Sermon Tone Analysis

*Intro*

Peter is continuing his mini-theme of submission.

He started by saying submit to the government or human authority in 1 Pet.

2:13-17, then submit at the workplace in 1 Pet.

2:18-20, following Jesus as the supreme and ultimate example of submission (1 Pet.

2:21-25) and now submission of wives in marriage.

This is a touchy and controversial topic and usually it is because people are more concerned about themselves and their rights than advancing the kingdom of God or making the name of Christ look great.

But if we come into this text with the mentality of what does it mean to be an ambassador for Christ in my marriage, we might start to see things God’s way.

Now before you singles and husbands tune off here for this message, though you may not feel the direct impact of these verses today, everyone here either knows a wife they can pray these things for or hopes to be a wife or hopes to find a wife that follows the Scriptures.

Let’s begin with a brief look at the cultural context here.

Notice that Peter mentions unbelieving husbands in 1 Pet.

3:1.

So we get a clue that Peter is addressing wives, especially those who were unbelievers, got saved and then now had to live with an unbelieving husband.

If you were a woman and you got married in that day, you would follow your husband’s religion.[1]

No questions asked.

In fact William Barclay notes, “In every sphere of ancient civilization, women had no rights at all.

Under Jewish law a woman was a thing; she was owned by her husband in exactly the same way as he owned his sheep and his goats; on no account could she leave him, although he could dismiss her at any moment.

For a wife to change her religion while her husband did not was unthinkable.”[2]

So Peter is doing something revolutionary for that culture.

He is not only supporting the wives’ decision to turn to Christ for salvation, he is also encouraging them to turn their husbands to Christ as well.

How he sees them doing this is what he wants to address.

We also get a clue from this phrase “not a word” in 1 Pet.

3:1 that these wives had been certainly trying “to explain their new faith to them and some husbands probably would have visited their wives’ church to see what was going on.

Since these men had not accepted the gospel, they were likely discouraging their wives’ dedication to Christ and attendance at Christian activities, especially when they discovered that the women no longer accepted their household religion.”[3]

So what should these wives do?

Obviously Peter does not suggest that these women stop their Christian activities, yet he does not see them leaving or using their freedom in Christ in disrespecting and disregarding their husbands either.

But he is at the same time addressing all wives as well.

And as the wife realizes she is an ambassador of Christ as her Lord and Savior, she can effectively do and be all that God asks her to do and be.

I want to first preface this message by saying that it is never God’s will that a believer marries an unbeliever.

Never.

Can God redeem a marriage between a believer and unbeliever?

Absolutely.

Is it guaranteed?

No.

I don’t think Peter would say here that the godly behavior of the believing wife guarantees that her husband will be saved.

Peter’s point is that the wife needs to be a help and not a hindrance to bring him to saving faith.

Let me tell you that I have seen a lot more unequally yoked marriages take the believing spouse downward spiritually than the other way. 2 Cor.

6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

Some would argue that Paul is not talking about marriage there, but business partnerships.

I would disagree, but here is another passage: 1 Cor.

7:39.

Marriage is for oneness (physically, emotionally and spiritually).

God wanted us to experience what we experience with Him once we are believers through the picture of marriage.

It is horrible to sabotage that gift by letting our emotions and pressure from people cause us to marry outside of God’s will.

With that said, I want to outline this message very simply by saying what submission *IS NOT* in marriage and then by what submission *IS* in marriage from 1 Pet.

3:1-6.

So first: 

*I.

**What submission is NOT in marriage:*

a)    Inferiority

The same word is used of Christ submitting to God in 1 Cor.

15:27-28 and obviously Jesus Christ is in no way inferior to God.

Paul just said in Col. 3:11 that the ground is level at the cross.

In Gal.

3:28, Paul says in regards to salvation, we are all one in Christ Jesus, whether male or female.

The issue is not worth, but order.

b)   Absolute

Wives should never submit to anything that violates God’s Word.

When it comes to something contrary to God’s Word, we must obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29).

And if the husband is abusive physically, separation is encouraged.

c)   General

Ephesians 5:22 makes it clear that the submission is only to their own husbands and not other men.

Notice here in 1 Peter 3:1: “Wives, be submissive to YOUR OWN husbands.”

We should submit to governmental authority, our employees and elders in the church (1 Pet.

5:5) as well, but when it comes to marriage, it is wives, to their husbands and not to all men in general.

d)   Suppression

It does not mean sitting quietly around your house, making no eye contact, head down, only talking when asked and going about doing your duties, without any opinions or thoughts.

When you read Proverbs 31, you don’t find that.

You find a woman with a lot of creative energy, with a lot of spunk and someone who is industrious.

The Bible does not say only introverts are truly submissive.

A woman can be an extrovert and yet submissive.

Just as much as an introverted husband can lead a family as much as an extroverted husband.

We will talk about what it means to have a “gentle and quiet spirit” in 1 Pet.

3:4.

e)    Silence

It does not mean you never criticize your husband.

In fact, constructive criticism that is motivated by love and corrective in nature does not contradict biblical submission.

It does not mean you cannot make any requests of him.

It does not mean you cannot teach your husband (Prov.

31:26; Acts 18:26).

I have learned a lot of things from my wife!

*II.

**What submission IS in marriage (1 Pet.

3:1-6)*

/a)  //Persuading with your walk over talk (1 Pet.

3:1-2)/

Peter has been highlighting lifestyle evangelism as ambassadors.

Look back at 1 Pet.

2:12.

Go down to 1 Pet.

2:15, again “doing good.”

Notice even in talking about Jesus: “He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.”

His walk mentioned before His talk.

So “likewise” Peter says, wives be submissive with your conduct more than your words.

Again, submission means to “willingly place yourself under another.”

I like what Barclay says, it is “voluntary selflessness.

It is the submission which is based on the death of pride and the desire to serve.

It is the submission not of fear but of perfect love.”[4]The

tense here is “Submit yourselves.”

In other words, it is a choice from the wife to the husband.

Submission is never to be demanded from the husband.

And it does not come naturally as we learned last week.

It is a supernatural act fueled by the wife for the purposes of fearing God and being part of His plan to advance the gospel.

Notice Peter went to the cross as the basis and motivation for us in our walk.

It is true as well to be a submissive ambassador in marriage.

Peter is not saying never preach the gospel.

Paul says, “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God” (Rom.