Sermon Tone Analysis

! Introduction:

Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her (Genesis 24:67).

/The measure of my love for Kristi is not seen only in gifts or words, but in acts of sacrifice and concern for her happiness and welfare./

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/A happy marriage is not going to come automatically; it is something that I must work at all the time.

As we walk with Christ in submission to Him, we will have no problems submitting to one another & seeking to serve one another.

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/ But where there is selfishness, there will be conflict & division.

If there is bitterness in the heart there will eventually be trouble in the home./

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/Where do we get the power to love and submit?

From the Lord.

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/If we are wearing the “graceclothes” described in (Col.3:5-14), and if we have our heats filled with the peace of Christ and the Word of Christ, then we will contribute to the joy and harmony of the home./

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/If we live to please Christ first, others second, and ourselves last, we will build strong marriages and spiritual homes.

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I.

The Husbands Role

 

A.

My Duty Towards Being a Husband

 

1.

I must not be bitter towards Her.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them

(Colossians 3:19)

 

a)         a selfless and unselfish love.

b)        a giving and sacrificial love.

c)         a love of the will as well as of the heart.

d)        a love of commitment as well as of affection.

e)         a love that works for the highest good of the wife.

Very practically, I am not seek to have Kristi fill my needs, desires, comfort, and interests; but I seek to meet, nurture, and nourish all these for Kristi.

It is God’s will for me to totally sacrifice myself for Kristi.

And note: I am to do it without bitterness.

a)         Never harbor an ill will toward Kristi for something she did or did not do.

b)        A “root of bitterness” in my heart can poison my relationship with Kristi & give Satan a foothold

 

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

(Ephesians 4:31 NKJV)

Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 NKJV)

 

Be open & Honest with her.

a)         Speaking the truth in love (Eph.4:15) is a good way to solve family differences.

·                  love without truth is hypocrisy.

·                  truth without love is brutality.

b)        Always be open & honest with her, never hiding my feelings or lying to her.

c)         Never go to bed angry with her (Eph.4:26)

Never behave harshly or throw my weight around.

Love suffers long /and/ is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NKJV)

 

2.

I must respect her.

Husbands, likewise, dwell with /them/ with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as /being/ heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered(1 Peter 3:7)

 

Physical—/“ dwell with her”/

a)         I must make time to be home with Kristi.

b)        I must provide for the material & physical needs

Intellectual—/“with understanding”/

a)         Matthew Henry states it in a simple and pointed way:

                    /“[Husbands are to dwell] with the wife according to knowledge; not according to lust, as brutes; nor according to passion, as devils; but according to knowledge, as wise and sober men, who know the word of God and their own duty” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary,/ Vol.6, p.1023.)

 

a)         I must “know” Kristi’s-moods, feeling, fears, and hopes.

b)        Listen to Kristi with my heart & share meaningful communication with her—Give her my full attention when she is talking.

d)        To show consideration to Kristi, I must understand her needs and problems.

·                  To say, “I never knew you felt that way Kristi”, is to say I don’t know Kristi as well as I should have.

·                  I must be building bridges not walls.

Emotionally—/“giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel”/

a)         Be the “knight in shining armor” that treats Kristi like a princess.

b)        Treat her like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure.

c)         Highly esteem her, setting her upon a pedestal before my eyes.

d)        Never take Kristi for granted—do a lot of little things for Kristi—take down the laundry for her—This will make her happy.

/Giving honor//—/means to value; to esteem; to prize; to count as precious.

I should:

v  respect Kristi’s feelings, thoughts and desires

v  protect her, be the primary provider.

v  take the lead, oversee the family and its welfare.

v  be the driving force, plow the way.

v  be the initiator.

/I am to honor Kristi by lovingly and tenderly taking care of her.

I am to look after and care for her with warmth and tenderness, treating her in the most precious of spirits and esteeming her ever so highly./

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/In doing these things, I myself will grow and help my children to live in a home that honors God./

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Spiritual—/“being heirs together that your prayers may not be hindered” /

   

    Note this point: in God’s eyes men and women are joint or equal heirs.

I am not above nor Kristi above me.

God has no favorites.

Spiritual gifts and rights are given equally to wives and husbands.

1.

I am to honor Kristi as being equal in life.

Life is a grace; it is an undeserved gift of God.

2.    Therefore in life, I am to treat Kristi as an equal.

3.    I am not to be a tyrant, not to dominate and enslave her to serve and to meet my needs and wants.

4.    I am to be understanding, loving, gentle, and considerate.

5.    I am to honor her as a fellow heir of life, of the wonderful grace and gift of life that God has given us all.

In the Song of Solomon, the wife say’s of her husband,/ “//This is my beloved, and this is my friend”/ (5:16).

v God will not answer my prayers if I dishonor her, no matter how much I profess to know Christ.

v I need to love Kristi, not for what she can do for me, but of what I can do for her

 

/For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs----heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

(Romans 8:15-17 NKJV)/

/ /

/For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

(Galatians 3:27-29 NKJV)/

/ /

/That having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

(Titus 3:7 NKJV)/

 

 

 

    Failure to honor Kristi hinders my prayers.

v God will not answer my prayers if I dishonor her, no matter how much I profess to know Christ.

v What God does hear is her sighs, not my prayers if I am mean and domineering to her.

v I can cry out to God all I want, but God’s back is turned away from me and toward the sigh of Kristi.

v God is going to hear her broken and contrite heart, not the prayers of my arrogant and dominating spirit.

v Both Kristi and I must love one another and live as God says to live, both fulfilling our duties to one another, if we want God to answer our prayers.

/But we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word (Acts 6:4 NKJV)./

Questions to Consider

v  Am I being a partner or a competitor?

v  Am I helping Kristi to become more spiritual?