The Relationships
Fundamentals of Discipleship • Sermon • Submitted
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Transcript
Reading:
John 15:4-5 “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
Introduction:
Last week I made some statements about who a believer can have fellowship with as a believer in Christ.
I specifically mentioned 2 other beliefs systems: Catholic and Lutheran.
Just to clear up any confusion: the Catholic faith bases their grace on the actions of the individual instead of on Christ by faith.
Example:
- Infant baptism saves a child; that is false and nowhere to be found in the bible.
- Baptism provides entrance into heaven and your salvation.
Both are works of man. Ephesians says that you are saved by grace through faith: It is your trusting in who Jesus is and what He did for you.
I don’t believe that we can rely on any denomination for our forgiveness and salvation: We can only rely on Jesus alone.
Jesus made 7 “I Am statements” throughout John. One of them is found in the passages read before prayer.
This “I Am Statement” brings to the forefront the point that there is only one supply for life: Jesus.
Without Jesus, life doesn’t exist.
With this on our minds we can turn towards our next part of our fundamentals of discipleship.
It is that of relationships.
The Lord when He spoke of relationships told us some things that didn’t sound pleasant.
Transition:
He states that what He brings isn’t what most thought He would.
Most may have thought that the Messiah would’ve brought:
Peace
Peace
Matthew 10:34-36 ““Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
These passages sound harsh.
I don’t think they are any more harsh than the passages we have read about being His disciples.
Matthew 10:38 “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
Many other passages make a similar reference:
Your not worthy to be called a disciple if you give preference to anyone other than Christ:
That includes yourself!
Transition:
Christ didn’t come to bring peace to all relationships.
He says that allegiance to Him would make some relationships more difficult.
He is pointing out the need for:
Loyalty
Loyalty
Matthew 10:34 ““Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
The sword emphasizes division.
Jesus made sure that the readers of the text understood what could happen to the relationships with others.
They could be severed.
? Why might they be severed? “What fellowship can righteousness have with unrighteousness? And what communion can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
They might be severed because of Conviction.
Conviction that challenges you to withhold fellowship with unbelievers.
The conviction that others may endure because they are witnessing your effort to maintain an Holy acceptable life before Him.
not earning it, or keeping it; but making an effort to live according to scripture.
They might be severed because of a desire to abstain from the life that you once lived in the flesh.
Some people don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t enjoy or do the same things.
They might be severed because of hatred towards God in you.
Some of the world may just not want anything to do with God or those who name Him as Lord.
They hate your new life in Christ because they don’t like Christ.
Illustration:
Growing up I recognized different transitions from varying grades.
These transitions typically effected the relationships with friends.
Elementary friends didn’t always make the cut as Middle school friends, and High school friends were different than the Middle school.
After graduation college friends were different.
Why do relationships change over the years?
People have their individual lives to live and make choices that effect who they are.
We choose those we have relationships with because of commonality and interests.
Connection:
At the moment of salvation we are changed.
From that point on we have a deep zeal and desire to live our life unto the Lord.
All of the sudden the people who don’t have that same zeal and fire for the Lord are in the back seat.
The relationships become work focused instead of fellowship because you desire from love:
To pass along the gift of salvation, so they can know Jesus like you and to be forgiven of their sins.
Transition:
Our relationships change, that is a simple fact; but Jesus is giving us the hard truth here.
The word divides those relationships that aren’t encouraging you towards the Lord.
The more we read and allow the Word to change us, the less people living according to the world wants us around.
Point:
Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”
Whether your living out your faith or telling people about it:
You new life in Christ will offend people.
? Why?
Because you exchanged your loyalty from them to Christ.
Illustration:
What does loyalty mean in the world?
It means:
Unending devotion.
Always ready to help.
Consistent allegiance, not conditional or wavering.
These attributes of loyalty are especially strong in our families.
Transition:
Friends are great relationships and sometimes they are more relatable than our own families.
Yet the relationships that we are worried to change are those with our blood relatives.
The possibility of straining those relationships cause us to fear changing them.
When God is lifted up in your life as we see here in verses :35-36:
Relationships change
Relationships change
Matthew 10:35-36 “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
The relationships that change is among the hierarchy first.
This is natural; but also necessary for starting a new family unit.
The relationship changes between the father and son as the son becomes a man and desires his own:
Family:
Family:
Matthew 10:35 “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
The “man” of the house is where the authority for the whole family rests.
This we can read many places throughout scripture but we are given a great picture to strive for in:
Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
The first impact in the family is that between the:
Father and Son:
Father and Son:
Illustration:
I had never heard this before I got married; but maybe you have:
There cannot be 2 heads of the household!
When I understood it, there was so much that I understood about a home when 2 adult males are living there.
Every man has their “way” of doing things and having their own convictions by which they live.
For the most part, each generations convictions and standards aren’t the same.
Maybe it’s due to changes in the world that impacts young families and what they do.
Maybe it’s due to not having relationships with Christ.
Maybe it’s due to having a relationship with Christ.
Connection:
Either way each man has a direction for their own families and it may be different than their dads.
Transition:
The son has to leave the home in order to accomplish his own family unit.
The relationships between fathers and sons change.
It will be a learning curve for both.
And when one is saved but the other isn’t the relationship is not relatable.
The relationship doesn’t just change between the father and son it also changes with:
The Daughters and Mothers.
The Daughters and Mothers.
Matthew 10:35 “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.”
I am not sure about you but when a girl grows into a young lady they begin to have their opinions more known than before.
Illustration:
With Ella turning 13 as as dad I look back to pictures of her when she was 3 and recall her sweetness, caring gestures, etc...
It is exciting that she is growing into a young lady; but it isn’t without concern.
I know that our relationships are going to change and the last season we had with her is gone and the new one has arrived.
Her and Katie’s relationship will change too.
Ella will be more independent, relying on herself instead of Katie and I.
One person said you change positions as they grow.
You become a cheerleader and leave the coaching hat behind more and more.
Until you are the spectator.
Daughters relationships change with their moms because of their natural growing;
but what takes place in a home where one knows the Lord and the other doesn’t?
The believer would seem more submissive and agreeable; which could cause jealousy.
The wife could begin believing the lie that the husband doesn’t love her as much as her daughter.
The daughter could believe the lie that her dad doesn’t dote on and care for her like her mother.
Turmoil between the 2 ladies of the home can have affects on everyone in the home.
Joke:
A guy pulls into his garage and gets a text from his wife:
“where are you?”
He replies: “Just pulling into the garage, I went to home depot.”
She says: “I know, I went with you.”
That could be 3 minutes away; but it will be the longest 3 minutes of his life.
I believe the phrase is “happy wife, happy life.”
When your wife isn’t happy the whole home dynamic of the home changed: everyone’s eating pizza.
How about when your teenage daughter is upset.
It shifts the mood of the house.
Point:
Mothers and daughters can impact the mood in the home and when they don’t have the same beliefs it can mean a strained home.
Salvation can change the dynamic and sometimes the one can despise Christ in the other.
Transition:
Another relationship spoken of is that between the wife and the mother in law.
What could possibly be the issue there?
The basic one is that her son separates himself from dad and mom in exchange for his wife.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Some mom’s may resent the daughter in law for taking their son away.
Transition:
Peace is not what happens when we follow Christ, there is divisions in the relationships that are closest.
Sometimes they change and grow and when one knows the Lord and the other doesn’t that relationship is severed by Christ.
If we had some scales and we could place all our relationships on one side.
To weigh their importance how should all of them be valued in comparison to our relationship with Christ?
He states an difficult truth about:
The Values.
The Values.
Matthew 10:36-38 “And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
There is a saying:
“Those closest to you are the ones who hurt you the most.”
Often families that are severed will be one another’s worst:
Enemies.
Enemies.
Matthew 10:36 “And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
Why can those of your own household hurt you the most?
Illustration:
I am willing to bet that each and every one of you could, if asked, sit and write out an thorough book about the people that live in your home.
The things they like
The places they go
Their strengths
Their weaknesses.
Point:
If someone wanted to hurt you from your own home, how difficult would that be?
They can hurt you the most because they know you the best.
Their ammunition is endless and powerful.
A home should be a the sanctuary from the world and it’s difficulties.
It should be the location that your able to relax your guard.
Emotionally it is more hurtful because you thought they would never...
Transition:
No human relationship is perfect; because we are all flawed.
In Christ there is a relationship where one is perfect. (it’s not you)
He brings us a challenge to be:
Worthy.
Worthy.
Matthew 10:37-38 “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
Mother and Father are authorities; but when it is a decision between parents wisdom and God’s.
God’s is true and mom and dad are wrong.
Mom’s and dad’s hold a special authority in our lives.
They were the: “because I said so” authorities in our lives.
You just did what they said because they knew it all and you trusted them.
Point:
Christ is telling us:
Trust Him more than mom and dad.
Or we are unworthy of Jesus.
As a parent we could love our children more than even our own husbands and wives.
Christ is pointing out:
If you love your kids more than Him your making an idol out of them and aren’t worthy of Him.
Transition:
Christ makes sure to wrap up the thought with bringing the scales of importance right to our own feet.
Matthew 10:38 “And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
You are not more important than Christ.
Deny your own selfish desires
Ignore your crackerjack wisdom in comparison to Christ’s
Your logic can be flawed, His cannot.
You want to be worthy of Christ?
Let your allegiance and loyalty rely on Christ more than anyone, even yourself.
When we place Him on the throne of our life we are promised:
The New Life.
The New Life.
Matthew 10:39 “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
I grew up wanting to be a professional soccer player or professional athlete.
My mind was all about me, and what I found importance in.
My identity was in sports. It was who I was.
The moment Christ became my identity everything changed.
I didn’t know what I wanted.
I pleaded with the Lord to take my life and use it as He would want.
I just wanted to do what He had for me.
If I had become a professional soccer player or athlete I don’t believe that I would have ever been a pastor.
Let alone get a degree in Bible.
Connection:
This passage reminds us that when we give up all our individual rights to the King.
We will have a life that lasts for all eternity and is being spent on a worthy purpose.
This means all our:
possessions
passions
hobbies
relationships
Anything that would distract us from full allegiance to our Lord and King should be placed on the altar as sacrifices for what His desires, and passions are for us.
The new life provides fulfillment of having true value and worth.
Living out His purpose because He designed us that way.
Conclusion:
The truth is that Jesus didn’t bring peace to our relationships,
He made it possible for peace between God and man.
When He saves us and are adopted into His family,
Relationships will change. That’s not a bad thing. Sometimes the removal of ungodly things from your life may hurt; but God is shaping you to reflect His Son to the world.
We must place the highest value on Him, His word, and the direction of the Holy Spirit, We are His ambassadors/Representatives.
As pilgrims passing through this world on the way to Heaven, all our “stuff” is tools for the Lord’s use. Our desires and passions, when they aren’t for the Lord, should be sacrificed on the altar; they aren’t worthy of our time. He is.
Relationships are important; but the most important one to put effort into is with Him.