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Healthy Self-Esteem

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            Shirley was a member of the church of Pastor David Seamonds.  Shirley was a lady with a past; a past of abuse, hurt, anger, and having been deserted.  All those memories affected her self-image.  As she poured out her past, piece-by-piece Pastor David began to understand why she had such a poor self-esteem.  Through counsel and the Scripture he began replacing the flaws in her self-image with new images.  Pastor David told her that as she described herself and her past, he saw that she viewed herself as a potato, with pits and flaws.  But he helped her replace that image with one that God views her as…a peach!  In time, Shirley began to view herself as a peach, instead of a potato. 

1.      How is our self-esteem usually fashioned?  (By the reflection we see of ourselves in the comments of others.)     What’s wrong with this basis?  (People may give us a distorted image, or say unkind things about us, and if we believe it, we build an unhealthy self-image.)

2.      What’s your approach to life like if you have an unhealthy self-image?     How do you approach others?     How does it affect a parent as they raise their children?

3.      In your opinion, how much of our self-image is built by our parents?     Do you think parents approach building their child’s self-esteem with the thought that this may stick with them for life?

4.      What do the following passages say about our self-image?  Gen. 1:26;  2:7;  Ps. 139:13-16 

5.      We were created with favor above all the animals, for they were not created after God’s image.  Our likeness of God reflects something unique.  What do you think it is?     Do you think we are purposefully produced by God to fulfill a special purpose of His in this world?  Comment.

6.      How can we build our children’s self-esteem by helping them discover God’s purpose for their life?  (Rick Steadman – “Figuring out who I am and who God wants me to be is no small task.  So is living out that design, not conforming to what others want me to be.”)     Describe the feeling you get when you KNOW you are doing what God intended for you to do.

7.      How does our self-respect affect all this?     How does someone get so low that they don’t have any self-respect?

8.      If someone’s self-respect is poor, how do we help them rebuild it?  (Rom. 6:6;  Eph. 4:21-24;  Phil. 3:7-11)

9.      How does experiencing true forgiveness affect our self-image?     What are the signs of someone who has not been forgiven?     How can we help someone forgive themselves?


            I think we could help a lot of people if we approached them with the idea that everyone has the letters “TBLU” stamped on their forehead:  “To Be Lifted Up”.

            Eph 4:29  Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

            Phil 2:14-15  Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world.


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