Family Disgrace (Part 2)

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Introduction

Today we are continuing our study in the book of 2 Samuel. This is part 2 of our message from last week. Let me remind you of the highlights of our story last week.
David’s oldest son Amnon had a lustful crush on his 1/2 sister Tamar.
He finagled a way to get her alone and then raped her.
He then “hated her” more than he had lusted after her, and threw her out of his house.
David heard about his actions, but did nothing about it.
So after a while Tamer’s full-brother, Absalom, avenged her by killing Amnon.
Absalom then fled and we left him last week at the home of King Talmai, where he stayed for three years.
Our passage today is found in 2 Samuel 14. If you have your Bibles, I want to encourage you to turn with me there, and we’ll begin reading with verse 1.
2 Samuel 14:1 NIV
Joab son of Zeruiah knew that the king’s heart longed for Absalom.

Joab Has a Plan

Being close to the king, Joab realized that David had really lost two sons. One to death, the other to “exile.”
So he comes up with a plan.
2 Samuel 14:2 NIV
So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, “Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don’t use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead.
Joab sent a “someone” to Tekoa—a town about 10 miles south of Jerusalem, so it was just fare enough that David would not know the woman he sent for.
She is called a “wise” woman. Some believe this word “wise” could be used of an “actress,” or it could be used of someone who is cleaver, skillful, or shrewd.
Joab gives her a detailed plan:
—Pretend you are in mourning.
—Dress in mourning clothes.
—Do use any cosmetics, so you look like you are mourning.
—Act like someone who has spent a lot of time grieving for the dead.
Now he continues spinning the story.
2 Samuel 14:3 NIV
Then go to the king and speak these words to him.” And Joab put the words in her mouth.
—She is to go to the king and spin the story that Joab gave her.
2 Samuel 14:4–5 NIV
When the woman from Tekoa went to the king, she fell with her face to the ground to pay him honor, and she said, “Help me, Your Majesty!” The king asked her, “What is troubling you?” She said, “I am a widow; my husband is dead.
She does indeed go to King David.
She fell with her face to the ground to honor the king.
Then she pleads for him to help her!
The king asks her how he can help.
She tells the king that she is a widow—her husband is dead.
2 Samuel 14:6 NIV
I your servant had two sons. They got into a fight with each other in the field, and no one was there to separate them. One struck the other and killed him.
She tells him that she had 2 sons.
They got into a fight out in the field.
The fight was so bad that no one could stop the fight.
One of her sons killed the other son.
2 Samuel 14:7 NIV
Now the whole clan has risen up against your servant; they say, ‘Hand over the one who struck his brother down, so that we may put him to death for the life of his brother whom he killed; then we will get rid of the heir as well.’ They would put out the only burning coal I have left, leaving my husband neither name nor descendant on the face of the earth.”
After the “murder” took place, the whole clan raised up against the woman.
They demanded that she hand over her remaining son.
They wanted him, so they kill him.
That would leave her without a son, and it would leave her without an heir as well.
These “family members” would put out the last remaining “burning coal” leaving her husband without a descendant—and leaving her without a son!

David’s Response

2 Samuel 14:8 NIV
The king said to the woman, “Go home, and I will issue an order in your behalf.”
The king tells her, that she can go home, because he will issue an order on her behalf—the order would keep anyone from killing her son!

The Woman’s Second Request

2 Samuel 14:9 NIV
But the woman from Tekoa said to him, “Let my lord the king pardon me and my family, and let the king and his throne be without guilt.”
She ask David to issue a full pardon for her (in protecting her son).
And a full pardon for her family (her son’s murder charge).
She says that she’ll take the blame if anyone were to blame the king.

David’s Response

2 Samuel 14:10 NIV
The king replied, “If anyone says anything to you, bring them to me, and they will not bother you again.”
If anyone bothers you—bring them to me! And they won’t bother you any more!
She continues to plead with the king.
2 Samuel 14:11 NIV
She said, “Then let the king invoke the Lord his God to prevent the avenger of blood from adding to the destruction, so that my son will not be destroyed.” “As surely as the Lord lives,” he said, “not one hair of your son’s head will fall to the ground.”
She asks the king to swear by the Yahweh—David’s God—that David won’t let anyone avenge the blood of her dead son, by destroying the living one.
She really wants no more bloodshed.
And David swears by Yahweh that no one will harm a hair on the head of her living son!
But the woman isn’t finished yet with her story.
2 Samuel 14:12 NIV
Then the woman said, “Let your servant speak a word to my lord the king.” “Speak,” he replied.
Now she ask David if she can speak freely.
And David gives her permission.
So now she is going to reveal the meaning of her little “parable.”

The Meaning of Her Story

2 Samuel 14:13 NIV
The woman said, “Why then have you devised a thing like this against the people of God? When the king says this, does he not convict himself, for the king has not brought back his banished son?
She wants to know why the king has devised something like this against the people of Israel?
She says that the king actually convicts himself because he has not brought Absalom—his banished son—back from Geshur.
2 Samuel 14:14 NIV
Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.
She continues—we are all being poured out like water on the ground.
That water can’t be put back into the cup—we can all end up estranged from God
But God’s desire for us. He devises a way for the banished person to be reunited with Himself.
2 Samuel 14:15 NIV
“And now I have come to say this to my lord the king because the people have made me afraid. Your servant thought, ‘I will speak to the king; perhaps he will grant his servant’s request.
She came to plead her case with the king, because the threats others made.
She thought, “Maybe the king will grant my (his servant) request.
2 Samuel 14:16 NIV
Perhaps the king will agree to deliver his servant from the hand of the man who is trying to cut off both me and my son from God’s inheritance.’
Her request is to be delivered from the people who are tying to destroy her (kill her) and those who are trying to kill her son.
If they did that they would cut off both of them from God’s inheritance.
2 Samuel 14:17 NIV
“And now your servant says, ‘May the word of my lord the king secure my inheritance, for my lord the king is like an angel of God in discerning good and evil. May the Lord your God be with you.’ ”
Now the king has given his servant (the woman) a sense of security that her inheritance (her son) will be safe.
She says she sees David as an angel of God—because he is discerning—discerning good and evil.
She then asks that Yahweh, David’s God will be with them.
2 Samuel 14:18 NIV
Then the king said to the woman, “Don’t keep from me the answer to what I am going to ask you.” “Let my lord the king speak,” the woman said.
David is figuring things out. This was not a plan that the woman of Tekoa came up with by herself.
David asks the woman not to lie to him! But answer him truthfully.
The woman tells David to ask away.
2 Samuel 14:19 NIV
The king asked, “Isn’t the hand of Joab with you in all this?” The woman answered, “As surely as you live, my lord the king, no one can turn to the right or to the left from anything my lord the king says. Yes, it was your servant Joab who instructed me to do this and who put all these words into the mouth of your servant.
David asks— “Did Joab put you up to this?
The woman responds— “Nothing escapes David’s view!” And yes, Joab told her what to do and what to say!
2 Samuel 14:20 NIV
Your servant Joab did this to change the present situation. My lord has wisdom like that of an angel of God—he knows everything that happens in the land.”
She continues to say, that Joab did this to change David’s current situation.
David really does know everything that goes on in Israel.

King Talks to Joab

2 Samuel 14:21 NIV
The king said to Joab, “Very well, I will do it. Go, bring back the young man Absalom.”
The king turns to Joab and says, “Very well! I’ll do it.”
“Bring Absalom home.”
2 Samuel 14:22 NIV
Joab fell with his face to the ground to pay him honor, and he blessed the king. Joab said, “Today your servant knows that he has found favor in your eyes, my lord the king, because the king has granted his servant’s request.”
Joab feels blessed that the king has listened to him (or rather to his plan!)
He knows that he has found favor with David, because David has granted his request.
2 Samuel 14:23 NIV
Then Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem.
So Joab went and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. However, the is a great big “BUT” in Absalom’s return. Look at verse 24.
2 Samuel 14:24 NIV
But the king said, “He must go to his own house; he must not see my face.” So Absalom went to his own house and did not see the face of the king.
Absalom must go to his home.
And Absalom must not see the king’s face.
So that is exactly what happened! He went to his home, and did not see his father.
Now we are given some of the background story about Absalom in verse 25.
2 Samuel 14:25–27 NIV
In all Israel there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the top of his head to the sole of his foot there was no blemish in him. Whenever he cut the hair of his head—he used to cut his hair once a year because it became too heavy for him—he would weigh it, and its weight was two hundred shekels by the royal standard. Three sons and a daughter were born to Absalom. His daughter’s name was Tamar, and she became a beautiful woman.
He was super handsome—more handsome than anyone else in Israel.
He was spotless—he had no blemish.
He cut his hair once a year—because it became to heave for him.
When it was cut, it would weigh 200 shekels—or about 5 pounds!
He had three sons and one daughter. but the only his daughter is named here—and she is named after his sister, Tamar.
And we are told that Tamar became a beautiful woman!

The Next Drama!

2 Samuel 14:28 NIV
Absalom lived two years in Jerusalem without seeing the king’s face.
Absalom lived in Jerusalem for two years without ever talking to David.
2 Samuel 14:29 NIV
Then Absalom sent for Joab in order to send him to the king, but Joab refused to come to him. So he sent a second time, but he refused to come.
Absalom sends word to Joab that he wants to see the king. But Joab refused to some to him.
So Absalom sent for Joab a second time, but again he refused to come.
So now Absalom is in a tough spot. He has lost his only access to his father, King David! So he gets a alittle more drastic.
2 Samuel 14:30 NIV
Then he said to his servants, “Look, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there. Go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.
Absalom tells his servants to go set fire to Joab’s field that borders Absalom’s property.
And they do as ordered.
2 Samuel 14:31 NIV
Then Joab did go to Absalom’s house, and he said to him, “Why have your servants set my field on fire?”
As you might guess, Joab is angry!
He demands to know why Absalom’s servants set fire to his field of barley.
2 Samuel 14:32 NIV
Absalom said to Joab, “Look, I sent word to you and said, ‘Come here so I can send you to the king to ask, “Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me if I were still there!” ’ Now then, I want to see the king’s face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death.”
Absalom responds—Two different times I sent for you, but you refused to come.
Absalom wants to know why he was brought back from Geshur—since he can’t see his father, the king.
Absalom says he was better off in Geshur.
He wants to see the king’s face—or to put it another way, he wants to have a face-to-face sit down with the king!
He says, “If I am guilty of any offense, then let the king put me to death!
2 Samuel 14:33 NIV
So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.
So Joab tells David what Absalom said.
And David summoned Absalom to the palace for a meeting.
And the king kissed Absalom—because he was glad to see him! Dad and son reunited!

So What?

The biggest thing that we learn from this story is that God does not give up on us. He is the God of restoration.
We need to remember that our ability to experience a relationship with God is all about Him. Paul says it this way,
Romans 5:7–8 NIV
Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
These two verse remind us that we CANNOT do anything to make ourselves acceptable to God. It is God who made a way for us to approach Him.
There is something that we need to do—and that is that we need to come near to Him.
James 4:8 NIV
Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
Some will ask how do we “purify” our hearts, or how do we “wash” our hands? Well verse 7 tells us how to move near to God.
James 4:7 NIV
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
We can come near to God when we submit our lives to Him. Part of submitting to God involves resisting the devil.
We submit to God because we love Him with everything we are! Deuteronomy 6 5 is called the Shema, which means “hear,” from verse 4.
Deuteronomy 6:4–5 NIV
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
For the Jew, the heart was the center of their being. The soul was the part of the person that would last forever. And their strength was their physical ability to work and live. So they were to love the Lord with every aspect of their lives. We too are to love the Lord with the totality of our being!
Finally, we are to meditate—or think about all day long—on God’s Word. Right as the children of Israel were about to enter the Promise Land, God told Joshua,
Joshua 1:8–9 NIV
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
God wasn’t going to give Joshua any more revelations. Instead, he was to meditate day and night on all that God had given to Moses—he was to meditate on is all the time so that he would be careful to do everything written in it!
As we live our lives doing everything written in God’s Word, we’re told to be strong and courageous. We are told not to be afraid. And we’re told to not be discouraged. We’re told all these things because the Lord our God is with us wherever we go.
It’s all about God—He’s the one that demonstrated His love for us. Then because of that magnificent love we want to be close to Him—so we come near. When we come near to him, we learn to submit ourselves to God—and as we submit to God we must resist the devil!
But ultimately because our God is the God of restoration and loved us so much that He was willing to send His son to restore our relationship with Him, we turn around and love Him, submit to Him, and trust in Him.
How are you showing God that you love Him?
Do you need to trust Him more?
Do you need to submit to Him more?
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