Sermon Tone Analysis

*The Simplicity of Forgiveness*

/Matthew 18.15-35/

Pastor Oesterwind

 

*Introduction:*  When I prayed for Annabelle yesterday, I asked that the Lord protect her from the sinfulness of this world.

I think it a good prayer, but no one lives in this world without being mistreated.

I guess I should add to my prayer that she learn how to respond to this mistreatment.

This is the real key to the productive Christian life.

Extending forgiveness is the first thought of a Christian who as been mistreated.

When someone does us wrong, we need to pardon the offense and let go of anger and bitterness that is often directed toward the offender.

The Scripture teaches that the foundation of this forgiveness is found in God’s approach to us.

Is there a sin or a wrong that God has not forgiven in our lives?

Is He always willing to restore close fellowship with Him?

Most of us recognize that anger at someone without due cause is just flat out wrong.

A few days ago, Roger Stephens let his anger get the best of him.

The 61-year old Atlanta area man slapped a crying 2 year-old at a Stone Mountain, GA Wal-Mart.

He warned the little girl’s mother, “If you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you.”

The baby continued to cry, and Stephens slapped the girl four or five times.

He then told the mother, “See, I told you I would shut her up!”

He is now charged with felony cruelty to children.

That kind of anger is uncalled for and must be handled by authorities.

However, some people believe that they are justified in their anger.

They hold grudges for entire lifetimes for clear and real wrongs committed against them.

Some children are abused, grow up to be adults, and seethe over what has happened to them.

They want in the worse way to see their abuser get what’s coming to him.

As Christians, we must cultivate a spirit of forgiveness.

It is a spirit that responds from the foundational truth of God’s forgiveness for us.

How has God treated us?

How shall we treat others?

It really is this simple.

While unbelievers do not have the spiritual inclination to forgive (they don’t understand what Christ has done for them) nor the spiritual strength (grace) to forgive, we have both.

Christ addressed the issue of forgiving others while teaching His disciples about half way through His earthly ministry.

*/Transition:  Matthew 18 teaches us the process of forgiving those who offend us, the responsibility of the church to undergird this process, and a warning to those who fail to carry the process out…/*

The Process of Forgiving Others (Matthew 18.15-17)

How do we deal with believers who sin against us?

This is the basic question that we answer from this passage.

Since the inclination and strength to forgive only belong to believers, how do we handle offenses that will surely come?

We have four steps in the text.

We carry out each of the steps with the hope that we will see restoration and unity within the church not just discipline and justice.

This is very important.

Many people never do resolve matters.

They would much rather cover them over than seek true restoration.

Others leave and never give you the opportunity for restoration.

We must look at our church body as a family.

Covering up hurts and running away are not options in families (at least they shouldn’t be).

They shouldn’t be options here.

Let’s examine these four steps…

1.       “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone” (18.15).

2.       “If he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established” (18.16).

3.       “If he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church” (18.17a).

4.       “If he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector (18.17b).

*/A Private Confrontation/*

The confrontation begins with two people:  the offended and the offender.

Keeping it between you both promotes an openness and sincerity that is missing in our world.

Of course, we can sometimes have a private confrontation filled with abrasive attitudes and hearts quick to condemn.

This causes further division.

Sometimes, I’ve talked with two people who are struggling to forgive, and I get the idea that the person who had been offended doesn’t really want to forgive and restore; but rather, they want to vent and justify feelings of hatred.

If you’ve been offended, you should clearly state what it is that offended you.

What was done wrong?

What Bible principle was violated?

The offender should admit they sinned with a humble and contrite heart.

There should be a quick willingness to make restitution.

You shouldn’t come up with justifications for sinning the way you did.

If you refuse to forgive, then it’s on to step two…

*/A Reasonable Confrontation/*

The second step brings one or maybe two witnesses into the situation.

The witnesses hear both sides in order to substantiate the claims of the person who was sinned against.

The private confrontation becomes a strong confrontation by two or three people.

These people all seek the restoration, health, and unity of the body of Christ.

These witnesses may conclude that the offended brother has no ground for his case against his brother.

It is at this meeting that the matter will more than likely be resolved.

On the other hand, they may find that there is a problem that must be addressed, then pressure is placed upon the offender.

If the offender still refuses to forgive, then step three is in order…

*/A Public Confrontation/*

Step three involves the entire congregation of the church.

I’d have to say that we don’t often get to step three for three primary reasons…

·         It is quickly and hopefully settled in step two.

·         It is never handled and offended people stay in the church, seethe, and refuse to deal with it.

This kills a church from the inside-out.

·         It is never handled because the offended people leave the church and everyone it.

They offer no hope of restoration and often no reasons for their actions.

The public confrontation includes the membership of the church.

Presumably, it is the church that both the offended and the offender attend.

If you fear God, you won’t want it to go this far.

If you don’t fear God, you may press on to step four…

*/A Grievous Confrontation/*

The final step in the process assumes that the offender will not do right and must be refused fellowship with the church.

Further, the offender is viewed as an unsaved person.

It causes grief because it is severe.

It is severe because the offender’s attitude toward sin is poor.

He will not treat the situation with the gravity it deserves.

People who act like unsaved people should be viewed as unsaved people.

How do we view unsaved people?

Hopefully, we do so with compassion.

Hopefully, we pray that they will be saved.

We don’t carry feelings of bitterness toward them; we seek restoration and forgiveness.

We seek what Christ seeks.

Clear offenses demand quick confrontation.

We are not talking about personal preferences or tastes.

If something is questionable, it will be handled by reasonable people in the first step.

All of us are accountable for our actions and attitudes before God.