A tool in God's hand for the sake of my spouse
Family • Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 2 viewsNotes
Transcript
A certain man, last week, knew that he did something that will upset his wife. But, after a while, amazed, he told her : you behave so nice, what happened? In the past you were not speaking to me, thinking you can change me that way! Well, she said; I quit trying to change you. I will pray instead.
Can I change my wife? can I change my husband? Can we change the behavior of our spouse?
We agree that we cannot change the heart of our spouses. Still we are trying hard the opposite every day.
I made my husband a millionaire.
Spouses throughout the Bible that have tried to change their families, that have tried to make their partners do or say something: Sarah, Rebecca, Joba, Jezabeel.
Sarah - Sarah was always trying to make Abraham to do this and that. Sometimes she was right, sometimes she was terribly wrong. Anyways, Abraham was listening only when he considered she was right (Gen. 16:2; Gen. 21:10-11).
Rebecca - she knew she can’t change Isaac, so she used a trick.
Joba - ‘bless’ God and die
Jezabeel - I’ll fix it for you = I will act as I am the king and I will give the orders and I will make it happen. I!
Abigail - didn’t even try.
There is no men or women in the Bible that was successful in trying to change the behavior of their spouses toward good by their own power! None! Proverbs 19:14!
God is using every husband and wife as TOOLS for changing their spouses.
At the end the Lord our God will ask every husband and every wife: what has she/he become while you were married?
Ephesians 5:25 - Love and Give Yourself!
The Bible doesn’t say husbands, love your wives as you love Christ. God forbid! Eph. 5:28a, 33.
The purpose of Jesus: sanctification. The act of Jesus: love AND giving Himself.
Our try to mix them up: I love you so I will sanctify you. What’s missing? Giving myself!
What does it mean to love in this context?
To MIND the need and MEET that need by
loving and giving MYSELF.
Why doesn’t Bible say that Jesus loved by giving Himself? There is not an equal between sacrifice and love, even though the sacrifice can be an expression of love. See 1 Corinthians 13!
sometimes great things might be done with evil or bad intentions.
There must be love first, and then any act of gesture is welcomed!
There is no recorded text in the Bible that talks about a perfect way a man should behave toward his wife before the dead and resurrection of Jesus; why? Because only Jesus Christ, on the cross, was able to show what does it mean to be a men, a real men!
This is how God uses me as a tool! When I love my wife as Jesus Christ has loved the church, then I am the right tool in God’s hand! The sanctification is made by God!
If I refuse to understand that God will use me if I accept to be a tool, I’m nothing more or less but a _ool. Not cool..
Love comes first!
I want to love her, but she doesn’t obey! She’s mean!
When Christ died, where was the church? There is no church before resurrection! There is no new life until Jesus came back from the dead. So, the church was not even existing when Jesus died for her! So, she couldn’t even obey.
Love comes first. Then, obedience. Love of Jesus makes me love Him, that means to obey. He loved us first ! (1 John 4:19)
Reason for love - the command of the Scripture, not the obedience of my wife. I don’t love my wife because she’s obeying my words. I’m loving my wife because I am part of the Church of Christ Jesus, Son of God. And He loved me and He gave Himself for me. [...] This is why I love my wife!
If I want my wife to be changed:
I must accept the fact that I am a tool in God’s hand. That’s enough.
To be a tool means to love and give myself for her needs.
Whenever my wife needs something my ego will pop up: I must give myself, I must sacrifice my ego, love and sacrifice.
Greatest needs of every women: undivided attention, admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness.
I MUST ASK her about her needs. Jesus knew it all and He continues to know everything the church needs. In the family we must talk. With our wives and with God!
The women wins after all.
The husband and the wife have a problem: who’s winning after all? Who does the Bible say is the winner at the end: the husband or the wife?
The wife goes to the Pastor and she’s asking: Pastor, who’s winning after all? - What do you mean by that? - Who’s winning in the Bible, who’s the one that at the end is winning? The husband or the wife? - Well, the Scripture says that the wife wins after all - 1 Peter 3:1. Between the husband and the wife, there is one winner in the end: the wife! She wins! - I knew it! That’s how it should be; thank God. What’s the passage again? - 1 Peter 3:1! - Thank you, I will let my husband know. [… She goes home]. - My dear husband, the head of my life, there is only one winner and that’s me! The Bible says so and from now on we will do so. - No way! Where does the Bible say so? - 1 Peter 3:1! - I must read that now! [… They read it out loud and she says: oh, I win..... - Yes, and I, I’m your prize.
1 Peter 3:1-7 -
Win without words
There is a great desire for being a winner, and the family is no exception about that.
I’ll just pray: I’ll just pray. I’ll let God deal with him! I won’t care about him anymore.
To pray is good. But it’s not all!
The Holy Spirit says it clearly: you must win without word!
My words cannot change my wow-men!
I can’t win by words.
WWW: Win without words.
Wives!: you are called to be winners within your home.
Win (1 Pet. 3:1c - kerdethesontai) your husband by being obedient to the word of God, which says: be obedient to your husband.
Your prize is your husband, not your argument :)
English Standard Version (Chapter 2)
An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.
Win (in the NT): Matt. 18:15; 25:16; Luke 9:25; 1 Cor. 9:20; 1 Cor. 9:22; Phil. 3:8.
Adorn the hidden person.
imperishable, incorruptible, immortal [add] beauty of:
Gentleness: Matt. 5:5; Jesus: 11:29; 21:5; Paul: 2 Cor. 10:1; Restoring each other: Gal. 6:1.
Quiet/Well ordered spirit: Luke 23:56; 1 Tim. 2:2; Acts 11:18; 21:14.
Precious in God’s sight! It doesn’t matter how many ladies will give you a round of applause. It matters if God is pleased by you.
Because this is how - 1 Peter 3:5a
The holy women who put their expectation in God! - 1 Pet 3:5.
To adorn yourself = to obey - 1 Peter 3:5
1 Pet. 3:4 - to adorn means to work on gentleness and quiet spirit. To adorn means to obey.
Connect yourself with a model of the church. Who can be a model for others?
Maybe he doesn’t always listen, but he’s certainly watching your conduct every single day.
Holy & Respectful life through adorning your inner person
Holy women - the model, the example
Obedience comes first
I would obey, but he is so mean! He doesn’t love me.
I obey...
I obey my husband. I call him lord. You know.... lord of the things (rings). All things in our house, except my room and the kitchen and the car and the laundry and the pantry. Is there anything left?
Obedience with gentleness vs unkindness.
Husbands: stop sabotaging your prayers!
If I chose a life of holiness and respect, I obey God - this is how God can use me as a tool for the change of my husband!
I can’t change my spouse! But God can! We do not have grace, but we are administrators of God’s grace!
I will love her and give myself for her! So the Lord can use me for her good!
I will obey him and live a holy and filled with respect life. So the Lord can use me for his good.
It doesn’t mean I will stop talking. It doesn’t mean we do not talk about it. It doesn’t mean I won’t pray anymore. It doesn’t mean I cannot express my thoughts. I will do all of these knowing this: God is the one that changes him/her. I’m just a tool in God’s hands. That way His grace will be outpoured. What does it mean to be a tool? To love and give myself. To obey, to adorn myself with holiness and respect.