Student Training
Student training • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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Intro
Intro
I believe that as leaders the thing we struggle with most is knowing that we are effective
Nothing is harder than going week in and week out and feeling like you are not making an impact
Feeling like you are wasting your time, wasting your breath, or just simply doing something that matters
I think the reason we oftentimes feel that way is because we don’t know what success is
We don’t know the goal we are trying to get to
When you don’t know the measure for success everything you do ends up feeling like a waste of time
Tonight I want to look over the principles from the book Lead Small
This is a short book that I think can make a lasting impact when it comes to leading an effective small group
What is success?
What is success?
Let me ask you a question: “Are you the best version of a Christ follower that you will ever be?” “Would you consider that you are done needing spiritual growth?”
The answer to that question is no.
See, as Christ followers we have never arrived.
I think that is why leading a small group can be so frustrating. We want to see our students make huge decisions, get radically changed by Jesus, start Bible studies at their schools, win their friends to Jesus, and live completely Holy lives.
You know what? Sometimes we do get to see that happen!
But other times it doesn’t always look like that.
See, life change through Jesus can sometimes happen slowly and over time. You ever have that grandparent or family member that you see infrequently? Each time you see them you are blown away at how much they have aged and how different they look. That is because you aren’t with them every day.
Maybe as a small group leader you feel this same way. You see other churches, or other small groups, and you notice all that is happening in their group and you wonder why you don’t see the same thing. But in reality, you are so invested with your group each week you forget to realize that it is about change that happens over time.
In his book Lead small, Reggie Joiner talks about success like this:
How to be effective:
How to be effective:
1 // Be present (connect their faith to a community)
1 // Be present (connect their faith to a community)
Understanding the human need for community and how important it is in our life.
Jesus surrounded himself with the 12 disciples to commune with deep relationships with.
Jesus connected the faith of the 12.
And then when he was no longer on earth to lead them, the disciples' faith stayed strong because their faith was connected to others.
8 with such affection for you we were happy to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us.
So how can I be present?
Show up predictably
Gain trust by making sure they know that you will show up every week for them
Show up mentally
You engage with students, commit to engaging in meaningful discussion and really listening
Care about what they care about
Ask them questions, seek to learn new information about them
Show up randomly
A phone call, a birthday card, a sports game, a text, a postcard from your trip
All of these random ways show the student that you care about them
By doing this, your students will begin to trust. They will open up, they will begin to root themselves in this community.
2 // Create a safe space (clarify their faith as they grow)
2 // Create a safe space (clarify their faith as they grow)
How can we make sure our groups are safe spaces for students to gather and learn in?
Value acceptance - be happy to see them, give eye contact, get in their level, lean in. Celebrate everyone equally, shutting down gossip, privately addressing individual issues as they arise.
Value confidentiality - your job is to balance the tension between encouraging confidentiality and knowing when to prompt one of your few to use discretion
Value honesty - encourage your group to be themselves, share doubts, ask questions, admit struggles. You model honesty in the way you share with them.
Helpful tip: The best way to make it a safe place is by allowing them in on some of what you are struggling with and dealing with. Let them know they are not the only ones that are struggling. You don’t have to spill your guts and deepest darkest secrets with them, but you can share how you struggle with the topic that is being talked about.
3 // Partner with parents (nurture an everyday faith)
3 // Partner with parents (nurture an everyday faith)
On average, each year we spend about 50-60 hours with our groups. That is being generous. That is why we need to partner with those who are with them for on average 3000 hours a year.
We can do this by:
Cue the parent: let them know what is going on
You can give them just the right information at just the right time so they can make a move to do more than they would otherwise do.
Let them know who you are and tell them what you’re talking about.
One thing we do at REVO is send out a parent email every week that includes what we are talking about both in the message and small group - but as a small group leader you should still strive to meet the parents of the teens that are in your group!
Honor the parent: take the parents side
If you’re not on the parents side, you’re not on the kids side
The parents are the ones that have the final authority when it comes to the kid
Outside of the students parents telling them to reject Jesus, we should always be trying to push the child to follow their parents
Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment accompanied by a promise, namely, “that it may go well with you and that you will live a long time on the earth.”
Reinforce the family: include parents in on big life decisions
When you are intentionally reinforcing the family, you’ll include parents and big decisions, like a moment of salvation or baptism.
By still including them, it has a potential to make a meaningful impact in the lives of the parents, the students, and your group as a whole!
Remember your roll in their life is temporary, the parents influence is lifelong
4 // Make it personal (inspire their faith by your example)
4 // Make it personal (inspire their faith by your example)
Being a small group leader is about the example you’re showing your students through your own life.
They have a front row seat to your life. The question is what are they watching?
If you want them to have healthy relationships, they need to see it in you.
If you want them to set boundaries they need to see it in you.
If you want them to be confident, and who God made them to be, they need to see it in you.
We can do this by:
Living in a community
No, your small group is not your community. It is your students' community you cultivate for them.
As leaders, we also need to put ourselves in groups where we are getting poured into so that students can see that, and so that we can have something to pour into them.
Set Priorities
They need to see what you value, your spiritual life and your relational life.
Be real
Find ways to relate to your group without compromising who you really are.
It’s more important for them to see a real life person that is still growing, learning and trying to live out authentic faith than it is for them to have another friend.
They need to see what God is doing in your life, and see that it is obtainable for them
5 // Move them out (engage their faith in a bigger story)
5 // Move them out (engage their faith in a bigger story)
Shocker, but you’re not always going to be their small group leader.
Do your part to encourage other adult influences in their lives.
Encourage serving. They will never feel significant until we give them something significant to do. Show them what it means to be the church
Help them to move on to what is next. Maybe it is moving up into high school small groups, maybe it’s filling out college applications. No matter what stage of life they are in right now, they are eventually going to face life transition.
How you prepare and walk them through that time can ease the growing pains and anxiety to make them feel more comfortable and secure.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Leading a small group isn’t easy, especially when there isn’t clarity on what we are supposed to be doing.
I hope that this time has served as an encouragement to you so that we can all be present, create safe spaces, partner with parents, make things personal, and move students out.
Before we wrap up our time, I’d love to invite John Wood up to pray for the crew and send us out!