March 14, 2012
By John Barnett
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This Father’s Day I’d like to go back with you to the beginning—and together see God’s original intent and plan for men who would become husbands and fathers as seen in Adam.
As you turn to Genesis 2, we see God original plan for husbands and fathers.
Because as we honor fathers today all across our land—we can also remember that Father’s Day is all about God’s original design for husbands and wives, before the fall, before the warping that sin has caused.
In creation God designed men to be incomplete without the woman that He made for them.
When Paul instructed wives to be trained in how to love their husbands it was a reflection back upon God’s original plan for marriage.
Our study in Titus is just a reminder that when Christ's church has husbands loved by grace-energized wives, those wives are just following God’s plan He laid out from the beginning.
God made the first woman Eve, to become Adam’s close and cherished companion, friend, and completer.
Father’s Day is a grand opportunity to go back to see God’s design as He formed the first father in Genesis 2:18.
As we turn there, think of all that has happened from Genesis 1:1.
God has made the entire Universe and crowned it with His last creation, in His image called a man.
Then, God finds the first thing in the entire Universe that was not good—it is right here in verse 18. God states that man should be alone.
So God crowns the creation of man with the creation of woman.
Watch this great event unfold in Genesis 2:18-25 (NKJV).
There is a wealth of marriage-changing-truth in these few words from God. Look at each piece.
v. 18 And the Lord God said, *“It is not good that man should be alone*; I will make him a *helper comparable to* him.”
*Men Need Close Companionship*
First, v.18a say literally “*not good is man’s aloneness*”.
That is as clear as can be.
Aloneness, solitary living is not good.
One of the deepest pains sociologists have measured in society is living and isolated and lonely life.
They report that such people ache with a deep pain they can’t even fully describe.
Adam ached, God observed, and announces the solution for this great need.
Next, in v. 18b is God’s plan, *“I will make him a helper comparable to him”*.
Notice God’s first reference to woman is by the title of ‘helper’.
English just doesn’t convey what that Hebrew word means; hence it is not seen as a great title.
Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary defines help as a noun meaning “one that helps, especially a relatively unskilled worker who assists a skilled worker, usually by manual labor”.
That definition in English is what has fueled the misconceptions of the inferiority of women and wives.
If that definition doesn’t capture the world’s view of us quaint people called Bible-believing Christian’s marriages, then I don’t know what does.
But that English definition is exactly not what ‘*helper*’ meant to God.
The Hebrew word God chose means something grand, literally it describes a person “who assists another to reach complete fulfillment”.
When the same word is used in other places in the Old Testament it is used of someone who went and rescued another person.
Now there we have it.
God made woman to come to man’s rescue and save him from his lonely existence.
Eve was designed to rescue Adam from not only loneliness, but also to completely fulfill Adam.
Then, God continues with another word that captures even more of the beauty of marriage.
This helper was “*comparable*” to Adam.
This suitable, or comparable helper was literally “corresponding to” Adam.
Man before woman had some missing pieces in the puzzle of his life and God said that was not good.
So Eve was the one who provided the missing pieces to Adam’s life.
Husbands by God’s design are incomplete until they receive that one God designed to correspond to them.
God promised that He would design her exactly to specifications for Adam.
And that is the plan of God for marriage.
Eve was to fulfill a God-designed-necessary-role that rescued Adam from missing his fulfillment—and in that process of being God’s special creation for man—Eve also found her completion and fulfillment.
Marriage was such an incredibly designed wonder of God!
*God Designed the Missing Piece To Adam’s Puzzle*
From the start each partner was unique, each partner was vital, each partner was distinct, and each had a God designed role that provided immense satisfaction, fulfillment and completion.
So Genesis next records the performance of this promise God made.
v. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.22
Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man *He made* into a woman, and *He brought her to the man.*
What an incredible moment.
God removes part of Adam (a rib) and *made* woman out of it.
The Hebrew word for “made” is “fashioned” and literally means “to build or rebuild so as to cause to flourish”.
The missing piece of Adam’s life that caused him loneliness was not good.
But when that missing part of his life was taken by God and fashioned—that missing piece of life’s puzzle flourished into Eve.
Adam’s rib under God’s design sprang to life as Eve.
She was his helper, his rescuer, his completer, his satisfier, and the one who fulfilled every dimension of his life as a man.
To make creation good God had to form a creature that was incredibly like man as well as incredibly unlike man.
Note the wonders of Eve’s creation:
• Eve was made *for* Adam.
• Eve was literally made *from* Adam (“bone of his bone”).
• Eve was brought* to* Adam.
• Eve was named *by *Adam.
There was an incredible equality about them: both were made by God; and both were made in the image of God.
They were made to complement one another, but not to compete with one another.
Note Adam’s response.
God brought her to him.
And every man or woman enjoying the privilege of marriage should at that statement lift their heart in gratitude to the Lord.
He designed the woman you have joined your life with, to be your helpmate that corresponds to every missing piece of the puzzle of your life.
He gave you a partner, soul-mate, and best friend designed to be all that is needed to have a life-long fulfillment.
v. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”
Adams exclaims that his wife Eve was made by God, given to him by God, especially designed, and intentionally made for his needs, as he was for hers.
Note once again in the last part of v. 22 that God personally brought Eve to Adam.
You will start a whole new chapter of your marriage and open an entirely new dimension to your relationship when you realize that God Himself designed your husband or wife just for YOU!
All of the differences you share in perspective, in taste, in personality, in mood, and in ability are all placed there by God for His glory and for your good.
*Women are Different By God’s Design*
Your wife is different from you as a husband because God made her different, and wanted her different.
The more you realize that truth and thank God for it, the sooner you will stop resenting those differences and resisting those differences; and start seeing her as the counterpart to your life that by God’s grace will help form you into what God wants you to be.
The passage continues on into the traditional marriage passage, but for us today we are going to focus on the wonderful need from Creation, for husbands to be loved by their God-designed wives, who were designed to rescue husbands from loneliness.
Adam’s role designed by God was to initiate, to lead, protect, provide, cherish, and husband his wife.
Eve’s role designed by God was to respond to Adam’s initiatives, follow Adam’s lead, comfort him as he protected her, receive Adam’s provision, and love him in all his dimensions as her husband.
The story of the fall is all about Eve’s first time to reverse her role.
When Eve initiated disobedience to God and Adam responded—sin, sorrow and death were the result.
But back to the original plan that it was “not good for the man to be alone”—when Titus came to minister on Crete he faced many men who were alone while they were married.
Their life was unshared, their initiatives were not fully responded to, their leadership was not fully followed, and their marriages and homes were as a result--far from God’s plan.
So God prompted Paul to write some words that can reach across the centuries and revitalize any marriage, any family, and any home.
The key is found in the call for not only Spirit-prompted *agape* love that is within the heart of every born-again believer—God also wanted each marriage and family to be trained in* phileo l*ove.
God wants wives to practice the constant improvement of an emotional love of friendship, of companionship, and of* a shared life with their husbands.
This love that glues husbands to their wives is a love that is chosen, and a love that is modeled, and a love that can be learned.
Paul commanded Titus to gather a group of grace-energized-women to be God’s servants, and deploy them as trainers in the ancient art of becoming husband lovers.
That was the first order of their curriculum.
*Give Your Husband Your Deepest Love*
Today, if you are married and want to give the best gift possible to your husband—give him not only your Spirit-prompted, sacrificial *agape *love that serves him and submits to him—give him also your emotional love that makes him become and stay your very best friend in all the world.
In fact, if you want to impact the rapidly-turning-pagan culture around us (much like that of Crete in Paul’s day) remember and heed the first thing Paul told them to do was love your husband in a way that can be felt.
4b “the young women to love their husbands” *
Wives energized by grace are first of all “lovers of their husbands”.
Titus 2 women understand that there are three specific life long priorities that make a wonderful start.