Connect Authentically
Notes
Transcript
Interview of Jessica Myers
Introduce Jessica Myers
served as an intern from January until now.
school year—you came 2 hours a day during the school day as part of a class you got credit for (January until May)
and then in the summer, we had her here full-time.
Tell us some of the things you did
—VBS crew leader
—went to Camp Blast with Kate for a week as a student counselor with 4th and 5th graders
—worked with our Connections Pastor Baer—going to Maytown Kentucky for a mission trip, helping with Brianna’s Hope on Thursdays
—helping our office staff
—meeting with Mike Wilson and myself to plan worship services...
What have you learned in your internship?
How have you been challenged in your internships?
what are your future plans?
How can we pray for you?
please turn to Matthew 22:37-40.
we are in a series called Basics.
looking at our values as a church.
The one we are going to look at today is Connect.
our sheet says “Connecting authentically”
experiencing God’s love through cultivating healthy relationships...
this is a pretty amazing and remarkable value...
Notice—very basically
it’s not surface level connection—we want authentic, transparent connection. no masks, no costumes—real selves. that’s a high value we have today—and I think Scripture has. in fact, I have a picture to show authenticity...
Swiss Days--
I was making a very authentic face in this picture.
I actually remember from last year—Paul Yoder who took this photo—bless his soul—got a very transparent and authentic photo in 2022, and I was nearing the finish line, I was thinking, “make a good face, make a good face, Paul Yoder is watching...”
but he got me anyway
that face is authentic of the true feelings of pain I had at the moment.
and that’s the kind of connection we want — can we be ourselves around others—can we have an authentic connection—happiness, and joy but also pain.
the other—notice the goal—to experience God’s love. even though there is some value in connecting with others for connections sake—the ultimate goal is to experience God’s love. it is to glorify God. there is a God-centered component in our connection—that I also believe really enables us to connect. and that leads back to worship.
and another piece is this idea of healthy relationships
and I want to read a couple passages that will help us:
37 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
38 This is the first and greatest commandment.
39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
so Love God
and love others—love your neighbor as yourself. that’s connection
1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
The Bible uses the image of the body to describe the kind of connectedness we are to have—Jesus is the head—and we are the body—we need each other…to the point where Paul says...
1 Corinthians 12:26 (NIV)
26 If one part (of the body) suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part (of the body) is honored, every part rejoices with it.
do we have that level of connection?
connecting authentically...
to experience God’s love...
healthy relationships...
how many of you long for this in your life?
and yet how many of you struggle with this?
I want to invite Megan Wilson on the platform with me...
while she is coming up...
over a week ago, some of our staff and board had the chance to watch a leadership conference together…and one of the speakers focused on loneliness as her teaching.
she referenced the US Surgeon General—who released an 80 plus page report in May on an epidemic of loneliness—that social disconnection is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
58% of Americans say they feel lonely…and this has especially hit those who are younger ages 15-24.
70% of leaders say they feel lonely—it’s lonely at the top.
loneliness increases the risk of premature death by nearly 30%—the report revealed that you had a greater risk of stroke and heart disease. isolation increases the likelihood of depression, anxiety and dementia.
technology has made it worse---one study cited showed that people who use social media for 2 hours or more daily are more than twice as likely to report feeling socially isolated vs. those who only used them 30 minutes a day or less.
so in other words—this value of authentic connection—is not just Biblical—it may actually help save your life.
I asked Megan Wilson if she would help me with a short interview
Interview of Megan Wilson
Tell us who you are and who your family is, where you and Brendan work, where you are from. How long has you been part of this church?
Tell us who you are and who your family is, where you and Brendan work, where you are from. How long has you been part of this church? what does authentic connection look like for you guys? In other words what is the vision or goal for this....what would it look like for you in practical terms?
What challenges have you faced when it comes to connecting authentically with others (busy schedules, young family, not from here)
I know you have been intentional in seeking connection out. How have you pursued this? (helping with women’s ministry, you initiated a women’s Bible Study, hosting people and meals in your home.) What advice and encouragement would you have for us so that we would grow in connecting authentically?
anything else you want us to know?
Challenges for us to connect: (turn to your neighbor)...
Busy…dare I say “frantic.” I feel that at times, especially since the Covid season. There are so many great things to be a part of. If you have children, you can put them in all sorts of thing sports, music, dance, from a younger age, traveling circus groups, underwater yodeling competitions....it’s remarkable. some of that is good—i know my wife and I had that conversation with our kids as we were gearing up for the fall—how busy should we be? what can we afford $ and timewise? what’s wise? we still want to prioritize eating together as much as possible and seeing each other.
I notice this too when I talk with people in our foyer after church about busyness and observe trends....—it used to be a regular attender at our church was probably here almost every Sunday…and then most of us probably miss at least one Sunday a month, and I think most churches would consider regular attenders if you are here 2x per month!
and if you have kids—Sunday morning—seems like the only day they will sleep in and you can sleep in—so why bother with connecting with church?
Fear - what will people think of me?
it is scary to put yourself out there...
if someone doesn’t know me, but rejects me—oh well. They didn’t know me.
but if someone knows me—and rejects me, that is downright painful. this is true in all our relationships—if a boss or co-worker rejects me that I have worked with for a while, it is painful. If I have a friend, especially close friend, who rejects me, oh many that hurts. If my spouse rejects me and divorces me, even more. it is scary to be known—especially when you start revealing the deep waters of the heart—our fears, our insecurities, our struggles and addictions…what will people think of me?
but true intimacy and connection comes with some transparency and vulnerability...
Hurt—some of us have been wounded—haven’t had those healthy relationships in our family of origins or with friends; we may have been hurt by leaders at a church or people at a church—it is scary to try and connect again.
Technology…in some ways we are more connected than every before. Technology has made that possible…with social media and zoom meetings, but yet ironically more disconnected. B/c those tools as great as they are (better than nothing) are not true connection. we need facetime—not the Apple app—but true face to face time.
Lack of initiative — (we want others to take the first step)
What do we do about this:
Take the initiative…in an ideal world...we all want people to reach out to us…we are all waiting for people to be the friend we want…but if everyone is waiting for someone to reach out to them, then it just makes sense that no one will reach out to anyone. but if all of us have a pro-active approach to reaching out to someone. now it is scary, you are putting yourself out there…it may not be reciprocated (Megan Wilson talked about)....but I think about Jesus—how He initiated connection with us…I mentioned something like this to my son once…I said something like “Jesus did so and so...” and Caleb said “good for Jesus!” but Jesus did take the initiative with us—He came down from heaven to earth—he began authentic connection with us.
Remember—it takes time. Liz Bohanan...
about 90 hours to go from a stranger to acquaintance to friend
another 110 hours for that person to become an intimate friend whom you would call on for help
200 hours—where will I find it?
Liz says:
130 hours to get in shape (and lots more to at least maintain it) (so i I work out an hour a day—that’s about 4 months of working out an hour a day)
4300 hours to get a bachelor’s degree (about 4 years of work—fall and spring semesters)
average founder of a business takes them 8600 hours just to get their business to break even (If you work 60 hours a week—that’s a little less than 3 years of effort)
Adam Stout and Lee Johnson talked about some of these stats…and the goal is not to try to add something, but to look at the relationships and circles you have right now—at work, at church, with your bleacher family crew as you watch middle school football…and how can you maximize those...
pay attention to our announcements...
look at this list…we currently have for connection…and when I hear these—let me reframe these—these are more than just good events. These may be on the level of importance of life and death.
Willa K.’s widow ministry—lost her husband several years back; now she organizes regular gatherings of other widows—it is a support. This is a lifeline for widows who are trying to figure out what this season of life looks like.
The LifeGroup for those 55 and over—55 and over—those trips are not just about having a good time—but fostering connection.
I think of our Sunday morning groups—called Sunday School. The goal of these I would argue is not primarily information or even Bible teaching. Those are important—but connection. connection that spans beyond a Sunday morning. for instance, I know several of those classes regularly send prayer requests and alerts throughout the week. one class recently organized an offering of gift cards and gas cards for a family in need. some of our classes get together for outings—cookouts, social events. those are important—try one. If one is not working, try another, but don’t just go once—commit to going for 6 months and then evaluate. I have brochures....
or we have Wednesday night Ripples coming up soon--
Dave Heckard will be leading a Financial Peace University group again—that can become a band of brothers and sisters around a common goal of using our resources wisely
Kim Baer will be leading a group around how to Bear with one another…I love a good pun. Great job Kim...
I will be leading a group on how to read and apply the Book of Acts
but even these—are meant to be a springboard for further connection with others. true connection often happens outside the walls of this church…during the week, for coffee, meals, desserts....
Look at this intimacy wants for us:
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.
13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.
16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.
17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?
18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
19 If they were all one part, where would the body be?
20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”
22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,
23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,
24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it,
25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.
26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Jesus the head of the body enables this to happen—as we keep our eyes on Him—he enables authentic connection.
Think of the intimacy that Jesus showed with his disciples in His life.
He invested about 3 years worth of time in the 12 disciples
and then from the 12—he had 3 he invested in even more intimately—Peter, James, and John
and then there was the 1 disciple that Jesus loved—John.
he showed that life...
Think of Jesus---and our relationship. We want to be known and loved.
if you are known and not loved—that’s rejection.
If you are loved and not known—it’s not true authentic relationships.
yet Jesus knows us to the core—he knows all of our struggles, our sin, our insecurities, our guilt and shame, and yet loved us so much—He gave his life for us—he lived the life we failed to live, he died the death we deserve on the cross in our place for our sins so we could be made right with God, forgiven, set free, renewed.
if we know that the Creator of the Universe loves us despite us, that frees us to truly be in community with others. our identity is in Him—then we are secure enough to share our vulnerabilities and weakness, and also loved enough to help others share theirs.
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