Learning to Forgive Matthew 18:15-35
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Intro: Forgiveness
Intro: Forgiveness
Butch resigning as an Elder
Today we are going to learn how to forgive
It’s gonna start with how to deal with the person when you’ve been offended
Then we are going to look at forgiveness after multiple offenses
And then finish it up with a parable on forgiveness
Forgiveness: is the release, on the part of the creditor or offended party, of any expectation that a debt will be repaid or that an offender will receive punishment for an offense.
In the OT Forgiveness can also be expressed by stating that one will not “remember” (zākar) the offense or “count” the offense
This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and fowl vocabulary.
He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet.
He opens the freezer door. The parrot steps out and says, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and actions. I ask for your forgiveness."
The guy's astounded at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what changed him when the parrot continued, "By the way, may I ask - what did the chicken do?"
Obviously we can’t handle all of our situations like that so what do we do
Learning to forgive
I. When Offended vs. 15-20
I. When Offended vs. 15-20
When you are offended
Most won't follow the process
Won't deal with it
Harbor bitterness
Gossip about it
It would be wrong for anyone to take Jesus’ word here as a command to confront your brother with every sin they commit against you.
The Bible says we should bear with one another and be long suffering towards each other.
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Yet clearly, there are some things that we cannot suffer long with and must address.
We can say that Jesus gives us two options when your brother sins against you.
You can go to him directly and deal with it; or you can drop the matter under Christian long suffering and bearing with one another.
Other options – holding onto bitterness, retaliation, gossiping to others about the problem – are not allowed.
When believer offends another believer
Go privately
Directly, to no one else
Tell them how they have offended you
Not to vent
Not to win an argument, but to win the brother; reconciliation
If agree, it's over
Get some help: 2 or 3 witnesses
Approach as a group
“A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.
If a malicious witness arises to accuse a person of wrongdoing,
then both parties to the dispute shall appear before the Lord, before the priests and the judges who are in office in those days.
Handled in the assembly of God's people
Not in the courtroom: forbidden in 1 Corinthians 6
Take before the church
Leadership that represents the whole
For the purpose of restoration
vs. 18 Loose on earth will be loosed in heaven
vs. 19-20 Where two or three are gathered:
Jesus here indicated that meetings of His people – indeed, meetings full of power and authority connected to heaven – do not need to be large gatherings.
They can be of two or three of His followers at a time.
A meeting of two or three is easy to gather. Someone is always close at hand, and it isn’t hard to find a place to meet.
“Two or three are mentioned, not to encourage absence, but to cheer the faithful few who do not forget the assembling of themselves together, as the manner of some is.” (Spurgeon)
numbers are not essential.
rank of the people is not essential
place is not essential
time is not essential
This shows us that the particular form the meeting should take is not essential.
Are gathered together in My name: This shows us that meeting in Jesus’ name is most essential
Gathering together in His name means that we are known by Him and by His name.
Gathering together in His name means that He is our point of gathering; we gather around Jesus.
Gathering together in His name means gathering according to the character and nature of Jesus.
Gathering together in His name means gathering in a manner that Jesus would endorse.
I am there in the midst of them: This means that Jesus isn’t up front, closer to the minister or the leaders. He is in the midst, there to be close to all. It means that he should be proclaimed and revealed to all. Some people leave a church saying, “They have taken away my Lord, and I don’t know where they have laid Him.”
II. After Multiple Offenses vs. 21-22
II. After Multiple Offenses vs. 21-22
Peter's seven sounds generous
Rabbis said three
Peter doubles and adds one
Seventy times seventy
Count 490
We would lose count
Love... keeps no record of wrongs
Keep forgiving; infinite
What Forgiveness is
In biblical forgiveness, the wrongdoer admits, “I sinned against you,” and asks, “Will you forgive me?”
The one wronged must respond by promising, “I forgive you.”
Forgiveness – releasing resentment and pardoning one who has offended or hurt you – is rarely a one-time event.
The pain doesn’t disappear once you forgive someone.
And those closest to us may hurt us repeatedly, requiring us to forgive multiple times.
The best way to step toward forgiveness is to admit that you need to forgive.
Be honest with the Lord and ask Him to reveal any distorted thinking you may have about forgiveness.
That often begins with discovering the difference between what forgiveness is – and what it is not.
This is very different than just saying you’re sorry or saying to the one who wronged you, “Hey, don’t worry about it!”
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
How do you move on to Forgiveness?
How do you move on to Forgiveness?
Refuse to bring up the offense, especially to the offender
Refuse to bring up the offense, especially to the offender
For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”
Refuse to think about the offense.
Refuse to think about the offense.
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
Refuse to talk to others about the offense.
Refuse to talk to others about the offense.
Be reconciled with the offender as far as is biblically possible.
Be reconciled with the offender as far as is biblically possible.
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,
leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
III. Parable of Forgiveness vs. 23-35
III. Parable of Forgiveness vs. 23-35
Who wanted to settle accounts with his servants: The king in this parable expected his servants to be faithful and honorable in the way they conducted his business. Therefore, one day he examined their work and would settle accounts with them.
Who owed him ten thousand talents: Commentators list the modern value of 10,000 talents as anywhere between $12 million and $1 billion USD. The figure clearly represents an unpayable debt.
vs.25-27
His master commanded that he be sold: Of course, the man was not able to pay. Therefore the master commanded to sell the debtor, his family, and all he had. This would not satisfy the debt; slaves at their top price were sold at a talent each (and usually sold for much less). Yet it would bring some measure of justice.
“Top price for a slave fetched about one talent, and one-tenth that amount or less was more common.” (Carson)
Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all: The promise of the servant made no sense. He spoke as if all he needed were patience; that if he were given enough time he could actually pay this massive debt. The disciples listening to Jesus would think this was humorous.
“Many a poor sinner is very rich in resolutions. This servant-debtor thought he only needed patience; but indeed he needed forgiveness!” (Spurgeon)
The master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt: The master showed mercy prompted by compassion, forgiving a debt that obviously could never be repaid – despite whatever promises the servant made.