Belonging
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Intro
Intro
Belonging is a fundamental part of being human: We need people and this need is hardwired into our brains. In his book the Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt says that all the research on what it takes for us to be happy points us to belonging. We need what he calls “vital engagements”, that is, a sense that we’re part of something, attached and close and thoroughly accepted.
But I wonder if you feel like you belong here at church.
I shared a quote with you a few weeks ago from John Swinton, he said to belong, you need to be missed. I wonder if you feel like if you skipped church for the next month or two, someone would notice. Would anyone follow up to make sure you’re ok?
Last week we saw Jesus’ prayer for us as a church. He prayed that we would be united around him, around our conviction that he is the truth, united in our love for him and each other.
In one sense, what he’s praying for is that we would all belong. Despite our differences, our radically different pasts or personalities, Jesus insists that God is bringing us together into one united group.
But I wonder if you feel it.
Jonathan Haidt says that for us to feel like we belong, we need to be part of a group where we share our identity and goals, where we have something in common.
But as we saw last, God is calling people who have nothing in common to join together as his people. And it’s only natural that when you do that, there will be objections, there’ll be the comparison game - I’m not like them so I don’t belong, they’re not like me, so we don’t need them.
God’s plans for us, his church, is for us to have a unity, that is unlike the world’s. Not just based on being the same, not just based on papering over our differences. But based on the out-of-this world love of the Lord Jesus. And this morning we’re going to see how the gospel can overcome all objections and obstacles to us finding a place to belong.
Objection 1: I don’t belong
Objection 1: I don’t belong
State:
When we compare ourselves to others, we might find ourselves saying, I don’t belong here.
Look at what Paul says in vv. 15-16
Show
If the foot would say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear would say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.
Explain
Imagine if one day, you woke up and were getting ready to put on your shoes to head out for the day, and all of a sudden, your foot just said, “You know what, I’m done. I am tired of getting stepped on, shoved into shoes, and getting generally mistreated. I never get to shake hands with anyone, don’t get to help with picking things up. In fact, most of the day, I’m hot and trapped in these smelly shoes. I’m out of here.”
It’d be absurd right!
But Paul says, when we compare ourselves to other people, especially at church, that’s what we’re doing.
We might look at someone and say, they’re so talented, they read the bible so well, or they pray so passionately, and I can’t do that, no one will miss me if I don’t show up. I don’t really belong, I don’t have a place.
But that’s wrong.
If we are playing the comparison game, Paul’s saying that we’ve forgotten what’s happened to us, and how we got here. Look at verse 12-13
For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.
No one auditioned to become a Christian. Hands up if you sat an exam to be accepted by God? Hands up if you had to demonstrate proficiency in bible reading, or praying, or running a community op-shop in order to be a Christian?
I thought not. We become part of the body of Christ by being Baptised. Paul says the Holy Spirit joined us together, a diverse body.
And just like our physical bodies need diversity, so does the body of Christ.
If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be?
Apply - Priesthood of all believers.
It’s funny how many different titles there are for my role. When Mike from Young Life first met me and we were chatting about renewing our partnership, he asked me so what do I call you? Pastor? Minister? Priest? Reverend? And I said, yes.
But from what we’re seeing here, from what God has done in making all of us members of his body, then we’re all ministers, we’re all priests, we’re all called to serve in different ways.
This was a huge insight of the reformation, the realisation that everyone, not just clergy or monks or nuns, but everyone has a role to play in the life of the church. Everyone belongs. Everyone is a minister.
You may not be able to write a sermon. You may not be able to come up with a bible study or a seminar. But if all of us were bible teachers, this wouldn’t be a church, it would be a theological college. And like a body that is all mouth, with no limbs we’d say a lot and go nowhere.
Likewise, you may not feel very pastoral. You may not be a very warm fuzzy kind of person. Perhaps you’re more down the practical end. Maybe you’re more of a doer than a feeler. Well, if all of us were feelers, if all of us were very pastoral, this wouldn’t be a church, it would be a social club. And like a body that is all heart, with no hands, we couldn’t offer people help they need a hand.
If we are going to follow Jesus directions and be the church he wants us to be, if we are going to have a church where we all belong, and feel like we belong, then each one of us needs to think of ourselves as ministers. All of us need to realise that we all have a part to play, even if it’s a different part than the person next to us. I do mean everyone from little Peter McDonald, and the twins Brixton and Braiden, right through to our oldest members down at Bill McKenzie Gardens, all of us are ministers. We all belong.
Transition
But sometimes it’s not that little voice in our heads telling us that we don’t belong. Sometimes we’re hearing it from other people. And sometimes, if we’re honest, we’re saying it to other people - in so many words.
Objection 2: You don’t belong
Objection 2: You don’t belong
State
Sometimes when we compare ourselves to the other people we find at church, we find ourselves saying in our hearts, ‘you don’t belong’.
Show
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and those members of the body that we think less honorable we clothe with greater honor, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior member,
Explain
We are all works in progress, we all need grace. That’s the core of the gospel - that Jesus makes us part of his body, not because of our performance, but in spite of it!
And just to help us understand how serious this is, this letter is written to one of the most messed up churches you’ll ever read about. As you read through 1 Corinthians you hear about people who are openly fighting one another, they’re extremely arrogant, the rich people in the church are putting on these extravagant feasts but when the poor people turn up they get nothing, there’s even a guy who is boasting about sleeping with his mother-in-law. It’s an absolute dogs breakfast of a church. And yet, Paul says in the opening chapter that even this church are saints. They are members of Christ’s body. It’s a powerful reminder that all of us, you and I and everyone else are only here because of God’s grace, his free gift to us.
But because we are different, and because God brings us together, it’s natural that we will rub each other the wrong way. There will be times when we get on each others nerves. There will be differences of opinions. More than that, we will let each other down. And when that happens, we may find ourselves asking ‘why do I put up with you? I don’t need you? Why do I waste my time with you. It would be better if you just left”.
Or, we may find ourselves thinking, I’m working hard for this church, I’m giving up a lot of my time and energy and resources, I’m busting a gut, and you’re just along for the ride, you’re a passenger. What is the point of you? You’re just slowing me down.
That’s natural. That’s the way things go when we put different people together. That’s how the world works.
But for a body, it’s death.
Illustrate
The smallest organ in your body is the pineal gland. It’s a pine-cone shaped thing, about 4mm long right in the middle of your skull. As far as we know, it has just one purpose: to create melatonin. Melatonin helps regulate your sleep cycles. It helps you feel sleepy at the right time and stay rested. It may also help with cardiovascular health and a few other things. But it’s all controlled by this one little organ which many of us didn’t even know we had until now.
Now, there are people out there who think they don’t need sleep, or think they need far less of it than everyone else. And it’s true, some of us can get by with a bit less. But chronic sleep deprivation is linked to a whole string of health problems which can’t be overcome just by a bit of caffeine and self-belief. If we don’t sleep, our bodies fall apart.
Likewise, we may be aware of people who don’t seem very active here at church. But there are people in this church who are working away, behind the scenes, doing things that many of us don’t even know about. They pray in the quiet of their own homes, without making a big show of it. Or maybe they give without letting anyone know it was them. Or maybe they do something else that is literally holding this place together, but we don’t even know what it is.
Or maybe, the very fact that they aren’t busy, they aren’t showy, they seem ‘weak’, serves a purpose. God has designed it this way for our good. To show us that our belonging is not based on our performing.
If we are feeling let down by others, disillusioned by church and perhaps tempted to disengage or go it alone, we need to come back to the gospel again. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it:
“Disillusionment with our local church is a good thing because it destroys our false expectations of perfection. The sooner we give up the illusion that a church must be perfect in order to love it, the sooner we quit pretending and start admitting we’re all imperfect and need grace. This is the beginning of real community.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Apply
There are no vestigial parts of the body of Christ. There are no people that we can get by without, without it hurting us and making it harder for us to do what God has called us to do. There’s no one, no part of the body of Christ that we can cut off without crippling ourselves. Every single one of us belongs here.
transition
The beauty of a place where you belong
The beauty of a place where you belong
state
show
whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honor to the inferior member, that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it.
Illustration
Jonah Lomu, the Kiwi Rugy player was famous for being virtually unstopable. When he was at his peak, he could just run through three or four guys like it was nothing. He was big, he was tough, he was fast. But as big and as tough and powerful as he was, I’m betting that a toothache could’ve stopped him.
Explain
Everyone hates pain. We want to avoid it - some would say our entire way of life these days is designed to avoid it. But pain is useful. Physical pain in the body does serve a purpose. It is supposed to warn us when part of our body is being damaged. It’s just natural for us. Pain in our bodies immediately focuses our attention. We automatically try and figure out what’s wrong and how to fix it. And if we can’t, we try to soothe the pain as best we can.
And Paul says, if we block out the pain of other members of Christ’s body, if we refuse to feel it or even see it, there is something seriously wrong. It’s like acting as if your finger doesn’t really belong to you, so it doesn’t matter if it’s burning to a crisp. Or acting like your big toe isn’t really doing anything for you, so it doesn’t matter if it’s getting run over.
There is a situation where the body doesn’t feel pain, it’s called leprosy.
God has deliberately made us to belong together. It’s his wisdom. And just as we wouldn’t ignore the pain in our finger, we can’t ignore the pain of another member of the body of Christ. It shows them, and us, and the world looking on, that we belong together. That we’re one. That God has brought diverse, different people into a deep and profound connection and in such a way that every single one is just as important as the other.
Illustration
When Jonah Lomu was playing, there were All Blacks fans who acted like the rest of the team was unnecessary. Lomu was so dominant, so awe inspiring, so terrifying for the opposition that he basically carried the team. But he didn’t believe that. When he got a try, he shared the glory with the whole team - with the whole country! He was humble enough to know that it took a nation to get him over the line.
Apply
When the “weaker” memebers of our church, the ones who feel like they have nothing to offer, the ones that are too grief stricken to do anything, or too poor to make any dint on our budget, or too frail to move a coffee cup, let alone set up for coffee op-shop. - when these weaker members are treated with honour, when their suffering is shared by everyone, and when they get to share the joy of those who are ‘up the front’, it’s beautiful. It shows the world what happens when you belong to Christ.
Conclusion
Conclusion
I was reading the NCLS surveys recently and one of the things people most value about this church is the way people care for each other. If anyone is in a crisis, they know they’ll be cared for, prayed for, looked after. That is beautiful. It’s the sign of a healthy body.
What God is calling us to do is to extend that care outwards. To help those people who have joined more recently to feel the same sense of belonging. To help those who are on the margins, maybe mums and dads from playtime, or our regulars at coffee op-shop, or bridge players, or our young life students, to extend the same care to them. To let them experience what it’s like to belong, even if they don’t yet believe. Because when we do that, we show the world the beauty of the gospel. That no matter who you are, no matter what you can or can’t do, no matter what you have to offer, God offers you a place, free of charge, where you can truly belong.