Sermon Tone Analysis

1 Peter 3:1-7

Our passage tonight is from the third chapter of 1 Peter.

When we were in the second chapter of this book I kept saying 2 Peter instead of 1 Peter chapter 2. Now that we’ve finally made it to the third chapter perhaps I’ll get past that.

In chapter 2, Peter started a subject that is continued in chapter 3.

That subject is submission.

First, Peter says we are to submit ourselves to the government authorities that are over us.

Second, he said that we are to submit to our bosses who are over us.

Peter said the reason for this submission is because God has placed them over us and that we might be witnesses for the gospel in how we respond to them.

Peter is going to make one more application concerning submission and this one might be the hardest of all to talk about.

Peter is going to talk about submission in the home.

Specifically, he tells wives to submit to their husbands.

I’m sure you know that this is not a very popular topic in the secular world today and sometimes not even among Christians.

A few years ago a congressman made news when he wrote a book in which he cited the Bible and addressed family relations.

He said that in a marriage a wife should voluntarily submit to her husband though she is not inferior to him.

She should voluntarily submit to him while he lovingly leads and sacrifice for his wife.

I probably don’t have to tell you what kinds of backlash he received for writing that.

Non-Christians especially don’t want to hear that.

They don’t like that “S” word – submit.

Yet that’s exactly what we find in the Bible.

We find it in Ephesians 5 that we’ll eventually get to one Sunday morning and we find it in our text tonight from 1 Peter 3 as Peter addresses the subject of marriage.

Sadly, marriage bears the brunt of a lot of humor, and in many respects for good reason.

Here’s a few interesting quotes about marriage.

Mae West said: “Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.”

Rita Rudner said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.

They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.”

Helen Rowland said; “In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.”

There’s a story of the boss who was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that read “I'm the Boss!” and taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called.

She wants her sign back!”

A preschooler was sitting with her parents on the couch one evening.

The little girl said to her dad: “Daddy, you're the boss of the house, right?”

Her father proudly replied, “Yes, honey, I am the boss of the family.”

Then the little girl added: “Cause Mommy put you in charge, right Daddy?”

Before we continue with 1 Peter let’s turn to Genesis 2. In Genesis 1 we read that God created us male and female and in Genesis 2 we read that he created us for marriage.

When God created us the man and woman he designed them to play certain roles in their marriage.

If they had the exact same roles then one of them wasn’t really needed.

But God made men and women differently.

We read in Genesis 2:

Genesis 2:18-21 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.

I will make a helper suitable for him.”

19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky.

He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.

We’re told that God made Eve to be a helper for Adam.

I think many today would take that word helper in a negative light.

And I am also sure there have been men who have taken that to mean that their wives are their servants.

However, we need to know that the word helper occurs twenty-one times in the Old Testament and fifteen of them are about God helping people.

This should certainly help us to understand that women are not servants, nor are they inferior.

I think Matthew Henry put it well in his commentary on this passage when he noted God didn’t take her from the head to be his superior, or from his foot to be his inferior, but God took her from his side to be equal with him, to be along with him.

If you haven’t done so already, open you Bible and turn to 1 Peter 3. We must admit that marriage isn’t easy.

Marriage requires a lot of effort and adjustment.

Thankfully, God has given us marriage instructions in his word.

And we find some of those instructions here in 1 Peter.

Peter wrote:

1 Peter 3:1-2 1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

The phrase “in the same way” refers us back to the overall context of the previous verses in chapter 2 that talked about submitting to those who have authority over us: government and to bosses.

Twice Peter now talks about wives submitting to their husbands.

Remember, the word “submit” was a military term that means “to order under.”

It literally means “to arrange in formation under the commander.”

Submission is simply the recognition of God’s authority in our lives and ordering ourselves under God’s will.

Submission does not imply any moral, intellectual, or spiritual inferiority in the family, workplace, or society in general.

But it is God’s design for roles necessary for our well-being.

Commanding officers are not necessarily superior in character to the troops under them, but their authority is vital to the proper functioning of the unit.

Even Jesus submitted himself to the Father, but in no way was inferior to the Father.

There is nothing degrading about submitting to authority or accepting God’s order.

Instead, it is the first step toward real fulfillment of what God has created us to be.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians telling them that God had ordained the husband to be the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church.

Headship is not dictatorship.

Instead, headship is the loving exercise of divine authority under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

One further comment we should make about this passage from Peter is that he is addressing a marriage of unequal yoke.

That’s the term Paul used to describe the marriage between a believer and an unbeliever.

The yoke or marital bond isn’t equal because they are both believers.

At that time is was assumed the wife would follow the religious inclinations of her husband.

She did whatever her husband did.

So in this instance where the wife is a believer and her husband is not, what was she to do?

There would have been pressure from the state, from the community, and from her husband.

Should she just leave her unbelieving husband?

That’s what some would suggest, but it’s not what God’s word advises.

As hard as it might have been to hear, the New Testament says something else.

Zig Ziglar had this advice about marriage:

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person.

I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful.

I’ll be the first to admit that it is possible that you did marry the wrong person.

However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all.

He could have gotten that advice from Peter who suggested that wives have an opportunity to evangelize their unbelieving husbands by the way they act towards their husbands.

They can, without even saying a word, be a godly influence.

The radio preacher James Vernon McGee told the story of a woman who brought her unbelieving husband to church every Sunday hoping he would give his life to Christ.

When the husband didn’t respond to the preacher’s invitation she would sit at the breakfast table that next Monday morning weeping and telling him how she wished he would become a Christian.

Every evening when he would return from work, she would tearfully preach to him some more.

McGee said he asked her, “How would you like to have dinner every evening and breakfast every morning with a weeping and preaching wife?”

He then suggested that the woman take a one year moratorium from weeping and preaching to the husband about the Lord.

The woman was really surprised and asked, “You don’t want me to witness to my husband?”

McGee replied, “Oh, yes, I want you to witness, but I want you to start preaching a wordless sermon.”

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words” and they really do.

The woman agreed to give his method a try.

McGee says that he and the wife were both surprised that within six months the man became a Christian.

Although it doesn’t always work out so nicely and quickly, I think I can guarantee that rarely will a husband be won to Christ by a wife who regularly pushes, preaches and nags.