Growing Fruit: Seeds of Sin

Joseph Kindon

Growing Fruit • Sermon • Submitted 2 years ago

Genesis 4:1–16

Sin

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Welcome/Intro/Prayer

Goood Morning Church! How is everyone doing this morning? It is wonderful to be in a new season. I feel like it became fall overnight. Who here likes this fall season raise your hand?

Before, we get started I wanted to invite us to reflect on the challenge from two weeks ago. To write down our decisions and reflect on if they were rooted in self-centeredness or God’s Spirit.

Would anyone be willing to share their experience with this activity or even how being aware of your decisions has influenced you over the past few weeks?

The reason Ive asked you to participate in this challenge is the deeper that we get into this series the more I want us to be reflecting on what is going on inside of us, because I beleive that being aware of us internally is the first step to developing and growing fruit externaly.

This morning we are going to look at one of the biggest barriers to going deeper not in just our relationship with God but our relationship with others. As steve, prayed last week there are broken relationships that we carry as a congregation both inside the church and outside the church.

Lets pause for a word of Prayer.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I have conflict with people. Happens all the time. Its a part of life. You will disagree with people. You will have conflict.

I used to say, I love conflict, but after the past year Im not so sure I love it anymore. Unresolved conflict has left bitterness and brokeness in my life. There are people that I have been so entrenched in conflict with that I actively try to avoid them. But, God can work through that brokeness and bitterness in me and bring healing. Amen?

The bible gives a vision for peace and unity. But we literally carry names of people we have conflict with. The Questions , remains is how do we move forward? How do we as Spirit empowered Christians work to end cycles of conflict and live a healthy and more Christ centered lives? My hope is that we will have some answers by the end of our time together this morning.

Transition: This isnt a typical sermon but a lesson where we are going to learn alot of new things. If you have paper and pen. pull it out. We are going to start by learning about something called the conflict escalation cycle, then we will look at conflict between Cain and Abel and from what we learn from both sources have tools to help us better deal with conflict.

The Conflict Escalation Cycle:

The information I want to share with you this morning comes from Dr. Betty Pries in her book “The Space Between Us”. Dr. Pries is a pioneer in understanding and working through conflict in churches and organizations. Betty lives in Canada, but I had the priveledge to meet her while I was at AMBS this Past June.

We all experience conflict, but did you know that there is in fact a process of conflict escalation? I dont know about you, When we have conflict with someone its not just one thing and BAM you hate each other right? There is a process and build up.

Defining the terms and stages of Conflict.

Disagreement- the healthy expression of our differences, we explore differences without making it personal.

Expressing our differences is healthy!

You disagree but it has no effect on your relationship, your sense of self isnt threatened.

disagreements mean we can have differences, but we can also check in with the other and ask, are we okay? Did i push to hard?

Can you share something youve disagreed about with someone recently that is merely a difference of opinion?

When does disagreement become a problem?

When our sense of self-hood is at risk. When we percieve something about us is under attack by another.

Often: We can have a fragile sense of self, low self esteem or unworthinesss This leads to a fragile selfhood and an increased vulnerability to slip from disagreements to conflict.

Conflict- When our disagreements become personal, Its not only that we disagree over a problem, but we believe the problem is the other person in the disagreement.

This is not huston, we have a problem, but huston you are the problem!

In this stage a “us” verse “them” mentality emerges.

An easy example of understanding this is how people think about any given president of the United States. Wether you vote red or blue or green or purple.

Have you ever noticed how much is the president’s fault? taxes, gas, prices, inflation, legislation.

Instead of seeing these individual things as a problem, the person becomes the problem.

Some of us might be agreeing in your head right now, youre in conflict with someone youve never met and have no relationship with him.

But, Im pretty sure you can picture a situation youve experienced this in your own life.

Triangulation may occur in this stage where you bring others into the fight and try to get people affirm your perspective and take sides.

There is eventually a tipping point in conflict

Tipping point is reached. Hostile and mutually escalating behavior occurs. The self justifies actions that humiliate, punish, or harm the other.

Being right is more important than solving the problem or being seen as reasonable.

The conflict eventually becomes entrenched- cemented in place.

Entrenchment- When our conflict ridden expressions of our differences become cemented in place. (slide)

Parties alter social structure to exclude or avoid the other while still maintaining the conflict. Ironically, new disputes may be limited at this point, as contact between the parties is also limited. Memories of old disputes, however, continue to be rehearsed; they become like codes that govern the behavior of the parties.

Sadly, in this stage there is Risk of violence. Relationships may never Recover.

Now I want to ask you very hard question Church, How many of you have reached this stage of conflict with someone in your life? How many have you reached the point where youve given up hope that it will be resolved?

Raise your hand

I want to encourage you that even if your at this stage of conflict with a person or even a group of people. There is always hope. Jesus is the healer. The reconcilor, our prince of peace, the one who broke the dividing wall of hostility. There is no limit to what He can do in your life.

We now going to transition to the scripture text and looking at the conflict between Cain and Abel through the lens of Conflict Escalation, Now, I hope none of us have lived this story, where conflict has reached the level of Murder, but In many ways, this text functions as a mirror for us.

Before I read the scripture, I want to pause for a moment of prayer and invite God’s Spirit to illuminate this text with fresh eyes.

Read Gen 4:1-16.

Scripture Speaks to Us Today

Cain and Abel’s Sacrifice

Cain and Abel brought sacrifices to the Lord from each of their gifts and occupation. Abel and animal and Cain Produce. Nothing to sugguest that this was the first time this happened because they are old enough to be working the ground and tending to flocks, so What is different this time?

One had favor and the other did not. Why? We will get to that later!

The text says that God had favor on Abel and his offering and but didnt look favoribly on cain and his offering

What we can deduce is that the offering and the person giving the offering were connected.

Disagreement has emerged. One was favorable and the other not

We dont know why God looked at one favorably and the other not. We dont know how Cain and Abel knew that God reacted this way. Heres what we can deduce:

What we do know is Abel offered the firstborn of the flock (later Torah requires this)

We dont know if Cain followed suit, but Torah later requires first fruits of crops.

We do know from verse 7 that something Cain did was not right.

We see that Cain is sad and conflict has emerged. For cain its personal.

Cain took this personally, He saw this as God rejecting not only his offering, but as Himself being rejected.

When we experience instability and lack of control in our own sense of self-we begin to look for stability and control in the external for Cain He looks at His brother and His offering

Conflict often emerges from and is in rooted in two places.

Instability with yourself or lack of emotional regulation.

Which often leads to the second which is Comparison to others.

Example in of how internal instability can shift to conflict,The District Retreat Planning Committee.

Dan’s gift of contacting retreat centers.

internal instability

Comparison

if I hadnt emotionally regulated, I could come to the next meeting thinking Dan is the problem it slip actual conflict if a disagreement arose

if you find yourself in a state of instability about you idenity and you feel you have to defend yourself often, go back to your source of identiity.

Quote scripture to fight it. Youve been redeemed by Christ. He chose you. Thats your identity. Romans 8 gives us a list of nothing that can seperate us from that.

Let’s transiton to back to the text and continue with the story of Cain and Abel.

The Real Problem: Cain’s Heart

Why did God reject Cain and his offering? well verse 7 gives us a clue!

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted[JK1] ?[JK2] But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”[JK3]

When our heart is not in the right place, Sacrafices are pointless. This is why David says in Psalm 51, For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You take no pleasure in burnt offerings. 17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart,

or in Hosea 6:6 “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”

God warned Cain, the problem was in his heart and sin was at the door ready to take over him, The conflict is now entrenched. Cain is now convinced out of self doubt and inadequecy that his brother is the problem.

In verse 8, What does Cain do? He kills his brother.

Transition: Now my hope is that we never reach this same conclusion in our conflict with others, but Jesus says, if we hate anyone it is same as murdering them.

what are some steps we can take to disrupt the conflict escalation cycle. How do we stop conflict and entrenchment before it stops.

Application: Disrupting the Conflict Cycle!

How do we not only disrupt the cycle of conflict in our lives, but how we move forward disagreeing well?

Practicing Presence

Paying attention to feelings and emotions emerging when in conversations that touch our selfhood.

Being present to ourselves.

Utilizing the MUG as a Tool

Focusing on the Problem as the Problem

Turning People problems into situation problems

Learning to be curious and ask questions in Disagreements.

Three words to keep in your back pocket- “tell me more”

Learning more about a situation will help you understand the problem Learning more about a person (hearing their story) disarms “enemies”.

Practicing your ABC’s when in Disagreement with Others

A- Recongnize, accept, heal or transform your underlying emotional process

B- Take responsibility for the actions that you have been done to cause harm

C. Refocus on the problem and the necessary steps to solving THE PROBLEM!

Wrapping UP

Know: Conflict Happens. But we are in control of how we respond in situations where disagreements turn to conflict

Why: God calls us to do everything we can to live at peace with others, Hebrews 12:14 “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

The only way we can grow fruit, the only way we can work and grow together as a church.

Do: Utilize the strategies of Practicing Presence, Utilizing a Mug when your selfhood is at Risk. Learn to ask questions when Conflict Arises. Practice your ABCs

Challenge: I want you to sit down and reflect on a current or past conflict utilizing this ABC process.

Write what are some underlying emotions that you have in this situation. It is best to name them. they could be pride, fear, doubt, feelings of inadequacy.

Take responsibility for your own actions, ask what have I done to cause harm here?

if nothing comes to mind go to God in prayer.

Write out what the problem of that situation is: if you write down a person, go back to A.

Write down steps to solving the problem. The first step will always be prayer

Imagine: How could these steps transform the way we handle conflict?

How could this approach strengthen our relationships rather than our barriers and walls?

How it would look to have healing in our families and in our church?

How much more God could use us as a family of Jesus followers who truly loves, trusts, and disagrees well with each other?