Christian Marriage
Love, Dating and Sexuality • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Two Conflicting Cultural perspectives on Masculinity and Femininity:
Two Conflicting Cultural perspectives on Masculinity and Femininity:
The “Alpha Male” Movement:
Be the Alpha Male
Assert your opinion
Get with a lot of women.
Belittles Women:
“Women aren’t as smart as men”
Objectifies them.
This is often referred to as “Toxic Masculinity”
The Feminist Movement
Bitter towards men.
Thinks “men” are oppressors.
Rejects completely the idea of differring gender roles.
Views mothers as inferior to working women.
Belittle men.
Both…
Have ill feelings towards the opposite sex.
Pride in one’s own gender over the other.
Lack real love and respect for the other.
Lead to horrible marriages, if it ever gets that far.
What’s needed? Look at Ephesians chapter 5
Christian Marriage is to follow the example of Christ and the Church
Christian Marriage is to follow the example of Christ and the Church
To the Men: A Picture of Christ
To the Men: A Picture of Christ
1. Love your wife sacrificially, as Christ did for the church. Eph. 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
An active type of love.
He died for us.
He left his own comfort for us.
He didn’t come to be served, but to serve.
This is a radical type of love. Not just romantic infatuation.
2. Love your wife as your own body.
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
When your body hurts, you notice it.
You try to find ways to take care of it.
When you…
are hungry
need sleep
have pain
are injured
You shouldn’t neglect your own body.
If you do that, bad things happen.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
3. Love your wife and be united with her as long as you both live.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Leave his father and mother
His wife is now #1.
New hom is with her.
He stays with her.
Hold fast:
To be faithfully devoted to
To stick/adhere to.
To become one flesh
This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
You are no longer an autonomous person.
Two become one.
4. Lead your wife as you follow the Lord, because you are the head of the marriage. Eph. 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
You are going to be accountable to God for your marriage.
You are the leader: The question is, “Will you be a good leader or a bad leader?” “Will you be a passive leader or will you take initiative to lead?”
Your leadership should reflect your love for her.
Show her with your words and actions that you love her.
I wanted to share this with you first because…
This type of love that God calls men to…
Some will isolate the next verse in the Bible and…
Not see the whole context
Feminist: “See…. The Bible is massaganistic. It teaches toxic masculinity!”
Reply: “No, the Bible teaches Christ-like masculinity: For men to love, lead and lay down their lives for their wives as Christ did for the church. That’s real love. In fact it is the greatest display of love.”
To the Women: A Picture of the Church
To the Women: A Picture of the Church
1. Submit to the leadership of your husband. Eph. 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
This does not mean:
Man is sitting on the couch watching tv.
“Bring me a sandwich and a beer.”
“I’m going out with the boys to cabo for the weekend. Stay home, do chores and watch the kids. And the house better be clean when I get back.”
We’ve already established that the husband is to follow the example of Christ.
What it does mean:
God has givin your husband the calling to lead your marriage.
Make it a delight for him to lead.
Support and encourage him to seek the Lord and take initiative.
When he has a vision of what the family needs to do or go, follow him gladly.
Show him with your words and actions that you trust him and respect him.
Practically: In my Marriage
Most big decisions: Dana and I talk through together. We agree upon what we need to do.
Dana will sometimes say: “Kevin, I think this is something you just need to seek direction from God about.”
Schooling
Even then, I wanted to hear all of Dana’s thoughts.
I prayed and did research.
Came back and told her what I decided.
Very few times have their been decisions where Dana and I have disagreed and I have had to say, “I think this is what needs to happen. I need you to follow me in this.”
This is a good exercise in faith:
I have needed to trust that God was really leading me as I led our marriage.
Dana needed to trust that God was going to lead through me and take care of her.
Problems arise when either…
…The man becomes passive
…The woman tries to undermine her husbands leadership…
2. Strive to show respect to your husband
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
In summary, husbands and wives have different primary needs and distinct roles from God.
Men, what is the deepest longing of a womans heart from her husband? What does she really want? To be loved
Women, what is the deepest longing of a mans heart from his wife? What does he really want?
I know, you’re thinking sex… But that’s not the answer…
To be respected.
Do you see the difference?
Do you see the difference?
We started out the night by bringing up the opposing movements:
The Alpha Male
Feminism
The Biblical picture is neither of these, nor is it a compromise or a blend. It is something complely different.
It’s Love and Respect
Resources
Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs, “Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs