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Man of Velvet Man of Steel

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Text:  Ephesians 5:25

            A lot of ideas have been put forth these days that create confusion about what a man is.  More and more we are out of balance and go to the extremes.  One extreme puts forth that a man knows self-defense methods and can beat up anyone.  The other extreme proposes being passivist that lets everyone walk over his values.  There is a tremendous need for balance and I want to do just that with this message prior to Father’s Day.

            Things out of balance become repulsive; such is true about a man and his masculinity.  A man who thinks he’s all steel is like Hitler; and a man who is all velvet is so soft that he’s no good to anyone.  There needs to be a mixture.

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The Man of Steel

            A man of steel has strength, endurance, and the temperance of fine steel. 

1.      He can assume the burden of responsibilities that fall on his shoulders.

2.      He has deep convictions and steadfastly holds to them.

3.      He has the diligence to stick things out when it would be easier to give in.

Men, answer these questions.  What responsibility has God given you to carry?     What source of strength do you turn to to help you carry the burdens that come our way?     What would your family say are your strongest convictions?     What helps you to steadfastly hold to them?

The Man of Velvet

            The velvet qualities include a man’s gentleness, his tenderness, kindness, generosity, and patience.  He is respectful to others and has the ability to love with tenderness.  He has his pride and ego under control and does not seek to inflate it.  How do you rate in the velvet qualities?

Steel Qualities Families Look for in Men

1.      To teach them principles to live by; standards and ideals which guide them through life.

2.      To provide a sense of direction when life gets uncertain or threatening.

3.      Display self-confidence and instill confidence in them.

4.      Decisive decision-making that does not vacillate or postpone.

5.      Consistency in his judgment and follow-through on his word.

Velvet Qualities Families Look for in Men

1.      The ability to be humble when wrong – admit your error.

2.      Listen to other people’s point of view.

3.      Meet the needs of others with compassion.

4.      A gentle, romantic love that treats your wife as royalty.
Illus. – Man on island who wanted to marry a poor, rejected woman.  Dowry was 1 cow; he paid her father 8 cows.

5.      Leaves no doubt in people’s mind concerning his love for them; he expresses/shows it.

6.      Sacrificial love.
Illus. – Couple who wanted to express their love at Christmas, but were poor.  She sold her long hair to buy his much wanted watch chain; he sold his watch to buy her two tortoise shell jeweled combs she wanted.


            What are the areas your family needs your leadership in?     Where do they most need your love expressed?     What can you do to bring out the best qualities in your family?

            Your family needs you to provide balance…both steel and velvet.  It’s the man who brings that balance into his family that is a hero!

            Pray for the men.

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