Does Gender Make a Difference?

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Grace to you and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. It is again a great honor to steward the pulpit and present the Word of God to the saints of Durbin Memorial Baptist Church.
Every time we gather for service we talk FROM the Word of God. We want everything we talk about to be from the Word of God. That will be true this morning as well. But in this introductory time, I want to talk ABOUT the Word of God, specifically what do we do when what we read rubs us the wrong way!
You might think it ridiculous for a pastor to ever suggest the Word of God will rub us the wrong the way, but I can virtually guarantee there will come a time when you come across something in the Bible that doesn’t meld well with your personal worldview.
A while ago, our church’s Scripture proclamation of the month was Hebrews 4:12. I’d like us to read it together now as we do during the Scripture proclamation portion of Scripture. *HAVE EVERYONE READ*
Hebrews 4:12 ESV
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
Now this verse deserves a longer breakdown than I am going to give it this morning, but I wanted us to gain one quick point from it:
The Word of God wrecks us to our core. It is a marvelous wrecking. It is a necessary wrecking. But it nevertheless is a wrecking! The Word of God is SUPPOSED to pierce us to the core of our being. To cut us to our hearts! On the pages of Scripture we see the will of Holy God so contrary to our sinful nature that He had to send His Son to redeem us! Following God and thus accepting His Word, does not come natural to us!
If you’ve never come across something that has given you pause, something you had to wrestle with in Scripture, that means you’re either the holiest person this side of Calvary, OR you aren’t really reading! At least not deep enough to really consider what God is saying and counting the cost of following Jesus!
There are things that God has commanded in His Word that go completely against my natural instinct. The question then is, what do we do when we get to those moments?
We have a few options.
One, you skip over that part and ignore it. This doesn’t hold up for someone claiming to be a Christian because it shows no regard for Christ who told His disciples to teach others to observe ALL that He commanded. We aren’t obedient to Christ if we ignore His word.
So then another option we have when we come to a text that goes against our natural instinct is to throw away the whole thing. Forget the Bible, it was written millennia ago. It doesn’t hold up today. This option is certainly more logical than skipping over the parts you don’t like, but it ultimately decimating. We just read that the Word of God pierces to the heart and discerns our thoughts. In the very next verse of Hebrews 4, if you read there later you’ll see that no creature is hidden from God’s sight. All are naked and exposed before God to whom we must give an account. You can choose to throw out God’s Word and reject it completely, but I promise you that will be a decision you regret.
There are two more options we have when come across a text that goes against our nature. The third, and most common option is to make the Bible agree with you by reinterpreting it. This is taking a text twisting the words or developing any rationalization you can to make it say something that agrees more with what you want it to say. This is the most common, but like the other options we’ve discussed this morning, it is deadly. We’ve discusses already in this series that any other gospel does not save. When we twist Scripture to our liking, we contort it into something less than it ought to be. This desecration has been happening almost since the beginning of time. In the garden of Eden, the serpent of old, the devil, Satan approaches Adam and Eve with the clever wording, “Did God REALLY SAY…”
Ever since that same scheme has been employed countless times. We, like Adam and Eve are tempted to craft what God said into whatever we want. But as we will be reminded even in our text from 1 Timothy this morning, doubting and twisting what God has said has dire consequences both for Adam and Eve and us today.
There is one more option we have for when we come across a text that goes against our nature. Please open to 1 Timothy chapter 2 as I explain. The final option is to submit and do what God says, taking peace that His thoughts and ways are greater than our own. It takes no faith to serve a god that asks nothing of you or causes no change in your life. It takes great God-given faith to Submit to God and see that He is worthy to be served! When we come across something in Scripture that we don’t understand or have a hard time agreeing with, it is not the Bible that needs to change or needs to re-contextualized, or re-whatever. It’s US! We’re the ones who need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds! We should seek to dive in and really grasp what God is saying, not trying to change it, but trying to be formed in it!
Today as we read through the end of 1 Timothy 2, we will be seeing God’s design for gender in the church. This topic will be a challenge to the modern conception of gender roles. It is my goal this morning to faithfully present the Word in a way that is Thus saith the Lord, and not, “Did God really say.” If you are challenged by the text this morning, seek the whole council of the Word. Approve what we discuss by Scripture and decide what you are going to do with what you find. Will you ignore it, reject it, change it, or accept it understanding that God’s design is for our good and His glory? And if all else fails, and you leave this frustrated with me, just be patient. Next week’s message is entitled, Should We Fire the Pastor?
Let’s begin in 1 Timothy 2:8
1 Timothy 2:8 ESV
I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;
Now, when I say that we are going to be discussing gender in the church. Most people think that this is going to be some sort of diatribe against women. However, this morning we will be talking about both genders.
This verse that we are reading at the moment uses the word men. Now in English, sometimes “men” can refer to all people. But that is explicitly not the case here. The word used in greek here is specifically describing adult men. So fellers, as we understand the book of 1 Timothy to be a guidebook for having order in the church, this should get our attention. Paul is talking first to Timothy and addressing the men in the church at Ephesus, but by extension, this instruction is for us today as well.
In verses 1-7 we saw that the church is called to pray for all people and leaders so that they may have quiet, godly lives and have opportunities to share the gospel of Christ with others and see them come to salvation. We pray for this because God cares about this. We know God the Father cares about salvation because He provided salvation in Christ Jesus. We know Christ, God the Son, cares for salvation, because He willingly gave up His life to provide it. We didn’t get into this last week but for good measure God the Holy Spirit cares about salvation because He calls us to conviction and seals us for redemption. So because God cares about saving His people, we are to as well, and we pray for what we care for.
Then we get to this verse this morning. Paul says I desire, that means this may not be a strict command, but it is more than a simple suggestion. This is something good for the glory of God. It is pleasing to God and edifying for the man. In every place men should pray. As we progress through the text this morning and into next week, we will see the role of Elders or pastors in the church. But that is not what Paul is talking about. This is an instruction for all men. Elders and Deacons and Layman all included. We should all be praying everywhere we go, praying without ceasing. But specifically in the context of this book discussing order in the church, we should note that men should be praying in the church!
You may be familiar with Charles Spurgeon.
He was a 19th-century English preacher and pastor of the New Park Street Chapel in London, England, later named the Metropolitan Tabernacle. The church held 5,000 people. With no sound system, it was said that his voice could be heard by all. A group of young ministers called on him one day to see the large preaching place. After showing them his massive sanctuary, Spurgeon offered to show then his “boiler room.” The guests declined but the pastor insisted.
Spurgeon led them to the basement. “This,” Spurgeon said with a smile, “is my boiler room.” They found about 100 people in prayer.
Whenever Spurgeon was asked the secret of his ministry he always replied, “My people pray for me.” This would happen before, during, and after services were held at Metropolitan Tabernacle.
Now, I am not suggesting we send then men into the basement during the Sunday gathering, but I am requesting that in the moments of silence, during the songs, as we read the Word together that we would be united as a congregation in praying for the proclamation of God’s Word to work in the hearts of people, show them their need of a Savior, and Christ’s sole-sufficiency to be that Savior!
In the back half of verse 8, Paul exposes two struggles that men can have within the context of the church.
Paul first exposes men’s passivity in worship. He says he desires for men to pray WITH holy hands up. This is arms up in the air! Paul is telling men, don’t be afraid to lead in worship! Men should be stepping up to pray publically in the church, being a witness to those around them. being bold in the faith. Quick to take our requests, desires, intercessions, and thanksgivings to the loving God whom hears them with care! Lifting hands to God outwardly expresses an inner dependence on God!
The Paul says pray WITHOUT anger or quarreling. This exposes men’s disposition for aggression! Men, we can really be quick to anger. But Jesus told us in the Sermon on the Mount that we can’t really worship when there is division among us.
Men are to be leaders. Leaders even in the devotional life of the church. Even if that is not something comes natural to you, it is for your good and God’s glory that you cherish that role.
The overall message here from Paul is not that men absolutely have to raise their hands every time they pray. The emphasis is on holiness. He is calling men to pray. Pray fervently with a character of righteousness, with unashamed devotion to God. To reject the sin that seems to so naturally rear it’s head. Be bold in the faith and stand right before God. Men, this is ALL of our calling.
In the next verse the attention is changed to the women of the church.
1 Timothy 2:9–10 ESV
likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
So Paul showed that the men had a problem with passivity in worship and aggression in conduct. The problem exposed for the women is that of a lack of modesty.
Modesty is always an interesting topic in my mind. When we walk through a text like this, we have to remind ourself about the overall goal of the text. Paul is writing this letter to provide clarity on structure for the church in Ephesus. If we read these verses quickly and without really considering what is being discussed, we might be tempted to swiftly and abruptly ban all braids, gold, and pearls. But there’s nothing inherently evil about these things. Take gold for instance. In the creation narrative in Genesis 2 it is said that there is gold in the land of Havilah and the gold of that land is GOOD! The father of Israel Abraham was known for being rich in gold without being admonished for it. Israel is told their gold will multiply as they follow the Lord. Much of the tabernacle and later temple were made of gold. The High Priest actually wore gold adorn the turban worn on his head. Revelation 21 describes the new Jerusalem as a having a street of pure gold.
My point in going through a quick survey of the positive uses of gold in the Bible is to show that in and of itself gold is not evil. If you are wearing gold studded earrings right now, you don’t have to feel guilty and throw them away. Paul isn’t interested in being the fashion police. As Paul describes the braids, gold, pearls, and costly attire he is making a direct reference to the style of dress popularized by the roman courts. “These styles connoted the excessive luxury and licentiousness of the Roman court. ‘Today’ [One commenter wrote], ‘it is the equivalent of warning Christians away from imitation of styles set by promiscuous pop singers or actresses.”
The takeaway from these verses is that when we come to church, we come not to be worshiped, but to be worshippers! The idea here is that true beauty doesn’t come from outward appearance, but from serving the Lord!
Look deeper at verse 10, Paul says don’t get caught up in the fashion show, making the church service into the carpet of the Kentucky Derby, but rather be covered with good works!
David Murray wrote, “What is a beautiful woman? Here’s God’s answer. Do something beautiful for God, and you’ll become beautiful doing it. Good works reveal and even reform a good heart. That kind of beauty can grow with age, stopping and even reversing the aging process. True beauty isn’t skin-deep; it’s soul-deep.”
Now before we move on to the final section of our text this morning, I think we ought to note something very important. Thus far the instruction has been divided between men and women. This is because there are natural and general differences between men and women that cause issues to be addressed differently with each gender. This doesn’t mean that every man struggles with aggression, nor that no women are ever aggressive. It doesn’t mean that every woman is overly involved with her appearance, nor that men are encouraged to flaunt themselves as much as they want.
These issues are addressed this way because there are general and categorical differences between men and women. And no matter how much our society tries to blend that line, it just doesn’t work. You can say gender is a societal construct all you want but the general revelation of history will show time and time again from Toledo to Timbuktu that there are differences between men and women and those differences remain across cultures. Can there be particular exceptions, sure. But exceptions only prove the rule. This is why in our church’s essentials of belief we have written, “We believe that God wonderfully and permanently creates each person as male or female. These two distinct, complementary genders together reflect the image and nature of God. Rejection of one’s biological sex is a rejection of the image of God within that person.”
Our teaching from 1 Timothy thus far this morning has highlighted that there are differences between genders. As we come to the final section for this morning, we see how God intends different roles based on gender.
Read with me 1 Tim 2:11-12
1 Timothy 2:11–12 ESV
Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
Now this is the section that is particularly controversial in our time. There are some who suggest that this text was written only for the audience in Ephesus, dealing with a specific issue within the church, and doesn’t mean anything to us today. Others suggest that Paul is simply wrong. We should just skip over this section completely. Others suggest that this is simply Paul’s opinion and not something that a modern church would need to really wrestle with. Others say that the word translated women here is better translated wives and thus we aren’t talking about conduct in the church, but rather the functioning of a complementarian marriage. However, all of these would be foreign interpretations to the text that really only began appearing in the mid 1900’s. They are ways for people to change the text and make it into a “Did God REALLY say…” situation.
These are very creative attempts to redefine Scripture, but creativity is unnecessary and deceiving when it is contrary to God’s Word!
To understand what is really being said here, we have to understand the context. We have seen that the book of 1 Timothy is discussing the proper order of God honoring church. We saw last week that God desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. We saw that we are to share this desire for others to be saved and live lives that are godly and dignified so that we can share Christ with others. Today we have seen particular ways in which men and women are called to live out holy lives. Men are called to lead in worship and reject unnecessary aggression. Women are called to reject licentiousness and instead profess godliness in their lives through good works. What we should be seeing here is that the ways we pray and present ourselves have everything to do with our gospel witness.
Now, when we come to verses 11 and 12 and then the following, we are seeing how the way we conduct ourselves is embodied in the authority and teaching given in the church.
Verse 11 says, “Let a woman learn quietly and with full submissiveness.” People in the modern area are quick to jump on the last half of that sentence and be up in arms, but before we get to there we have to note the significance on the first half. When Paul wrote this letter to Timothy, the idea that women would be allowed to be taught would be revolutionary! This culture viewed women as intellectually inferior to men, so hearing “let women lead” would ave been “liberating and dignifying.” This was a game changer! It affirms the spiritual equality of men and women! We can all be taught together! The words here are instructive for women who had never really been allowed in this type of setting before. Learning quietly and with all submissiveness doesn’t mean that women are never allowed to open their mouths or talk about anything. In line with the other instructions given today, the intention is much deeper than simple silence. Quietly means peaceably, it means with a lack of disturbance. This is a teaching point that when the church gathers, it is not to be full of contention. The worship service is to be orderly. The women, along with the men in the congregation for that matter, were to submit to the elder’s teaching that is submitted to God’s Word.
So Women are to learn quietly with all submission to God’s Word. Then we come to next hot topic: Paul writes “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather she is to remain quiet.”
When we look at what is being prohibited here, we will see that Paul is talking about eldership in the church. The word for teaching used in the same sentence with authority is talking about the office of Pastor.
Where am I getting this? Well, we know that Paul would agree women can certainly be gifted to teach in some settings. In the pastoral letter to Titus, he instructs the older women to teach the younger what a godly, dignified life looks like. Further, Paul instructs men and women both to be involved in the regular discourse of the church in which the Word of Christ dwells in us richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. We also see that Priscilla and Aquila, wife and husband, teach Apollos together in their home. Women are certainly to teach and are instrumental for the life blood of a healthy and thriving church. But as we see in our pastoral epistle this morning, it is to happen with the context that God has designed it be.
In our statement of Faith, we have encapsulated this truth as follows:
“While both men and women are gifted for service in the church, the office of pastor/elder/overseer is limited to men as qualified by Scripture.”
We need to note that the office of pastor/elder/overseer isn’t open to just any man. We’ll get into the more specific qualifications next week, but Paul shows us why this office is limited to men, and here’s a hint: its not because he was trying to be mysoginist.
1 Timothy 2:13–15 ESV
For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Paul first explains women serving in the church in congruence and submission to the elders of the church, by appealing to the order of creation and the implied design thereof. John Stott wrote,
“All attempts to get rid of Paul’s teaching on headship (on grounds that it is mistaken, confusing, culture-bound or culture-specific) must be pronounced unsuccessful. It remains stubbornly there. It is rooted in divine revelation, not human opinion, and in divine creation, not human culture. In essence, therefore, it must be preserved as having permanent and universal authority”
Firstness denotes authority all throughout Scripture. Like Christ being called the firstborn in Colossians 1:15, All throughout Scripture you will see a connection between authority and firstness.
R Kent Hughs notes that God could have created Adam and Eve at the same time but He chose not to. He created Eve for Adam. “She was created to be his “helper.” The unchanging fact is that God desires that the order of creation be reflected in his church, the Body of Christ.”
So the reasoning begins with the order of creation and then is supported by the order of deception. We read Eve was deceived and became a transgressor. If you are familiar with Genesis 3 you know that the serpent, Satan, tempts Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. She listens eats, then gives some to Adam and he eats as well. We miss the point if we seek to blame Eve and absolve Adam from all guilt here. We know that sin came to us even today through Adam. What we should be noting in the Genesis narrative and what Paul is pointing here is the negative impact of inverting the created order. In Genesis God creates Adam > Eve is given to be a helper > They are given dominion over creation and the beasts of the field. At the Fall, everything is flipped upside down. The Beast > Tempts Eve > Who is supposed to be Adam’s helper but instead leads him > to then sin against God.
“Sin came into the world when the Serpent strove to assault God’s order. Likewise, to subvert the headship principle that God established at the very beginning would be to subvert God’s design. This is why he prohibits women from teaching and exercising authority within the gathered assembly. The prohibition is not because of deficiency of intellect among women. Nor is it due to some situation specific to the Ephesian church. Because this prohibition is rooted in the order of creation, it is a transcultural principle to be observed for all times and ages.”
Once we understand that, we are left in verse 15 with some seemingly really strange advice. Paul says 1 Timothy 2:15“Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.”
Where in the world did that come from? What does that even mean? We know that we are saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. We know that not all Christian women survive childbirth, as well as some never experience childbirth. So what could this possibly mean?
Paul is using a common life example to explain a deeper principle. Just like gold wasn’t the specific problem but the heart behind it, so it is with the example of childbirth. Childbirth is something exclusive to women. No amount of surgery will change the fact that only those with XX chromosomes can give birth. Paul is in essence saying, “Ladies embrace being a lady. “he means that by not seeking a man’s role they will more likely remain in the heart attitude that invites salvation and its attendant blessings.” It is the will of God that we live in accordance with His created order. And that only happens when we press on in faith, love and holiness, with self-control.
What we have been talking about this morning has nothing to do with “male superiority” or anything of that matter. One commenter noted that if we’re honest with ourselves and think back to grade school, it was always the girls who were messing up the curve. I can attest my wife is way smarter than me and I had to ask her what XX chromosomes were when I was putting my notes together for this very message.
No, “This is about living out the creation order that comes from the character of God, God’s goodness.”
God loved us enough to save us and to show us His will for His church. Jesus loves us enough to die for us and rise again to show us our hope for tomorrow. We seek to submit to Him in whatever role He has for us because we love Him. May we all seek to live in accordance with His design for our lives. If you want to know more about what that looks like in your life, I’d love to talk to you about it. Come forward or reach out today. Let’s pray.