Commandment Seven: Pursue Holiness and Faithfulness in our Sexuality

Second, Please know that I love you and care for you too. I pray for you guys daily, and pray you would glorify the Lord and pursue holiness in your sexuality.

It would be easy for me to gloss over this commandment, but because I love you and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did and have regrets, I want to communicate the truth of God’s word to you on this subject.

So, at the outset, please know my heart. . . alright, let’s dive into what the seventh commandment means. . .

What Does This Commandment Mean?

Exodus 20:14 ESV

“You shall not commit adultery.

This command means that. . . “No one is allowed to have sex with any married person except his or her spouse, and no married person is allowed to have sex with anyone other than his or her spouse.” -Douglas K. Stuart

This word is used in the Bible to describe someone who is both unfaithful to their spouse and unfaithful to God (Jer. 3:1-10; James 4:4).

The positive command is to be faithful to the Lord and your spouse. The negative command is to not commit adultery against your spouse or against God.

Like the other commandments, this commandment gives the general admonition against adultery, but it also applied to condemning all forms of sex outside of a covenant marriage between one man and one woman for life.

So this would include all forms of sexual immorality: sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, etc.

I am not going to focus on homosexuality, same-sex attraction, transgenderism, etc. tonight but if you have questions about these things, please talk to your parents. I am happy to talk with you as well.

This commandment also argues implicitly against divorce.

In Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:4-6, Jesus says that marriage is for life and anyone who divorces his wife except on the grounds of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. . . and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

The reason God gave this command is to protect the sanctity, joy, and delight of marriage and sex between a husband and his wife.

Both Marriage and Sex were created by God and are good gifts from God.

Marriage

The purpose of marriage is to display the glory of God in the relationship between Christ and His church.

God’s definition of marriage is a one flesh covenant union between one man and one woman for life (Gen. 2:22-24).

Essentially, person’s marriage should be a picture of the gospel (Eph. 5:22-32).

Marriage should be lived in the joyful service of God as we join ourselves with another to serve God better than we could alone.

Sex

First, like anything else, sex was created by God to glorify and enjoy him.

The rest are in no particular order. . .

Consummation of marriage.

Procreation (to fill the world with God’s image bearers).

Love and pleasure (see Prov. 5:15-19; Song of Solomon)

God forbids sex outside of marriage because when someone has sex with another person it joins them with that person as a single organism. . . and if there is no covenant commitment then the relationship will end in destruction. . . Philip Ryken continues to say:

“Whenever people try to isolate the pleasures of sex, they always end up harming themselves and others. Sex is like superglue, squeezing it out at the wrong time or in the wrong place always creates an awful mess. The wrong things get joined together, and getting them unstuck again tears at the soul. This is why adultery is forbidden. It is because sex is a great force for good, but only when it is used to join one man and one woman for life.”

So, this is what the command means in Exodus. . . but as we learned last week, Jesus gives us the full meaning of this commandment in the sermon on the mount. . . and again, like last week, we can see that the seventh commandment is a matter of the heart.

Adultery of the Heart

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

In verse 28, Jesus says that anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The phrase “lustful intent” means to crave a person sexually.

This is not just a glance, but a second look, a gaze, a stare, in which you begin to fantasize about the person.

It is important to know that this is not speaking simply of the general desire for the opposite sex, to be married one day, to be attracted to the opposite sex, etc. . . but lustful desire to be with someone sexually who is not your spouse.

The story of David is a prime example that committing adultery with our eyes/heart will eventually lead to committing adultery with our bodies.

2 Samuel 11:1-4.

Essentially the desire is wrong because the person is desiring someone sexually that is not their spouse.

When we do this, we are treating someone like an object for our sexual pleasure.

One of the most prevalent ways we see this in our culture today is through viewing sexual content through the internet sites we visit, movies we watch, music we listen to, people we follow on social media, and books we read.

Viewing these things with our eyes and hearts is sexually immoral because it is engaging in sexual intimacy outside the confines of a covenant marriage b/w a husband and wife.

Put simply, viewing, watching, and listening to sexual material is a disease and poison to our hearts that will ultimately destroy us and everyone else that we love.

So what should our response be to sexual temptation? Jesus tells us in verses 29-30 that we must KILL IT!!

Matthew 5:29–30 ESV

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Job 31:1; Prov 6:25.

Jesus uses strong metaphors in these verses to emphasize the seriousness of dealing with the sin of sexual immorality.

What he is saying is. . . we need to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to flee sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:18).

We must cut everything out of our lives that could tempt us to fall into sexual sin.

What does this practically look like?

By guarding our minds and hearts from any Movies we watch, internet sites we visit, social media sites we engage in, people that we follow, games we play, music we listen to. . . that contains sexual content.

Fleeing sexual immorality also applies to how we conduct ourselves in our relationships with the opposite sex.

Instead of “setting boundaries” and then seeing how close to the line you can get without crossing it. . . make your goal holiness and pursue that goal with all your strength in your relationships.

Eph. 5:3 says as Christians, there should not even be “a hint” of sexual immorality among us.

What is “a hint?” I think if we view our relationships the way the Bible defines them, we will be able to walk in wisdom.

The Bible says in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 that men should treat younger woman as sisters in all purity. Until you get married, the person you date is either your brother or sister in Christ. . . so you need to treat them the same way you would treat your biological brother or sister.

Example of Ashley and I’s dating relationships.

Do you believe God’s will is good and the best life you could have?

If so, 1 Thess. 4:3-8 says that it is God’s will that we are sanctified by abstaining from sexual immorality. This command is for our good. . . by God telling us to flee sexual immorality, he is wanting to bless us and allow us to experience abundant life in Jesus!

Redemption from Sexual Sin

What if we have committed adultery in our hearts and fallen in sexual sin?

Based on Jesus’ words in Matthew 5, we have all committed adultery with our hearts in some way.

Therefore, according to 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, NONE OF US WILL INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD. . .

1 Corinthians 6:9–10 ESV

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

BUT. . . praise God that Paul does not stop at verse 10 but continues into verse 11. . .

1 Corinthians 6:11 ESV

And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Because of Jesus’ perfect obedience to God’s law and his sacrificial death in our place, we can be forgiven of all our sin. . . this includes our sexual sin.

I want all of you to hear this tonight. . . especially if you have recently fallen or even are currently falling in sexual sin. . .

There is NOTHING that you have done that the blood of Jesus cannot cover!

Kintsugi (Golden Repair)-Japanese Broken Pottery

As we discussed earlier the wicked adultery of David. . . when David confessed his sin to the Lord and turned from it, he was forgiven.

First, he cried out to God:

Psalm 51:1–2“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!”

Second, he made his appeal for forgiveness on the basis of an atoning sacrifice, the blood of a lamb applied to the guilt of his sin:

Psalm 51:7 “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”

Third, he prayed for God’s ongoing work of sanctification in his life:

Psalm 51:10–12“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

One thing to note though is that even though through repentance and faith in Christ, we can be forgiven of all our sin. . . we must understand that our choices and sin still have consequences that we will have to live with in our lives.

David had consequences

Moses had consequences

I have to live with my consequences.

Three different responses:

If you and have fallen or are currently living in sexual sin.

Follow the example of David. . .

If you are toying with sexual temptation and playing with fire in your relationships and the things you look at and listen to. . . flee sexual immorality.

If you have not trusted in Jesus as your Lord and Savior. . .

Repent and Believe.

Let’s Pray