A Love That's Good
Rethinking Love • Sermon • Submitted
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18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Rethinking Love
Rethinking Love
We are starting a brand new mini-sermon-series I’m calling Rethinking Love.
My goal is to extrapolate what love is from 4 stories in the Bible:
Part 1: Adam and Eve (while common, it sets the foundation)
Part 2: Ruth and Naomi
Part 3: Joseph and Mary
Part 4: Jesus and His Bride
Now then, why are we rethinking love?
We live a strange and peculiar world. Today, logic isn’t logical, facts aren’t factual, and truth is subjective.
Words in our dictionaries are slowly becoming obsolete as definitions are dismissed or superseded by opinions.
The argument against this is that change is needed. And to an extent, I agree. The world is not perfect, it’ll never be perfect, it needs flexibility to change and be shaped by an ever changing culture and technology. So, I’m all for openness, I’m ready to embrace changes, but not at the expense of compromising foundations.
The foundation I worry about more than anything else is love.
We don’t have to look too far or too long to find that love is being redefined every where all the time — And I’m not trying to get political at all. I’m simply stating the reality that we all have different definitions of love.
But you may wonder, “Well, what’s wrong with that?”
Love is not subjective. Love is not fluid. At least not by the standards of Christianity because the Bible clearly states that God is love (1 John 4:8) and God is never changing (Heb. 13:8); hence, love is immutable, it is fixed, it is unchanging.
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What is it that is never changed even though everything is changed? It is love. And only that which never becomes something else is love, that which gives away everything and for that reason demands nothing, that which demands nothing and therefore has nothing to lose, that which blesses and blesses when it is cursed, that which loves its neighbor but whose enemy is also its neighbor, that which leaves revenge to the Lord because it takes comfort in the thought that he is even more merciful. (EUD, 56–57)
Soren Kierkegaard (Danish Philosopher)
We need to rethink love and find ourselves back to the foundation of it because it is God who established love, it is God who perpetuates love, and it is God who longs for us to love.
Therefore, today, we will look closely at the story of Adam and Eve. It’s in this narrative that we find the divine design of love between a man and a woman.
When It’s Not Good
When It’s Not Good
I want to bring your attention to Gen. 2:18 because that’s where God established and displays what love ought to look like.
The title of today’s sermon is “A Love That’s Good” and it comes from this very verse.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Remember the Creation? Each day, upon completing a task, what does it tell us? “God saw that it is good.”
Out of His abundant love, He created heavens and the earth, He created the sun, the moon, and the stars, made land and water appear, then put creatures inside and on it, flowers, trees, mountains, hills, and valleys, all created from His abundant love and saw that it was good!
But as He looked upon the man He created in His own image, He noticed something was off. The man had no one to love, no way of experiencing the very essence of God in himself.
As the saying goes, “There’s a God shaped hole in our hearts,” and that hole is the love God created for you to experience.
Notice here that personal achievements will not satisfy (Adam worked).
Adam felt it and experienced. He had everything; yet it was not good.
So, that’s when God makes him a helper fit for him. This is where the love begins!
A Helper Does Not Mean Inferior
A Helper Does Not Mean Inferior
Let’s pause here and talk about this.
Now, a helper, this has been terribly misunderstood and taken out of context — Listen carefully, “Bad theology makes bad people.”
Because we read that a woman is initially labeled a helper and some have taken that to mean a woman is inferior or is subordinate to man. That they are not an equal.
That reasoning violates the essence of love God made between man and a woman.
Let me tell you a quick story of a struggle I experienced in the beginning of my marriage.
In my case, it wasn’t me (a man) belittling my wife (a woman) — Strangely, it was the other way around. But you’ll get the point by the end.
My wife, professionally, is a teacher.
Sometimes, she would talk to me like I was one of her student.
She got lucky because she married a pastor. When I bring work home, I’m always ready to listen, ready to pray for her, love her, and goes on.
When there’s inequality, due to our sinful nature, the love God designed between a man and a woman cannot happen to its fullest potential. It’ll always be one (whether man or woman) standing above the other.
Do you see how it violates the essence of love by God?
Consider the history of how women have been mistreated and how it continues today. Why does that happen? Why do men objectify women?
I can assure you it’s not love. Rather, it’s our sinful nature justified by bad theology.
And the equality between man and woman is hidden behind our text.
So, goin back to our text, this word “helper” has been used against women. And I assure you, it’s a misunderstanding.
The Hebrew word for helper (ezer) we find in our text, we know it doesn’t denote subordinate or imply inferiority because it’s the same Hebrew word used in Hosea 13:9 that refers to God as a helper.
When God created Eve to be Adam’s “helper,” God didn’t make for him an assistant, but an equal partner to which both can help and benefit from another.
But that’s not all.
We continue reading and find that the woman came from the rib of a man. Another language that lends itself to quick assumptions that a woman is perhaps lesser in some way.
The Hebrew word for rib (t’sela) has nothing to do with our anatomical rib-bone — Lot of people out there believe men have more ribs than women — We both have 12 on each side.
The same word (rib or t’sela) is found in describing the tabernacle, the temple, the ark of the covenant and Jerusalem when referring to diving them in an even half — It means creating one-half of a united whole.
In other words, when God created Eve from Adam’s ribs, God did not literally take a rib and formed her, but He created her not less in value, not subordinate, not inferior, but equal and even.
Just listen to the words of Adam when he first lays eyes on his love. His equal, His even half.
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
This is how God intended the love for a man and woman to be. For each to be equal so that each can love evenly.
Unbreakable Partnership
Unbreakable Partnership
Not only are we designed to be equal and even in our love, God placed one additional element within our relationship — Love is unbreakable.
Now, hear me, marriages can break. Boyfriends and girlfriends can break. But love, the way God intended, it cannot break.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
This concept of becoming one flesh is lost in our culture today.
First, most interpret and allude this to be the consummation — To become one flesh has nothing to with our desire to satisfy our sexual needs.
I grew up at the tail end of purity culture — I was taught holding hands is as far as I can go, that kissing can lead to mono, and sex before marriage is a death sentence.
I know a couple who got married at the age of 19 not because they were in love but as a result of purity culture — They couldn’t control their urges. They opted for marriage to satisfy their needs (fortunately, they’re happily married today).
Now, as a culture, we’ve gone almost fully to the other side. Instead of addressing sex before marriage, we’re talking about abortion becoming legal or not.
So what is God addressing when He says “they shall become one flesh”? If it’s not consummation, then what is it?
Fast-forward to NT, 1 Cor. 12, we hear from apostle Paul. Paul is addressing the church about what love is and does so by telling them to become one flesh.
14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
To become one flesh means when she’s hurting, you’re hurting. When he’s sad, you’re sad. When she’s broken, you’re broken. When he’s stressed, you’re stressed.
It’s seeking the well-being of one another, caring for each other as an extension of yourself.
This is the unbreakable love God designed for a man and a woman because the two are now one.
Rethinking Love
Rethinking Love
This is the good love that God created and established between two people.
Can we rethink love and practice this godly love ?
May we be ambassadors of this love — Learning and growing together and teaching to our children.
Next week, we will dive into the story of Ruth — In her case, love is spelled differently: loyalty.
And this week, we will dive deeper into this sermon in our Off the Pulpit podcast. So, don’t forget to tune in!