Instructions About Marriage and Singleness

Dr. George Bannister

Woodville Baptist Church

The Letters to the Corinthians • Sermon • Submitted a year ago • Presented a year ago

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1 Corinthians 7:1–40 (NLT)

1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.

2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.

9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband.

11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a fellow believer has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her.

13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

14 For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.

15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)

16 Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.

18 For instance, a man who was circumcised before he became a believer should not try to reverse it. And the man who was uncircumcised when he became a believer should not be circumcised now.

19 For it makes no difference whether or not a man has been circumcised. The important thing is to keep God’s commandments.

20 Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you.

21 Are you a slave? Don’t let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it.

22 And remember, if you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ.

23 God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.

24 Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you.

25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you.

26 Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are.

27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married.

28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.

29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage.

30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions.

31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.

33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.

34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.

35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

36 But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin.

37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry.

38 So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord.

40 But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.

INTRODUCTION:

I- HUSBANDS AND WIVES ARE TO HELP EACH OTHER PURSUE HOLINESS. (1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-9)

1 Corinthians 7:1–9 (NLT)

1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.

2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.

9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

A- Celibacy is good for those who are able to live that way, but is not for all people. ( 1 Corinthians 7:1)

1 Corinthians 7:1 (NLT)

1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.

1- Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote (περι δε ὡν ἐγραψατε ). An ellipsis of περι τουτων , the antecedent of περι ὡν, is easily supplied as in papyri. The church had written Paul a letter in which a number of specific problems about marriage were raised. He answers them seriatim. The questions must be clearly before one in order intelligently to interpret Paul’s replies. The first is whether a single life is wrong. Paul pointedly says that it is not wrong, but good (καλον). One will get a one-sided view of Paul’s teaching on marriage unless he keeps a proper perspective.

One of the marks of certain heretics will be forbidding to marry (1 Tim. 4:1-3).

1 Timothy 4:1–3 (NLT)

1 Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons.

2 These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are dead.

3 They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain foods. But God created those foods to be eaten with thanks by faithful people who know the truth.

Paul uses marriage as a metaphor of our relation to Christ (2 Cor. 11:2; Eph. 5:28–33).

2 Corinthians 11:2 (NLT)

2 For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ.

Ephesians 5:28–33 (NLT)

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Paul is not here opposing marriage. He is only arguing that celibacy may be good in certain limitations. The genitive case with ἁπτεσθαι (touch) is the usual construction.

B- Husbands and wives are to be focused upon each other’s needs rather than their own desires. (1 Corinthians 7:2)

1 Corinthians 7:2 (NLT)

2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

(1 Corinthians 7:3-9

1 Corinthians 7:3–9

3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.

4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.

7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.

8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.

9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

1- “Let each have” reflects a Greek idiom for “Let them have sexual relations.” Jewish people saw married sexual intimacy as the best deterrent to sexual immorality, and Paul here agrees.

2- (vs. 2-5) affection: Husbands and wives have a duty to maintain sexual relations with each other so that neither will be tempted by Satan to have sex outside of marriage.

3- 7:6. Jewish law permitted concessions for human weakness; here Paul permits but does not require periods of abstinence, implying that it is those who wish to abstain (rather than those who do not) who are weak. Abstinence within marriage is their idea, not his.

7:7. Paul recognizes that not all are called to singleness and equipped for it.

7:8. Singleness has advantages; see comment on 7:32–34. But not everyone is equipped for this lifestyle; others should pursue marriage (7:9). After discussing marital relations in verses 2 to 7 he returns to the original question in verse 1 and repeats his own personal preference as in verse 7. He does not say that it is better to be unmarried, but only that it is good (καλον [kalon] as in verse 1) for them to remain unmarried.

7:9. “Burn” (NIV, NRSV and TEV interpret correctly by adding “with passion”) was used throughout ancient romances to describe the arousal of passion, often (metaphorically) through Cupid’s fiery darts. Whereas Greco-Roman literature in general saw nothing wrong with passion, Paul believes that its proper place is only in marriage, and he advocates two alternatives: either self-control or marriage.

II- CHRISTIANS WITH UNBELIEVING SPOUSES ARE NOT TO LEAVE THEIR SPOUSES. (1 CORINTHIANS 7: 10-16)

1 Corinthians 7:10–16 (NLT)

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband.

11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

14 For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.

16 Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

A- God has commanded that believers not leave their spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (NLT)

10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband.

11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

1- This divorce prohibition—virtually unique in antiquity—is “from the Lord,” from a saying of Jesus (Matt. 5:31f.; 19:3–12; Mark 10:9–12; Luke 16:18.

Matthew 5:31f (NLT)

31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’

32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

Mark 10:9–12 (NLT)

9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

10 Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again.

11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her.

12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16:18 (NLT)

18 “For example, a man who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. And anyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”

B- Believers are to remain with unbelieving spouses. (1 Corinthians 7:12-16)

1 Corinthians 7:12–16 (NLT)

13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

14 For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.

16 Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?

1- A believer who is married to an unbelieving spouse is not to leave the unbeliever. (1 Cor. 7:12-13)

1 Corinthians 7:12–13 (NLT)

13 And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

2- If there is only one believing spouse, it is still holy (set apart) for God’s redemptive use.

Example- Timothy’s family.

(Acts 16:1-2)

Acts 16:1–2 (NLT)

1 Paul went first to Derbe and then to Lystra, where there was a young disciple named Timothy. His mother was a Jewish believer, but his father was a Greek.

2 Timothy was well thought of by the believers in Lystra and Iconium,

(2 Timothy 1:5)

2 Timothy 1:5 (NLT)

5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.

III- CHRISTIANS ARE TO REMAIN IN THE STATE HE WAS IN AT CONVERSION. (1 CORINTHIANS 7:17-28)

1 Corinthians 7:17–28 (NLT)