Rooted In Your Wealth 21
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How To Have The Best Relationships
How To Have The Best Relationships
Text: Ephesians 5:18-21
Introduction
Have you ever desired to find the source of healthy relationships? I mean, have you every looked back and said, “I wish I had of handled that differently?” Or, “Why did I say it that way or respond that way?” It could have been the situation when you wished you had of said or done something instead of being passive.
Paul opens this section up by reminding the Ephesian believers who the source of healthy relationships is: THE HOLY SPIRIT.
Paul then describes what follows being “filled by the Spirit;” a particular interaction between one another. We understand more fully how a Christian should speak and submit to others. In other words, if there is right connection to God, there will be healthy connections with others.
1) The Spirit’s Control (18)
1) The Spirit’s Control (18)
A. The great contrast of control
A. The great contrast of control
There are so many things we can allow our lives to be controlled by.
Alcohol, drugs, depression, anxiety, even food.
We are surrounded by things that want to grip our lives.
Paul uses the misuse of wine to get his point across to how important it is to be controlled by the Holy Spirit.
Most things the world offers, when over indulged upon leaves you with major regret.
To be drunken is to have willingly given over control.
It is important to know who is in control!
Illustration: Henry likes to drive us on the golf cart!
When someone else is driving your car, who is flying your plan, or sailing the ship you boarded.
The fundamental meaning of being filled with the Sprit is— Filled with the joy that comes from God.
Acts 13:52 “52 And the disciples were filled with joy, and with the Holy Ghost.”
Acts 4:8, 31 “8 Then Peter, filled with the Holy Ghost, said unto them, Ye rulers of the people, and elders of Israel… [31] And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.”
Psalm 4:7–8 “7 Thou hast put gladness in my heart, More than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. 8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: For thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”
Whatever outside of God you are looking to to give you joy, God can give you SO MUCH MORE!
Let’s write out some comparatives between drunkeness and the Holy Spirit:
Drunkenness is sin / Holy Spirit is sinless
Drunkenness makes you lose control / Holy Spirit makes us self-controlled & filled with joy.
Drunkenness distorts your vision / Holy Spirit makes your purpose and path clear.
The commands of God never go outside of our greatness need! THIS IS THE NORMAL CHRISTIAN LIFE!
B. Controlled by the Spirit fits every context for the rest of your life
B. Controlled by the Spirit fits every context for the rest of your life
We will learn more about this later…but it is needed in the context of marriage. Not just marriage, but every relationship!
The Holy Spirit molds us to love, forgive, be peaceful, have self-control, gentleness, servant-hearted, etc.
Marriage especially teaches you how selfish you really are.
Everything in us will always broadside these commands and exhortations.
Conflict will always show up!
One sinner is bad enough, but in marriage you have two coming together in a selfless and sacrificial covenant of marriage!!!
Both parties have fallen short of the glory of God.
Something outside of you will have to be the one to create a greater desire to pursue harmony and peace.
There is no formula for this, but listen to these passages:
Romans 15:13 “13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”
Ephesians 4:30 “30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”
Colossians 3:16 “16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
Luke 11:13 “13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?”
Please note…this filling is not permanent! Sin will always short-circuit this process!
2) The Spirit’s Effects (v19-21)
2) The Spirit’s Effects (v19-21)
This idea of being “filled” appears in Exodus 31.
When God filled the tabernacle, the outflow was the very things Paul is exhorting you to do when filled with the Spirit.
A. Song naturally flows out of you
A. Song naturally flows out of you
The songs of a drunk usually reveal the corruption of his own heart, while the songs the Spirit brings to your heart speaks of the beauty of God’s heart.
Quote: We are a singing people because God is too great to merely be talked about. We are not just to think of His grace and speak of it; we are to feel it and rejoice in it. [Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians (Nashville, TN: Holman Reference, 2014), 133.]
Notice the variety of ways the Spirit leads you to sing:
Psalms — These were a collection of songs from God to be sung back to God.
Hymns — Would be considered spiritual music. That of which has scripture as it’s backbone. The great hymns.
Spiritual songs — Considered to be soulful music, choruses, lighter. A way of self-expression. Their survival rate is short lived, but they served a purpose.
Your singing is multidirectional; “one another” & “to the Lord.”
One reason the church is so weak is due to it forgetting how to sing!
Example: Paul and Silas always comes to mind — Acts 16:25 “25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”
They didn’t need to get drunk to enjoy their time in prison!
B. Thanks comes naturally out of you to God
B. Thanks comes naturally out of you to God
Question — What are you known for: complaining, murmuring, pouting, or GIVING THANKS.
Question — When are you giving thanks to God?
The Spirit-filled believer is a thankful person.
Due largely to maintaining a healthy reflection of what Jesus has done for you.
Quote: “So much has been given to me that I have no time to ponder that which I don't have.”—Helen Keller
C. Submission comes naturally out of you
C. Submission comes naturally out of you
Before Paul spends time speaking to this point in any other context, he speaks to submitting to one another.
Submission is not something you obtain naturally.
You can be sure that if a person is acting brashly, arrogantly, or in a self-assertive way, they are not walking in the Spirit. [Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians (Nashville, TN: Holman Reference, 2014), 135.]
Quote: The Holy Spirit is a humble Spirit, and those who are truly filled with him always display the meekness and gentleness of Christ. It is one of their most evident characteristics that they submit to one another. [Tony Merida, Exalting Jesus in Ephesians (Nashville, TN: Holman Reference, 2014), 135.]
Submit = to arrange under
A good soldier surrenders control!
No selfish agendas.
Live for the good of others.
NOT DIFFERENT FOR THE CHRISTIAN.
1 Corinthians 9:19 “19 For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.”
What is the main MOTIVE?
Jesus Christ is the ultimate authority over your life!
It flows from your life because you continually stand in awe of Christ, your King, and your judge.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Ask yourself this question: Who’s kingdom do I belong?