Proverbs 1:8-19 - The Family: God's Plan for Wisdom

Proverbs: Wisdom for Life in God’s World  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  50:01
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Introduction:
If you have your Bibles let me invite you to open with me to the book of Proverbs chapter 1.
This is now our fourth week working through the book of Proverbs.
We spent the first three weeks working through the Preamble in verses 1-7.
In the preamble we learned of the books primary author, King Solomon...
the books purpose that we may gain wisdom from God,
and in verse 7 we studied the interpretive key to getting that wisdom.... that is that the right fear of God is the beginning of knowledge.
Last week, we took a pause to explore how the book of Job helps us to interpret the book of Proverbs.
We took that pause because we were and we still are grieving together over the passing of a precious one year old named Gabriel DeArmond.
This past Thursday’s funeral service was nothing short of a miraculous display of the glory of Christ shining through our church members, and especially Gabriel’s parents… as we all continue to put our faith in Christ alone even in the midst of such deep sorrow.
I know that our grief over the loss of Gabriel has really only just begun, and that there will be different seasons of sorrow in the coming days…,
But as I considered what to do for our teaching series this morning, the Lord gave me a peace with moving forward with our Proverbs series.
God has us here for a reason.
I can only assume that God has a plan for shaping us, holding us fast, and directing our steps through this book in the days ahead.
So with that said, lets turn our attention to this morning’s text.
lets read.
and lets pray for understanding.
Proverbs 1:8–19 ESV
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason; 12 like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; 13 we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder; 14 throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse”— 15 my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths, 16 for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood. 17 For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, 18 but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives. 19 Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain; it takes away the life of its possessors.
Lets Pray
Verse 8 is the beginning of the body of the first collection of wisdom writings within Proverbs.
There are what looks to be seven collections of wisdom writings within the book.
ou may ask, well how do you know when one collection ends and another begins…
Well there are literary markers that show us a new section is beginning.
For example, Chapter 10:1 begins with this introductory sentence,
Proverbs 10:1 (ESV)
1 The proverbs of Solomon...
chapters 10 - 22 then follow a different kind of structure then chapters 1-9.
Chapters 10-22 totally consist of individual unconnected proverbs… but chapters 1-9 is different.
Chapters 1-9 have a bit of a structure to them.
While chapters 10-22 will bounce around from one wise saying to the next.
Chapters 1-9 is one big plea using different kinds of arguments and illustrations and explanations that urge you to choose a wise life rather than a foolish life.
In these chapters 9 chapters, there are 10 lectures that follow the format of a father and a mother instructing their child.
Listen to how this first collection of wisdom moves along like the journey of raising a child in which you have same types of conversations over and over again.
Proverbs 2:1 ESV
1 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,
Proverbs 3:1 ESV
1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,
Proverbs 3:11 ESV
11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof,
Proverbs 3:21 ESV
21 My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion,
Proverbs 4:1–4 ESV
1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, 2 for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. 3 When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.
We could keep going, but I’ll stop here because I think you get the point.
The book of Proverbs is designed to speak to us the same way that a parent repeats him or herself to their children over and over again.
But why?
Why structure a book designed to make us wise to function like a parent speaking to a child?
Here is the first and I think most important reason why.

Truth #1 In Proverbs We Hear the Voice of God our Good Father

We as a church, right now are deeply grieving the death of a one year old.
Our grief as church members, however, pales in comparison to the grief that Gabriel’s parents are feeling and will feel in varying degrees for the rest of their lives.
In fact, if you have never experienced the loss of a child…, and if you are a parent in the room, you automatically empathize with the depth of their grief in your own head, by unintentionally imagining what it would be like to lose your own children.
It is an unimaginable sorrow until you are faced with it.... it is unique to all to other kinds of suffering in the world.
And I think the depth of our grief in such a circumstance is actually there pointing us beyond itself.
Why is it that we feel so deeply for our children??
It is not because they are particularly useful to us at a young age.
It is not because they contribute financially
It is certainly not because they are good house keepers
So why is it we feel so deeply for our children?
Well, I think its because we were made in the image of God.
We are hard wired from the foundation of the world to be creatures who feel deeply for their children…, the kind of love that God feels for his children.
It is no accident that God has revealed himself to us as Father.
It is no surprise that our triune God has always existed as Father, Son, and Spirit.
He has always been giving and receiving Fatherly affection....,
and thus he created humans to reflect that affection and to feel deeply that affection.
The deep an incomparable grief that the DeArmonds feel right now because of their love for Gabe should also serve as a testimony to how much their heavenly Father loves them even in this moment of sorrow.
And just like my two year old when she goes to the doctor to get a shot cannot comprehend the plans that I have for her, for her good, and for her growth, and for her protection.... We cannot fathom the plans that a loving God has for us… especially in our moments of pain.
Let me just pause here church family and urge you to consider how wise our heavenly father is compared to us....
And then let me remind you that our love for our own children are but a shadow of God’s love for his children whom he adopted at the price of Jesus’ blood shed for us.
The gospel message is this.
Our God has existed from eternity past as Father, Son and Spirit.
We rejected fellowship with him when we sinned against him
But God adopts us into his family fellowship once again, by sending the Son to take our place and to pay the price for our sin. We join that family by placing our trust and our hope in Jesus, God the Son, sent from the Father to purchase his children with his own blood.
God is our loving Father who went to great lengths to have fellowship with us for all of eternity.
Its why Jesus says we pray in this way.
Matthew 6:9 ESV
9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Our Father inspired the book of Proverbs and he ordered it in such a way that it speaks to us much like a Father speaks to his children.
but, as much as we know that God the Father is above and behind the voice of the Proverbs as the ultimate good Father…,
Why did King Solomon structure his book this way?
Why did he structure this section to operate like lectures from a parent to a child…
Solomon articulated that the purpose of this book was to receive and pass down wisdom… and I think Solomon understood that the family unit is God’s plan for passing down wisdom.
This leads us to truth #2

Truth #2 The Family is God’s Plan for Teaching God’s Wisdom

Listen to this helpful commentary from Old Testament Scholar Bruce Waltke,
It appears Solomon intended to pass his wisdom to Israel’s youth by putting his proverbs in the mouths of godly parents (1:8-9), even as Moses disseminated the law in the home.” - Bruce Waltke
Remember, Solomon would have been very familiar with the books of Genesis through through Deuteronomy.
And God very clearly outlined for Moses what would be required for Israel to continue as a God glorifying society.
Deuteronomy 6:4–9 ESV
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This is God’s plan for expanding God’s kingdom… Godly households where parents take the primary responsibility for teaching their children the words and wisdom of God.
And thus Proverbs begins.
Proverbs 1:8–9 ESV
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
There are several things we should notice about these opening lines.
Firstly, the bottom line.
Parents are called by God to teach their children the things of God so that as their children grow, they actually wear their parents instruction like a graceful garland and a pendant around the neck.
In other words, God aims to be glorified… .he aims that his character will be reflected to the world… by the way we parents dress our children with the wisdom of God day in and day out.
If they head our instruction, they will be blessed, and they will be a blessing to others.
Parent in the room…, God has given you this responsibility.
Not the public school system, not the private school, not the nanny, not the church children’s programming.
There is an insane concept that has crept into the american church culture over the last half-century.
The assumption is that you can simply send your child to church programming so that they will be shaped by the wisdom of God...
But how will a child be shaped according to God’s wisdom by attending a one hour weekly program at a church when they live with you all the other hours of the week.
God established the family unit to function as a disciple-making unit long before established local churches were instituted by Christ… and the institution of the church did not replace the institution of the family…
The church now only comes along side the family to encourage the family to fulfill its God-given purpose.
Father’s its your teaching.. Mother’s its your instruction that will adorn your child with the glory of Christ.
Notice here in Proverbs that both Father and Mother are cooperating in this endeavor to teach their children.
I know we have broken families represented here in this room.
I know we have families where one spouse is a believer in Jesus and the other is not.
I know that these are some of the most trying aspects of your life.
I am not saying that this is the way it is for everyone in the room. I am not saying that you experienced this at all as a child. I am saying that this is God’s good and preferable design…
A father and a mother cooperating in the effort to raise their children in the words and wisdom of God.
And father’s I want to speak to you specifically.
It is your sinfulness, your pride, your laziness, and your prolonged adolescence that punts this responsibility for your wives to bear alone.
Father and Mother are seen in cooperation here in this verse, but its primarily the voice of the Father that you hear leading out in this endeavor throughout the book.
It was Adam who God confronted in the garden for the sin committed.
Its Husbands who are responsible for washing their wives with the water of the word of God.
Ephesians 5:25–26 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Its Father’s whom Paul particularly calls out as responsible for children in Ephesians 6:4
Ephesians 6:4 ESV
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Both parents have a high calling of raising their children, but husbands and fathers, the texts of Scripture hold you responsible for the spiritual climate of your household.
Don’t act like your father Adam shirking responsibility and casting blame.
Walk in the steps of Jesus, taking responsibility, taking blame, and the sacrificing yourself for the good of your bride and children.
Your sons and your daughters need you to be a Biblical man.
Now, if your not a parent in the room, do not check out here.
Christ has expanded the familial language to now include the church.
The apostle Paul had no wife and he had no biological children....
But listen to how he describes the Thessalonians.
1 Thessalonians 2:7–8 ESV
7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
1 Thessalonians 2:11–12 ESV
11 For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.
You might not have children… but we live in a world where many of us if not most of us did not have parents that raised taught us or instructed us in the things of God....
And if they didn’t do it… who will do it?
Where will we turn? We turn to relationships within the church…
We turn to those who have walked the worthy walk for longer then us to receive wisdom and we turn to those who have not walked the worthy walk for very long and we pour out as much wisdom to them as we can.
The church is the redemptive community that now fills in gaps where the family units have been obliterated by sin.
In our Wednesday night community kid ministry we pick up kids from around St. Rose who will never be taught the wisdom of God’s words unless the church steps in as a light among their darkness.
There are adults in our work places and neighborhoods who have no graceful garland of instruction on their heads or pendants of wisdom around their neck… and God has placed you in their life.
But what do parents teach their children?
Other than just teaching them the actual words of Scripture, how do we instruct? How do we teach? What are we preparing our children and our disciples for?
Well its more than just the transferral of head knowledge.
We are attempting to prepare them to walk in wisdom, that is to walk in God’s world according to God’s way.
Verse 10 is a summary statement for this first parental lecture.
Proverbs 1:10 ESV
10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.
Another force is introduced in verse 10.
Another influence upon the child.... sinners will entice
Proverbs 1:11–14 ESV
11 If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason; 12 like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; 13 we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder; 14 throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse”—
Listen to what the world entices with
The world comes with promises of adventure.
The proverbs warn of those who seek thrill, and purpose, and adventure in the ambush of the innocent person.
There is something almost exciting about their invitation.
We will break free from the mundane righteousness of this world, and we will live on the edge. We will lay and wait, attack, and swallow up our victims whole.
They come with not only promises of adventure, but promises of easy fulfillment.
Why would you work a day job, when you can throw in your lot with us and bank easy money.
Listen to the enticement in verse 13.
Proverbs 1:13 ESV
13 we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder;
The promise is that these things are fulfilling.
These material possessions will bring happiness, and you can get them the easy way.
Just join us for the road to easy fulfillment… big pay off to your fleshly desires with little work needed.
Not only will you have the adventure and the easy fulfillment of your desires… you will have a community to pursue all that with.
The wold will come with promises of belonging.
Deep within every soul is a longing for adventure, for purpose, for fulfillment, and for belonging.
I’ll read the enticement again, but I want you to notice all the first person plural pronouns.
This is more than invitation to go do some bad stuff.
This is an invitation to join the gang, the community, the boys, the girls… This is an offer of belonging.
Proverbs 1:10–14 (ESV)
10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.
11 If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason;
12 like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit;
13 we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder;
14 throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse”—
So much of a teenagers poor decision making comes from a motivation for belonging.
They want to belong to the group, whatever social group that they think will provide them with the deepest sense of identity and protection from isolation.
These temptations are present in everyone’s life, and they will especially be present in the growing adolescent....
But the Father in proverbs says very boldly and clearly, “do not consent”
but that is not all he says....
I think we all could learn a thing or two about disciple-making and child rearing from the examples provided in these parental lectures.
Notice how the good Father prepares his son for the enticement of sinners.
Proverbs 1:15–18 ESV
15 my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths, 16 for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood. 17 For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, 18 but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives.

Truth #3 The Good Father Prepares His Children for the World’s Enticement

Remember this is not just about information transfer… This is about training and teaching someone to walk wisely in a hostile world.
Several components rise to the surface of this text. You can think of these as subpoints to Truth #3.
Firstly notice that,
The Good Father Teaches What is Right and Wrong
This seems like an obvious responsibility but it is not in our world of relativism and fluid truth where you get to choose your own truth.
This Father clearly identifies what is evil for his children.... and he needs to.
We are certainly born with some sense of write and wrong, but that morality needs to be shaped and conformed to the truth.
Do not teach your children that they are like God, getting to choose what they believe to be right and what they believe to be wrong…
No there is a God with a holy standard, and we must teach them that standard
Not only do we need to teach that standard, we need to wisely enforce that standard.
The good Father doesn’t just inform, he prohibits.
The Good Father Prohibits His Son from Pursuing Evil
Proverbs 1:15 ESV
15 my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths,
This is not advice… this is command.
Loving parents both teach their children, and they prohibit them from pursuing evil paths.
It is not unloving to deny your child the thing that he or she thinks they want.
It is not unloving to enforce rules they don’t understand but that will keep them safe.
I have used this analogy over and over again, but it was fresh again yesterday…
When I am stressed, I like to do little construction projects or wood working at my house, and I had all my power tools scattered under the carport yesterday.
Multiple times Amelia and Owen wanted to turn my power tools into their play toys and I had to prohibit them from doing so. They didn’t understand, but my rules were only for their safety.
Parent…, lovingly command your children not to walk the paths of he wicked...
but don’t just command them.
They will inevitably ask, “why?”
And let me encourage you not to say, “because I said so”
That is not what the Good Father does here.
The Good Father Explains the Lie of Evil’s Promises
Proverbs 1:16–19 ESV
16 for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood. 17 For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, 18 but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives. 19 Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain; it takes away the life of its possessors.
Evil always backfires.
Sin always promises life and leads to death.
The good father even uses an analogy,
He says…, Birds recognize when a net is spread in front of them, and they avoid that net....
But these sinners, they walk right into the trap
They think they are going to shed innocent blood… but their blood will be shed.
They think they are setting an ambush for others…, but they will fall to their own ambush.
You see the parallels with James that we will study this week.
James 1:14–16 ESV
14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers.
Sin is a liar and its promises always fail.
It will not provide a sense of adventure.
There is no such thing as cheap and easy fulfillment.
The belonging with the world is not the community you want to belong to.
There is a better way, a narrow path, a straight path that leads to life.
There is a wisdom way which invites you into the greatest adventure in the history of the world. We are invited to participate in the mission of God to glorify his name to the ends of the earth for the eternal salvation of every soul who will believe.
There is a way of wisdom which is not cheap and easy…, but it is the most fulfilling.
Jesus proclaims for you to come to him.
John 4:14 ESV
14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
There is a belonging with God and his people that is eternally sweeter then any belonging to any community the world has to offer.
There is a community whose mission is to embody the love of Jesus to one another… a community who seeks to love one another, forgive one another, serve one another, teach one another, rejoice with one another, weep with one another… it is the community of the church and it starts now and it goes on into eternity.
The promises of the gospel of Jesus Christ are always better then the promises of sin… the promises of the gospel always deliver.
And the good father, teaches these things as a reflection of the good heavenly father who teaches us these things.
God has given us the Scriptures… and in them
God our Good father has taught us what is evil.
He has prohibited our pursuit of evil.
He has clearly explained the lies of the evil one.
The question is, will you hear his instruction.
Will Proverbs 1:8-9 be true of you and your relationship with your heavenly father.
Proverbs 1:8–9 ESV
8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, 9 for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Let me conclude with a few takeaways:

1.) Parents, Lead Your Family in the Wisdom of God

if you do not have some set aside time where you as a family read a scripture together and pray… I strongly strongly encourage you to incorporate this into your weekly rhythm.
Your kids don’t just hear what you say… They watch what you prioritize.
They watch to see if your faith makes a difference at home, or if its just a box you pull off the shelf on Sunday mornings.
I have tons of book recommendations if you are interested in where to start.

2.) Disciple Others with the Compassion and Intentionality of a Loving Parent

Whether this be in a community group or community kids, or with a beloved friend… Everyone needs people in their life who will fill this role of teaching and instructing in love for the good of the other.

3.) Meditate on God as Your Good Father this Morning

meditate on his wisdom, his love, and his word that he speaks for your good.
Do you trust him to be a good Father to you?
Will you reflect his image to your own family and to the world around you?
Lets Pray to this end.
Submission to authority.
Wisdom passes through God’s authoritative structures
The household is a picture of God’s household.
Sin turns on you.
Cross references: James 1:13-18.
Notice that verse 9 is not a reference to armor but to adorning For praise.
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