The Ghost of Offense

Terry Turner

The Ghost of Christmas Past • Sermon • Submitted a year ago

Proverbs 19:11

Ephesians 4:2

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Good Morning

Before your seated greet someone next to you and tell them your glad they came today.

Good morning! Welcome to Freedom Chapel. My name is Pastor Terry and I am the lead Pastor here at Freedom Chapel. If you are new with us this this morning thank you for joining us. Please fill out the welcome card in your bulletin or online by using the QR Code.

If you are sitting near an offering bucket would you please grab that we are going to take up this weeks Tithes and Offerings.

We have three ways to give Online with the QR Code or Church Center App, In the Bucket, or in the black boxes at the back of the room.

No matter what way you choose we want to thank you for your continued faithfulness in giving. God is doing great things through your giving.

Let’s pray!

This week we are beginning a brand new series entitled The Ghost’s of Christmas Past. The goal of this series is to help provide Biblical insight to how we can overcome the things that tend to make the Holidays more difficult us.

Have you ever noticed that Christmas is a time that really Magnifies things. When something good happens around Christmas is tends to be so much bigger of a good. A Baby being born near Christmas seems to be a bigger deal. A gift given at Christmas time seems to always seem bigger.

At the same time when something difficult happens at Christmas it always seems to be more difficult.

A death around Christmas always seems to put a much bigger cloud around that time of year than any other time of year.

It’s absolutely crazy how what might be a little painful during the year seems to be incredibly more painful if it happens around Christmas.

Over the course of the next three weeks we are going to cover Three major battles that always seem to be magnified at Christmas.

Next Week we are going to talk about the Ghost of Shame. Shame is something that we all deal with in one way or another. We are going to talk about Healing From Shame. That internal Battle of since I did something bad I must be bad. Well we are going to take a look at what the word of God says as it speaks directly to our hearts when it comes to healing from our shame.

Week Three we are going to look a the Ghost of Labels. Over the years we have all picked up a few labels. Maybe it is something someone has called us, or something we feel about ourselves. Labels ten to limit us. I believe god wants to free us from those labels this Christmas Season.

Today, I want to start this series with a Ghost that has haunted me for most of my life. In fact this Ghost and I went to battle pretty hard during my sabbatical a few weeks ago. God had to do some major work on my heart in October and is continuing that work even now. Today I want to talk about The Ghost of Offense. Today we are going to learn how to overcome offense.

How many of you here today know someone who is easily offended?

Go ahead raise your hand if you know someone who is easily offended.

Shame on you for raising your hand they would be so hurt if they knew you were thinking about them right now. They would be so offended.

Now let’s turn it inward. How many of you if you are honest get offended more often than you should. It’s more difficult to admit when the finger is pointed at you.

How often do we let little things weigh us down?

The unappreciative driver who you let in front of you.

When you hold the door for someone and they don’t say thank you.

When someone is looking at their phone when you are trying to talk to them.

Or The didn’t like or comment on your social media post.

Even worse is when you find out that one of your friends unfollowed you.

Maybe they didn’t answer your text message or phone call for like 24 hours.

Or they started to text you back and you saw the bubbles but the message never came. Like they just abandoned you in the middle of the responding.

Maybe it’s just me but these kind of things drive me nuts. I can get really offended if I am not careful.

Then the holidays come around and the What are you bringing to dinner never ending night mare group text comes out. You sign up for several things and you sister signs up for one or none. Then they show up with tupperware. Because they are going to take the stuff they didn’t bring home with them.

Or Someone tells you they don’t like the way you are raising your kids or says something bad about your kid.

At this point the Christ is out of Christmas and your about to get Mas of these hands.

Isn’t it crazy how much more Christmas magnifies the little things into big things and the season of honoring Christ becomes a season Haunted by offense.

How much destruction these offenses cause between the people we love most.

Now that I have talked about the little things, I don’t want to overlook the big things. In the world we live in today the reality is that some of us here today have some significant hurts and wounds that have come to us during this time of year. Some have been lied to, lied about, abused, left out, walked out on. That is very real and very hurtful.

Some here today are going into family situations that are very dysfunctional and hurtful and have for years and years and years.

The challenge we face when we are offended,is when we allow the Haunting spirit of offense to seep into our hearts and to overcome our attitudes, often time we become the biggest contributor to entire Christmas dinners being destroyed.

As you sit hear today many of you have families that are divided and friendships that have ended because of offense. I pray with all my heart that you don’t go into this time of honoring the birth of our Savior Jesus and opening gifts with a closed heart towards someone you are called to love. That you don’t celebrate the love of Christ while hating somebody that is very close to you. I pray that we never enjoy the grace of God with out extending the grace of God to people around us. This is why we are talking today about over coming offenses.

Over the course of my sabbatical God really did a work on my heart in the area of offense. I came to realize that through conditioning my entire life I am prone to misinterpret other peoples comments, actions, and attitudes as rejection. Without even realizing it at time I snap into a defensive, protective posture in order to protect myself. Once I realized what was going on I began to research ways to overcome offense and feelings of rejection. One of those overcome solutions is to recenter my thoughts with phrases like one I learned from Craig Groeshels book Winning the Battle of the Mind. In it he gives a phrase that really make you stop and think.

“Your life is too short and your calling is too great to live offended.” -Craig Groeshel

I will say it again.

At times I have to make it personal

Terry- Your life is too short and your calling is too great to live offended.

Think about it

James 4:14 ESV

14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

James reminds us that life is quick. It goes by so fast.

My oldest child graduates High School in a few months. It like Just yesterday she was a baby and I was leading worship up here watching people pass her around the sanctuary on her first day at church.

My Calling is Great.

But So Is Yours.

1 Peter 2:9 ESV

9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Matthew 5:13–16 ESV

13 “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

God has called you to proclaim the Good News, to Flavor the World, and to be a light is the darkness.

I don’t know about you but......

My life is too Short

My Calling is to Great

To Live Offended By Something Small

Small People Carry Big Offenses

I refuse to be a small person.

Some of Us need a little more Elsa in out lives.

Let it go…Let it go Why?

Our life is too Short. Our Calling too Great.

Say it with me.

My Life is too Short

My Calling is too Big

To Live Offended.

Turn to your neighbor and tell them.

Your life is too short and your calling is too big to live offended.

Let’s take a look at Proverbs 19:11

Proverbs 19:11 (ESV)

11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Say it with me:

It is to my glory to overlook an offense.

Now I am not saying that the way to overcome offense it to pretend it didn’t happen.

It is saying that you overlook the fact that it did happen. It is a conscious decision to let it go. This is a form of forgiveness.

This is like training my spirit to consciously and intentionally in real time forgive offenses as they happen.

Like an NFL Running back bouncing off tackles, dodging defenders, and hurdling the opposition while focusing on one goal. Overcoming.

Overlook an offense is to pass over it, to get above it with your heart, to rise above it spiritually, to get closer to God, so close to God that your not low enough to les a meaningless offense take you off of God’s calling.

“Whenever anyone has offended me I try to raise my soul high that the offense cannot reach it.: -Rene Descartes.

Why?

If life is too short, and our calling to big why would we ever let something small distract us from something so big.

i want to break this down into two thoughts. Dealing with small offenses first. Then we are going to deal with heavier offenses.

Because some of you right now are thinking Pastor you don’t even know the stuff I been through. Your talking about tupperware and I am dealing with some big stuff even generational stuff.

We are going to reframe this all. Into two thoughts and it begins with a Statement.

“With God’s help I’m getting over this.”

It is to your glory to overlook an offense. With God’s help I’m getting over this.

The First thought is this.

“With God’s help I’m getting over being easily offended.”

Ephesians 4:2 NLT

2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Anybody here know someone who is perfect?

Paul tells us to be patient with other people, making allowances for each other’s Faults.

Since no one here is perfect we should all be making allowances for other’s faults because of our love.

Have you ever noticed that we tend to judge others by their actions, while wanting ourselves to be judged by our intentions.

In other words You did this. Well I didn’t mean to do that. You know my heart right?

I wasn’t thinking that. If you really knew me you would have given me the benefit of the doubt. When the show is on the other foot though we tend to point the finger at other peoples actions. What happens when you point your finger.

We want to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions.

We need to recognize that when someone else has a bad day, when someone else has a bad response, when someone else might seem uncaring, unkind, unfriendly, short, inattentive, lacking empathy, their bad response is not all about you. It's not. Their bad day is not all about you. Their bad driving is not in an attempt to offend you and ruin your whole day. Their snarky remark is not about you. The fact they walked by fast without saying thank you is not about you.

Whenever someone is short with me, what what we need to be learning to do is ask myself, "I wonder what they're going through. I wonder where they're hurting." When someone is a little bit rude instead of judging them what I want to do is have compassion for them. I wonder if there's some way I can minister to them. I wonder if they need prayer. Instead of immediately taking an offense, what I want to do is have the attitude of Christ. I want to have compassion on someone because I'm getting over being easily offended.

Thought number 2:

“With God’s help I am getting over BIG offenses.”

I want to spend a little time here and be very gentle. There are some major wounds represented in this building. I know far to well that Christmastime, can stir up every betrayal , hurt, abuse, lie, and experience that has been painful. I know this is very, very real for some.

Here is what I want you to realize though.

When you are hurt you have a choice.

You can go to one of two extremes.

You can rehearse what happened. That what we often do

They did this and then..........

We go over it over and over again. Then we find an audience to rehearse with. Be is social media or a close friend. Next thing you know your hurt has a posse. It’s very own crew.

We can rehearse it or.....

With God’s help we can start to release it.

I’m passing over it. I am over coming it. It’s to our glory to overlook an offense.

Forgiveness is a process. For some it takes time but it only truly comes to pass when we continue to seek God. When we press into him, when we continue to pray, when we continue to see to do the right thing.

His Spirit can actually start to change hearts.

Colossians 3:13 NLT

13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Jesus is asking us to make allowances for one another’s faults.

Some of you are thinking of someone right now.

You might even be thinking about me.

So what do we do?

We have to remind ourselves: “Lord forgave me and the least I can do is forgive others.”

How do you forgive somebody that seems unforgivable? How do you forgive something that's so wrong, so brutal, so horrific? Not only how do we forgive someone that hurt us, but you know what's sometimes even more difficult? To forgive someone that hurt someone that we love. "Oh you mess with my kid, that's another story. You mess with my wife."

How do we forgive?

We forgive as we've been forgiven.

How do we do it?

We forgive as we've been forgiven.

I don’t know about you but I have been forgiven of a lot.

If you were to add up the 41 years I have been on the earth: all the people I have let down, all the times I have been less than honest, all the people I have hurt because of my hurt, all the times I have blatantlyt sinned against God.

I have been forgiven of a LOT!

How do we forgive someone who is unforgivable? I forgive the same way that I’ve been forgiven.

Freely I have been forgiven and freely I must forgive.

It is going to be a process of God help me forgive. God change my heart. God give me the ability to show grace the way you have shown me Grace.

God help me to pray for this person even though I don’t want to.

I don’t know if this will speak to someone this morning. But if it is let God crack open your heart a little bit.

Right now everything inside of you is wanting me to shut up and end this sermon.

The truth is right now you need to hear this. You have been haunted by a ghost of offense way to long and like most the way you mask it is by adding other offenses. “You mask the pain by constantly being at war with somebody.

Let’s be like Descartes:

“Whenever anyone has offended me I try to raise my soul high that the offense cannot reach it.: -Rene Descartes.

Let’s grab the controls of this plane and climb. Climb to Jesus.

I have been here too long. This storm has had a hold of me for too long. causing turbulence and fear in my life for too long. I am going to climb out of this and find some calmer air.

My Life is too Short and My Calling is too Big to stay here any longer.

The very thing that was holding me back for so long, it will hold me no more because I'm growing closer to God.

The lower offenses of this world do not hold me back because life is short.

I'm not going to let something insignificant take me off track because my calling is great.

I'm not rehearsing this, I'm releasing it.

I'm not rehearsing it, I'm releasing it.

I'm getting over it. I'm getting over it. I'm getting over it.

Somebody in this house today say Amen.

Over time we’re not going to be saying

“ I’m getting over it”, but because of God, “ I am over it. I am over it, I am over it. It is not holding my back any more because I am over it.”

There is this Character in the Bible named Joseph.

His Brothers threw him in a pit.

The then sold him into Slavery.

From Potifer to Prison to Second in command of the Country

Then a famine hist the land and His brothers show up asking to buy some bread.

Joseph had ever opportunity and by human standards every right to enact his revenge.

But one Line has stood out to me over the course of these last few months.

Joseph came to the realization that with God used every painful and horrible experience to God was working.

With extreme emotion Joseph revealed himself to his brothers.

And they were terrified.

But Joseph said this to them.

Genesis 50:20 (ESV)

20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good,

You see what they meant for evil, My God turned it, my God used it, My God used it for Good.

We have to get to a place where we tell the Ghost of Past offense.

I am over this, I am over this, That’s beneath me. I am not going to let is slow me down any longer. I am going to do what God has called me to do. So I am leaving my Past where it Belongs.

In the Past.

For some of you this morning God is beginning a new work in you. Right now you are beginning to believe that with God’s help you are finally going to be able to get this Ghost out of your life.

I believe that the Holy Spirit is at work right now all over this room providing comfort and grace.

I am looking forward to the day when you are saying With God’s help I am over the pain of my past.

I am Free, I am Free

With God’s Help and Jesus’ Forgiveness I have learned to forgive others.

It is to your Glory to overlook, to rise above, to not be held hostage by some offense.

Why?

Life is too short. Life is too short to live offended.

Your Calling is too great..

Do you recognize that.

I sure didn’t. I have struggled here far to long.

My Calling is too Great.....to live there.

Your Calling is too Great to live there.

We forgive in the manner we are forgiven. We didn’t have to earn it so why should those we are offended at have to earn it.

My life is too short and My calling is too Great to live offended.

Stand with me this morning.

God as we remember Jesus’ birth this morning. Help us be reminded that His name Immanuel literally means God with US!

Some of us need you with us this morning. We need to forgive.