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(M002) Leadership and Submission 02_Husband Like Christ

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Mid-Week Teaching

Leadership & Submission

Part 2: Men Like Christ

Ephesians 5:25-33

March 6, 2013


* Childcare – really want to make easy for everyone to attend, need at least one person a week.

* Pay for dinner.

* Teaching and homework online.



1. How many of you did the HOMEWORK?

2. What is something you’d like to SHARE from “FOLLOW UP”

3. What is something you LEARNED from “LOOKING AHEAD”?

4. What are some QUESTIONS that you have from your READING?


Last week we looked at SUBMISSION and tried to redefine it as the BIBLE sees it, not at servitude, but living in our appropriate ROLES.

* We also talked about LEADING as an act of SERVING.

This week, I want to extend that lesson out to look at how MEN in general and HUSBANDS specifically are called to be servant leaders.

Q Do you think that MEN are LESS RESPECTED now than in the PAST?

Q What EVIDENCE do you see of that?

Q WHY do you think that has changed that?

I would argue that it was OUR FAILURE to be servant leaders that made the FEMINIST movement necessary.

Q What are the BARRIERS to men acting like GODLY men?


This topic is a very PERSONAL one, something I approach as a LEARNER and not necessarily the best example. I study this passage because I need it.

Ephesians 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Q What is the COMPARISON Paul is making?

Q Let’s try to FIND all of the points of comparison.

Notice that there is ONE BASIC COMMAND (repeated at the end): LOVE. The rest are ways we do that:


I would argue that the single biggest barrier to godly men is the same failure that got us here: SELF-CENTEREDNESS, failure to live like Christ.

* To be a GODLY man to be SELFLESS; this applies to all LEADERSHIP.

Q Would you describe YOUR FATHER as “selfless”; were his rules for his sake or yours?


But there is another side of sacrifice: COURAGE.

* Story of DUTCH and NICK HARRIS.

I think this has been one of my BIGGEST FAILURES, failure to lead courageously.

* This means that we don’t lead to FEEL BETTER about ourselves but to CARE for the other.


This can easily be MISUNDERSTOOD to mean “FIX your wife.”

FIRST, strictly speaking, this is what JESUS does, and he does it for “his church.”

SECOND, “holy” doesn’t mean “NEVER ANNOYS me,” it means that both of us are growing into the FULL IMAGE of what God has for each of us, and each other are his KEY TOOL.


I think this has both a LITERAL SIDE (to provide for our family) and a spiritual one. This means to ensure that our family is WELL-FED SPIRITUALLY.


Men are to LEAD their family SPIRITUALLY – you need to take INITIATIVE.

* As a PASTOR, I’ve realized that people watch MY EXAMPLE.


I said last week that leading is all about SERVING, it is the ultimate “it’s NOT ABOUT YOU.”

* EG: SWING DANCING is wonderfully sexist; the man leads, but his job is to make the girl look good.

Leadership is also all about RESPONSIBILITY: The buck stops with you, you take the fall for what happens.

* EG: Not wanting to APOLOGIZE.


I believe that as godly men, we have the HARDER JOB – Jesus WASHED the church’s FEET, not the other way around.


1. In what ways should the father lead spiritually?

2. What can you do to better lead your family?

3. How can wives help their husbands lead?

4. How can our church help men step up?


* Pick up kids quickly.

* Do your homework!


Follow up:

Men: Rate yourself on selflessness; courage; taking spiritual initiative.

In what ways do you want to grow?

Prayer of dependence

Wives: What are ways that you have made it harder for your husband to lead? How are you doing with submission?

Prayer for him.


Looking ahead:

Read Proverbs 31.

What do you respect about her?

What do you dislike?

Questions about the passage.

How does our culture make it harder to be a godly woman?


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