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The Heart of Intimacy is Sacrificial Love

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Ralph Sorter

            If you find an excellent mate, you are given wings with which to soar.  But if you nurture your mate, you soar together.

            I still remember those early days of my courtship with Gloria.  We met at the college library and tossed love notes over the cubical walls to each other.  Believe me, my mind wasn’t on Calculus…it was on her.  I still have them in a keepsake box.  Being single was lonely…but finding Gloria changed it from a pit to a peach!

            Throughout this seminar you have been encouraged to make your spouse blossom.  You men have been challenged to give your bride back to God better than when He gave her to you.  That transformation won’t happen over night.  It’s made up of a thousand nights.  With each tender word, encouragement, and sacrificial deed their character will transform and the pedals will unfold one-by-one.

            The rewards are awesome.  You are in a front row seat to witness the amazing transformation when they experience a love they would die for.  What is the kind of love that someone would die for?

Ø      It’s the kind of love that acts contrary to the impulse of your emotions.  You see, sacrificial love consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.

Ø      It’s liberating love.  It’s love that builds their self-esteem, lifts them from the prison of their past and sets them on a course of healing.

Ø      It’s sacrificial love that looks to satisfy their needs before your own.  When you walk through the door at the end of the day, envision “TBU” stamped on their forehead: “To Be Uplifted.”

Ø      It’s God’s kind of love.  He loved us when we were undesirable, unworthy and unlovable.  When we choose to deliberately love those who don’t deserve it, then we reflect His love to them.  That’s the kind of love that wins their heart.  It’s the kind of love that dies for them…and they are dying to have it!

Ø      Agape love never becomes more evident than when there is conflict, when your feelings are dead, but you keep loving them.  It’s to choose their interests over your own.  I know that’s sacrificial, but then if its not sacrificial, it wouldn’t be God’s love.  You see, love isn’t measured by the intensity of your feelings, but by the sacrifice you make.

Ø      Now, do you want to hear the raw, street language of the love I’m calling you to give?  It’s the kind of love that deliberately entangles itself in their life…like clover and grass.  Love that entangles with your imperfect spouse reveals your love is genuine.  That kind of love will melt their cold heart and warm up the emotions that have been kept in the deep freeze.  Without encouragement, lives wither.  A relationship without encouragement is just another conversation with someone in an elevator.

Ø      Wounds that foster a bitter spirit are like a cancer to relationships.  But this kind of love is great chemotherapy.

Ø      It’s the kind of love that says, “I’m willing to expend my life to see you grow. 



“A bell is not a bell ‘till you ring it.  A song’s not a song ‘till you sing it.  Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay.  Love isn’t love ‘till you give it away.”

            Are you committed to love your spouse ‘till death do you part?  Then commit to see them blossom right in front of your eyes!  Make the commitment to breathe JOY deeply into their soul…instead of the heaving sobs of rejection and sorrow.  Will you be Jesus to them?

            God’s kind of love has the power to heal relationships, give them direction, and give them power to overcome the things that wounded their heart.  Fill their life with meaning and lift them to their highest.  Love them with no less than the love God loves us.

            It all begins by receiving God’s love into YOUR HEART!  When His love is enthroned in your heart…then you can love them like He loves you!  And when you do, you will see your spouse blossom into the fully expanded flower He has designed for them.

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