Sermon Tone Analysis
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By Pastor Glenn Pease
A neurologist was flattered when a patient in a mental hospital said to him, "We like you better than any other doctor we have ever had." "But why?" asked the doctor, with a smile, showing his delight.
"Because," replied the inmate, "You are more like one of us."
Sometimes flattery can be a flop.
Even if it is sincere, it can come out wrong.
Like the woman who said to her pastor, "That message was like water to a drowning man."
He thought she meant it as a compliment, but he could never be sure.
Flattery can be used to deceive people in so many ways that it usually has a negative meaning.
The Jewish Talmud says, "A community where flattery prevails will end in exile."
Almost every reference to flattery in the Bible shows it to be a tool of evil.
Paul wrote in I Thess.
2:5, "We never used words of flattery..." When Paul said he was all things to all men, he did not mean he was even a flatterer.
Paul considered this to be deceitful and not an acceptable tool in evangelism.
It could be so used, however, for we all like to think well of ourselves, and we are always delighted with anyone else who can perceive our good points.
So we are all susceptible to flattery.
Benjamin Franklin said,
A flatterer never seems absurd:
The flattered always takes his word.
In the realm of romance flattery is a dangerous weapon, for it is possible to so love the nice things that are said that one soon believes he, or she, loves the sayer of them.
The sayer is even himself deceived, and many people get married, not because they love each other, but because they love themselves, and enjoy being told how wonderful they are.
Flattery can be used to deliberately deceive for the sake of immoral gratification as well, and many a foolish girl lets sweet talk her life sour.
Shakespeare said, "You play the Spaniel and think with waging of your tongue to win me."
A dogs waging tail is an honest expression of love, but a waging tongue of flattery is more often a tool of deceit.
David portraying a society which is totally corrupt says in Psalms 12:2, "Everyone utters lies to his neighbor with flattering lips and a double heart they speak."
Lying and flattery are like partners, as we see in Prov.
26:28, "A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin."
Groucho Marx was an expert as using flattery in a negative way.
He was leaving a party he felt was exceedingly dull.
He said to the hostess, "I've had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Sometimes the truth does need to be told subtly.
Samuel Johnson said to an author, after reading his book, "Your manuscript was both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."
That is telling it like it is, and is not really a negative use of flattery.
The person to be wary of is the person who agrees with everything you say and do.
Such flattery will hinder, rather than help.
How can we reconcile the negatives of flattery with the positives of compliments and honest appreciation?
If I tell a person they look sharp, am I guilty of flattery, and using my tongue for evil?
If I see value, talents, and gifts in people, must I keep silent because of the danger of flattery?
Definitely not.
The Song of Solomon is filled with constant compliments coming from the mouths of lovers.
They flatter each other, as most lovers do, as being the two most beautiful people on the planet.
The complimentary language of lovers is essential to their love.
Without beautiful words they would have a hard time expressing their love.
Yet, they may use all the same words that are used by the flatterer.
What is the difference?
The difference between good and evil in so many areas of life is in love.
Love makes the difference.
If I have the tongue of men and of angels, but have not love, I am sounding brass and a clanging symbol.
All the evil of flattery is a matter of nice words without love.
When hate and deceit speak, they may use the best words for their evil ends.
Evil needs good words to get anywhere.
The evil of flattery could not exist without the use of good words, and so evil uses the very vocabulary of love.
When love speaks, it looks for the best in everyone.
It looks for a way of being constructive and encouraging.
Jesus was a master at the art of complimenting.
Instead of blasting sinners with words of condemnation, He said, "Go and sin no more," expressing confidence in their ability to do so.
He even said to the Gentile Centurion, "A greater faith have I not seen in Israel."
Jesus even complimented His enemies.
He knew the Pharisees were good students of the law.
He taught that what they said was good, even if they didn't follow it, so He said to do what they say, but not what they do.
He complimented sinners by eating with them, and He did the same with the Pharisees.
Jesus could find good points in all people.
Jesus was not opposed to any man, or any group, but only to the falsehoods that corrupted them.
A legend is told about Jesus walking through the gates of Jerusalem.
He saw a crowd gathered around a dead dog.
The Scribes passing by kicked it with contempt, but Jesus stopped and said, "Behold the pearly whiteness of its teeth."
Jesus could find something to compliment even in a dead dog.
The reason He could is because He loved all men, and all creatures.
Love makes the difference.
Lust, however, uses the same words.
In Prov.
7:21-22 we read of how the harlot ensnares a man.
"With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.
All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter..." We see that smooth talkers can be female as well as male.
When words are an expression of true feeling, they are beautiful and positive.
When they are used as a method of getting our own way, they are negative and ugly.
Someone said there is really nothing remarkable about love at first sight.
It is after people have looked at each other for years that love is really remarkable.
True love goes on giving appreciation of the one loved.
Therefore, compliments and praise are a perpetual aspect of the lover's language.
When lovers cease to compliment one another, they are losing their admiration, and taking each other for granted.
Healthy love never stops singing the praises of the lover.
In the Song Of Solomon we have a song of lover's praise.
The Shepherd and Shepherdess are constantly complimenting one another on their beauty.
We also have the flattery of King Solomon, however, who tries by sweet talk to persuade the Shulemite girl to forsake her lover and become his.
In verses 9-11, many feel we have an example of the kings flattery.
It does differ from the language of the Shepherd lover.
Solomon's flattery revolves around the externals and deals with the man made adornments of beauty.
Solomon compares her to a mare of Pharaoh's chariots, and speaks much of jewelry.
The compliments of the Shepherd and the Shepherdess to each other all revolve around natural beauty.
The contrast is between the beauty of the kings palace, and all the man made objects, and the beauty of nature so precious to these two country lovers.
These two have no love for the adornments of the city.
Their hearts are filled with the pleasant realities of God's creation.
In verse 12 she tells of the context she is in: The king is on his couch.
A couch of fancy gold embroidery, no doubt, but she dreams only of the green grass of the field, so precious to the sheep, and so beautiful for the Shepherd lover, who rests on it under the shade of a tree.
The couch is green for them, and not gold, like that of the palace.
It is green and natural, and to them this is far superior.
In verse 16 the Shulamite girl says to her lover, "Our couch is green."
In verse 17 she says, "The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters are pine."
Again, she imagines looking up from the grass at the trees around them, and she longs for that kind of roof over her head, rather than the fancy roof of Solomon's palace.
God's natural roof was her delight.
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