Obligations of the People of God: Submission and Honor in the Household

Andrew Slay

Hope As Exiles: 1 Peter Series • Sermon • Submitted a year ago • Presented a year ago

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Introduction

Continuing to address the household code, Peter calls believing wives to submit to their unbelieving husbands in the same way he calls believers to submit to unbelieving governing authorities and unbelieving masters or authority figures who may mistreat them.

Peter, once more does not want Christianity to be a stumbling block for unbelieving Gentiles through the complete upheaval of the cultural household code, but like slavery, Peter redefines how husbands and wives should treat one another compared to the norm in Greco-Roman Culture.

Also similarly to the two previous sections, this submission, reverence and fear of God that produces holy living will cause their unbelieving spouse, who rejects the word of God, to be won for Christ through the submission of their wife.

The question Peter addresses to us tonight is, what are we clothing ourselves with to win people for Jesus and glorify God? The external and perishable things of this world or the internal and imperishable qualities of submission and love?

Tonight, God will show us through 1 Peter 3:1-7 that his ways are best and we should adorn ourselves with submission and love in the specific but equal roles God has called us to as male and female.

Wives Be Subject To Your Own Husbands (vs 1-6)

1 Peter 3:1-2 “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

Peter begins with “likewise” and says that just as slaves should be subject to their masters out of fear and love for the Lord, believing wives are called to submit to their husbands out of fear, love, and submission to the Lord.

Notice the command is for wives to submit to their “own husbands” not just any male. The Bible does not command women to submit to all men in general but for wives to submit to their own husbands.

This submission is also voluntary and is the wife’s responsibility. Peter, nor any other New Testament author commands husbands to ensure or force their wives submission to them.

Peter continues to address the persons who normally had less power in that society since the Christians he was writing to were seen as less in society.

After the call for wives to submit to their husbands, he provides the reason for this submission, so that they would win their husbands for Jesus and ultimately glorify God.

The reason why this command was so radical was because he was calling believing wives to be submissive to their unbelieving husbands.

This is a situation that has come up in his audience as two Gentile unbelievers got married and after marriage, the wife came to faith in Jesus. This is the person Peter is directly speaking to.

This connects back to Peter’s call to submit to emperors and those in authority positions who are not Christians.

Peter says that even though these husbands have rejected the gospel, they can be won without a word from the submissive conduct of their wives.

Specifically, husbands will be won to Jesus by their wives submission when it is displayed in “respectful and pure conduct.”

Once more as the previous sections did, Peter uses the word for fear, which is translated as “respectful” to point back to the truth that the wife should submit to her husband out of fear and love for the Lord.

This is a word that we need to hear today, for we often try to force conversations and arguments, thinking we will win unbelievers to Jesus by convincing them of the truths of Christianity.

Even though we are commanded and must verbally proclaim the gospel, Peter’s command to wives is an example for the Church to know that sometimes, once someone knows we are a follower of Jesus, our gracious and loving actions towards them can be a stronger testimony that God may use to draw them to himself than our words.

One detail to mention about a wife’s submission in this context is that Peter does set limits on submission. Peter called these Christian wives to be socially radical in not submitting to the religion of their husbands. Even if it causes their husband displeasure, they should continue to be part of the church of Jesus Christ.

The same principle can be applied today, for wives should not submit to their husbands if they ask them to do something that would be sin before God…just as citizens should not submit to government if it would mean breaking God’s law.

After the general call and reason for wives to submit to their husbands, Peter explains in detail what this submission should look like...

1 Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

Essentially, Peter says submissive conduct should not be characterized by external qualities that perish, but internal qualities that are imperishable.

Peter was calling wives not to adorn themselves extravagantly in lavish hairstyles and expensive jewelry and clothes because these things are not what would win their husband’s hearts to Jesus and these things are not what is pleasing in God’s sight.

Those that dressed in this way would attract a man’s eyes to the woman, instead of the God that she served and obeyed.

This idea was common in Greco-Roman culture, as many philosophers wrote against adorning oneself with expensive Jewels and clothing, for this was often seen as an instrument of seduction and done to deceive others.

Paul brought up this same principle in 1 Timothy 2:9, instructing the women in the church to dress modestly in self-control.

It should be noted that this is not talking about not caring or wearing any nice clothes or jewelry AT ALL but rather in excess, especially if you are doing it to seek to attention from others. Peter is not restricting these things in themselves, but insisting that they do not constitute true beauty in the sight of God.

There was essentially a competition developing on who had the best hair styles and nicest clothes in the church and this was distracting attention from God as the focus of worship and putting it on the woman instead.

Instead of trusting in one’s outer appearance to win their husbands for Jesus and glorify God, Peter calls wives to adorn themselves with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit of the heart.

This inward adorning will cause their husbands not to focus on them but focus on Christ who has transformed the heart of their wives.

A gentle and quiet spirit was a prime virtue for women in the 1st century and was praised over dressing extravagantly.

But what does a gentle and quiet spirit look like?

Gentle communicates humility

Quiet communicates well-ordered and tranquil...at peace.

Peter also says this inner beauty was imperishable, which shows the eternal quality and nature compared to external things that would fade away.

The motivating factor for wives to do this, harking back to verse 2 in fearing God, is to please God.

God sees when wives are submissive to their husbands with a gentle and quiet spirit and will honor them for this submissive conduct.

Precious communicates something that is valuable…something that is expensive and very costly.

God sees this submissive character and appraises it like a choice and rare diamond to be of an extremely high value.

God does not view the expensive clothing as high value but rather the submissive spirit and humility of the wife as costly and of immense worth.

It is important that we see that God looks at the heart, not on someone’s outward appearance:

1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Peter says that if wives adorn themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit they are imitating their “mother” Sarah and following the holy women who have gone before them...

1 Peter 3:5-6 “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

Peter gives Sarah as an example to his audience to symbolize the truth that these Christians were no longer Gentiles, but spiritual Jews and the new covenant people who were children of Abraham.

They had been grafted into Abraham’s family through faith in Jesus and now will receive the blessings of Abraham being his children.

Peter’s audience demonstrates their new identity by adorning themselves with submission and obeying their husbands just as their “mother” Sarah did.

Sarah is a prime example for Peter’s audience to follow because she submitted to Abraham out of hope and faith in God. She respected him by calling him lord and obeyed him…even at times when it placed her in unfavorable situations.

Sarah also did not “fear intimidation or frightening” from her husband showing that she feared and trusted God.

Husbands often harshly treated their wives and beat them in Greco-Roman Culture.

The implication is that believing wives may face mistreatment or verbal slander for remaining loyal to God, but in these cases they should not fear their husbands but hope in God, trusting that he will vindicate them on the last day.

Tom Schreiner says, “the response of women to oppression by unbelieving husbands is exemplary and paradigmatic for all believers, just as the behavior of slaves points to the way all believers should react to persecution.”

To summarize, Peter calls Christian wives should submit to their unbelieving husbands out of submission and fear of the Lord to win them for Jesus; this submission should be characterized with an internal and the imperishable qualities of a meek and humble spirit.

Now, even though none of you girls are married yet, I think there are few implications for your lives that you begin to live out right now.

First, Do not focus or worry so much about your external appearance... but adorn yourself with humility and self-control, for this is what will win people to Jesus and what ultimately pleases God.

Do not wear excessive Jewelry or clothing that would bring too much attention to yourself or cause people to focus on you but adorn yourself with things that will cause people to look to God and worship him.

We get our English word “cosmetics” from the word Peter uses in this section for “adorn.” So the question is, what type of “cosmetics” are you trusting in? What “cosmetics” are pleasing in God’s sight? Maybelline and Clinique or humility, modesty, and self-control?

Ask yourself the question in the mirror each day, will my physical appearance lead people to focus on me, or in my modesty, focus on the goodness and holiness of God.

**Adorn yourself in a way that brings attention to the Lord and not yourself.

Second, Practice submission first to the Lord and then to your parents right now so that if God blesses you with a husband you will have developed the qualities of a respectful and submissive spirit that is pleasing in God’s sight.

After addressing the wives, Peter shifts to commands for the husbands in verse 7…and this is where I will address you guys now…so pay attention!

Husbands Honor Your Wives (vs 7)

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

“Likewise”-just as the believing wives should submit to their unbelieving husbands, believing husbands are to live with (imperative command) their wives in a considerate way, knowing that they are physically weaker then them.

“Husbands then, should live together with wives informed by the knowledge of God’s will, of what he demands them to do.” -Tom Schreiner

This means that the knowledge of God and his gospel should affect the way a husband treats his wife.

Because of their weaker physical strength and feebleness, Peter calls husbands to show them honor, which means to show them respect and revere them.

This was counter cultural in Greco-Roman culture for husbands to treat their wives in this way with honor and respect as the weaker vessel.

Aristotle considered women to be inferior to men by nature in every way except sexually.

The Greco-Roman culture considered women LESS because they were physically weaker, but Peter says because women are physically weaker, husbands should show them MORE CONSIDERATION.

Peter also says that husbands should treat their wives with honor because they are fellow heirs with them in the grace of life. Their wives have the same imperishable inheritance in Christ as their husbands do.

This shows the equality between husbands and wives and males and females that the Bible clearly teaches.

This teaching would have also been contradictory to the Greco-Roman culture to say that the wife was equal to the husband in equality.

The purpose of showing honor and living in an understanding way with one’s wife is so that a husbands prayers would not be hindered.

As 1 Peter 3:12 states, God’s face is against those who do evil and is closed to their prayers. This would include the husband who does not live with his wife in an understanding way as the weaker vessel and show her honor as a joint heir.

This principle can also be applied to all of us, in that if we are living in unrepentant sin and openly disobeying God’s word we cannot expect him to hear or answer our prayers.

So, Peter calls Christian husbands should hold their wives in higher regard due to their physical weakness and honor and respect them as fellow heirs of their imperishable inheritance in Christ so their prayers will not be hindered.

Guys, for you, here are some implications for your lives that you can seek to live out right now:

Because women are physically weaker, you must consider them more often to help and assist them in various tasks. This physical weakness should not cause you to slight them or look down on them but to consider them and want to help them more so.

You must show women honor, knowing that they are equal with you in God’s sight. You are no better than them.

Do this by practicing these characteristics with your Sister or Mom.

Help them with physical tasks.

Consider ways you can serve them.

Honor and respect them.

Response

One way that all of us are called to respond to this text tonight is that we should seek to live in a way that is pleasing to God rather than what is pleasing to the world.

We should care more about what God thinks about us than what the world thinks about us.

Our behavior as Christians should not give Jesus a bad name among unbelievers.

Also, we have to remember that the power for wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to honor their wives comes out of a love and fear of the Lord and submitting to him first.

Jesus provides the ultimate example of perfect submission to the Father and how he honored and lived in an understanding way with woman.

When we fall short of these tasks, we must remember that Jesus paid for our sin on the cross and we have forgiveness from our sin through repentance and faith in his name. We must know that he will give us the strength by his Spirit to live these truths out.

The way we live before the world matters and God can use our lives to bring and draw others to himself.

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